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Eccentric Writer

Lonely Werewolf

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 11:12 pm


Type: Fanfic
Length: One-shot
Fandom: Yu Yu Hakusho
Warnings: Shoen-ai
Summary: He was used to being the one to protect, to be the support people needed when hope seemed lost. He just never expected to need someone himself.

Trust, its foundation takes forever to build up, but moments to shatter it. Without trust, there can not be friendships or relationships. Without trust, one would aimlessly wander though life a cold hearted soul. When he was Youko Kurama, at the peak of his power, he trusted few. Even though he led a group of thieves, he trusted none after Kuronue's demise. Yomi had done nothing to earn his trust, if anything he continued to shatter what little trust he put in him; all it caused was for him to continue on his path of destruction.

Even now, nineteen years after his first death, his trust was not lightly placed. But those he trusted were worthwhile friends. Kurama saw very few now a days who trusted no one, he didn't think there were any humans like that. He always assumed humans placed their trust in whomever and were forced to deal with the consequences. Looks are deceiving, as he had found out many years ago. He just never thought that the one human he thought would never turn on the world, trusted fewer than himself.

The young man he was thinking about was their previous group leader, now a half demon. The boy always seemed a bit distant to authority figures, but that was expected. He never expected him to loose trust in his friends and family after his transformation. His brown eyes hardened, showing a coldness he had never seen in Yusuke's eyes before. Kurama had come upon him staring into space quite a few times, as if questioning his decision to stay in the human realm. Of course, he still acted normal, but anyone could do that. For some reason, it hurt knowing something was bothering Yusuke and he didn't trust him enough to talk about it.

He supposed this was one of the reasons Keiko left the young man, because he was a stranger to her. Yusuke never confided in her, never told her where he was going when he disappeared, but still acted normal as ever. She failed to see what they once had, as if he had changed upon his return to the human realm. She was kind about it, telling him to sort out his thoughts that obviously had him so distracted. Kurama had overheard Keiko talking with Shizuru about that day. Yusuke had smiled at her words, as if thanking her.

Yusuke and Keiko went on with their lives as if the break-up had never happened, strangely enough. Even when Kurama had forced Yusuke to look him straight in the eye, there was no sign of pain or regret. Just a cloud, a bleak cloud hiding all emotion from view. It was unnerving because the young man normally wore his every emotion on his sleeves; it made him so much easier to read. Even though Yusuke looked fine on the outside, Kurama knew something was wrong with him.

For a good solid month Kurama gently prodded Yusuke into telling him his problems, in the most subtle of ways. Of course each attempt was countered, had he really become so predictable? Kurama had to keep telling himself Yusuke was bound to crack sooner or later, preferably sooner. He just wanted to be there when it happened, just in case Yusuke lost control. The snap was bound to happen and it did.

-

Furious brown eyes turned on Kurama, silently demanding to know why he continued to prod into his life.

“Yusuke,” Kurama spoke in an even tone. “Something is wrong with you, we are all worried. We can't help you if we don't know what's wrong.”

“I don't want your help,” Yusuke snapped. Kurama's eyes widened a fraction at the bite behind his words, but brushed it off. Yusuke strode across the room, coming to a stop at a random spot, his back still turned to the kitsune sitting on the couch.

“Why not?”

“I don't need help,” Yusuke growled. Kurama stood and walked over to Yusuke, ignoring the demonic energy rolling off of the Toushin in warning.

“You have us all worried Yusuke, you're so distant these days. Please, tell me what is troubling you.” He placed a hand on his shoulder, determined to get some sort of answer out of the young man. Yusuke's muscles tightened beneath Kurama's hand, as if getting ready to strike. Even if he did, Kurama would be ready for it. He'd pin Yusuke to the ground until he calmed if he had to.

“You're not going to leave until I tell you something, are you?” There was a hint of defeat in his voice.

“No,” Kurama replied in a firm voice. Yusuke's shoulders dropped along with his head as a sigh of defeat escaped his lips. Kurama knew he was victorious as Yusuke walked back over to the couch.

“I-I don't know what's wrong with me. I just don't feel like I can…”

“Trust anyone?” Kurama supplied. “Or feel as if you can't lean on anyone for a change?”

“Yeah,” Yusuke sighed. “You might as well be a mind reader.” Kurama smiled softly at his words.

“Yusuke, don't be afraid to lean on someone when you need the support.” The silence from the young man was answer enough, he didn't believe his words. Kurama gently pulled Yusuke into his lap and wrapped his arms around him in a protective manner.

“Kurama?” He questioned, uncertainty evident in his voice.

“You don't have to put up your walls around me Yusuke, I can see through you. You can't always be the support, sometimes you need assurance that someone is there. Trust me Yusuke, let me protect you.” Yusuke knew the words Kurama spoke were true, he had spent countless days trying to figure out the mess that he had just spoken. It was strange to be the one held, but, at the same time, it felt nice. He was so confused anymore after his demon blood had awoken; it was frustrating not having any answers. He supposed, somewhere along the line, he just slipped away from his friends unsure of what else to do. Kurama smiled as Yusuke relaxed against him.

“Kurama,” Yusuke spoke after a few minutes of silence.

“Hm?”

“Thank you.” Those words, Kurama would forever remember.
PostPosted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 8:32 pm


Eep. That's a pairing I don't think about often. Kurama's usually paired with Hiei in my mind. But damn, that was good.

Okay, time for me to PostNazi you. You've got some sentences that make less sense than socks on a polar bear. Take the following:

Tijiya
Yusuke knew the words Kurama spoke were true, he had spent countless days trying to figure out the mess that he had just spoken.

Okay, are you saying Kurama spent countless days on that? Or was it Yusuke? And which mess, exactly?
Then there's the punctuation problem. Don't be afraid of semi-colons; they won't hurt you, I swear. There are a lot of sentences that would flow much more smoothly if you replaced one of the commas with a semi-colon.
Also, ignore the word proccessors- fragments are good. Real people tend to think and speak in fragments. Granted, Kurama doesn't seem the type to be so sloppy with his thinking, but I bet even he gives one-word answers every now and again.
Call me crazy, but I think your opening would sound better as two sentences: Trust. Its foundations take forever to build, and only seconds to shatter.
Like I said, call me crazy if you want, but that's my opinion.

Ignoring the grammar and punctuation, this is a good fic. Nice and short, with a good theme and good execution. I'd say it's about middle draft level; one more revision, and it'll be done, provided you revise it completely.


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Casiela Elfbane
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