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Suicide Prevention and in Memory of Those Lost

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Suggestions for Advice Seekers and Givers

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Onyxavia
Captain

PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 7:39 pm


Suggestions for Advice Seekers and Givers

    The vast majority of this was copied from Life Issues stickies, since the rules that apply there apply here as well.


    SUGGESTIONS FOR ADVICE SEEKERS

  • Please have a relevant title to your problem or issue.
    Rather than typing in all caps: "HELP!!!!", "READ ME!", or something else just as unhelpful, please make sure the title relates to the problem or issue you're seeking advice on. This will give those trying to help an idea if they can post and help out, or if they don't know anything about the topic and thus won't waste time by reading the thread.

  • Be specific about your problems.
    Instead of bombarding people with a long list of how terrible your life is:

    Example: "Wah, my brother hates me, my gf broke up with me, my life is terrible"

    Try to be more specific about what your problems are and what kind of advice you're looking for, so that we can help:

    Example: "I seem to have a lot of problems with my anger. My brother hates me, and I just lost my girlfriend because of it. Can you give me any good advice on how to work this out?"

    If you want good advice, you need to spell everything out and give us something that we can constructively try to help you with (unfortunately none of us are mind readers). This will reduce questions and confusion, and ultimately provide you with better help.

  • Use Proper Grammar and spelling.
    It helps so much for advice givers when they can actually understand what you're trying to say. "l33t", Strange Capitalization of letters, or run on sentences without periods all make it harder for the reader to understand what you mean, and thus means you won't get the best advice.

  • Listen and be polite.
    If you don't agree with someone's suggestions, that's perfectly fine. But being defensive, and refusing to listen to other's opinions and suggestions will get you no where. Also attacking them for trying to help is ridiculous. Those posting here are trying to help out others for the goodness of their heart. No one gets paid, or receives tangible benefit for the time and effort spent here helping others.




    SUGGESTIONS FOR ADVICE GIVERS

  • Don't make assumptions.
    Please do not make assumptions. Instead try to ask for more information rather then give bad advice based on poor assumptions. Or at the very least say in your post that you're unsure if you're right.

  • Be mindful of other people's feelings.
    While it is commonsense, please be kind to the thread creator. Obviously they are in distress and worried or hurt about something, or otherwise they wouldn't be posting here.

  • Be patient.
    Sometimes trying to help people is frustrating. Try to be patient and help if you think you can. If not, then either move to another thread, or take a break and get rid of some of that frustration.

  • Accept what the thread creator says, and try your best to help.
    Sometimes, we are wary that the thread creator is lying or embellishing the truth. Whether that is true or not, have faith in them, and try your best to help them out. Just because you think it's unlikely that it can happen doesn't mean that it hasn't happened. And it's always best to err on the side of caution right?

  • Do not post off topic or pointless one word replies.
    If you are going to try and help someone out by posting, at least take the effort to make sure it's worth everyone's time. One word replies will be considered spam, and so are warnable/bannable.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 7:51 pm


IMPORTANT UPDATE STRAIGHT FROM NORABOO

noraboo
When a person asks for advice in this forum, you should respond in one of two ways;

Either by attempting to give helpful advice and assitance, or by not responding at all.


It does not matter than you think whatever they did is morally objectionable or that you disagree with their views on sex, drugs, pineapples, or the best way to cook an egg.

You are not here to pass judgement.

If you want to go argue about what is morally correct, get out of life issues this guild and go to ED. But you will not continue to derail threads and abuse users because you cannot exert the self control to keep your fingers still and resist posting what you think of the person. No one cares what you think of them, and more importantly, they did not post so that you could look down from your high horse and pass judgement on them. They posted for advice and assistance. So either swallow your arrogance and your need to condemn people for having different views than you and behaving in ways you would not, and give them honest advice, or suck it up and do not post.

Whether you realize it or not, going into a thread and calling someone a stupid ******** or a whore or whatever is abuse.

So this thread is a reminder of that, so you are not surprised when you wind up banned. For the benefit of everyone, keep your excessive editorializing to yourselves.

Onyxavia
Captain

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Suicide Prevention and in Memory of Those Lost

 
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