Welcome to Gaia! ::

I wonder if anyone'll take the time to read this? xP
It's one of those fantasy ones, those are overdone, I'm sure, but writing has always been one of my passions, the other being drawing.
Anyway, I've been working on a novel for more than four years now, and believe it or not, I've only got eight chapters done! I just keep going back to edit the ones I've written.
So, I figured I should maybe post a bit of the first chapter for you guys to tear apart (I've seen some good constructive criticism on here). Now, keep in mind that this first chapter is a diary entry by the main character (it is the first, and last, diary entry in the whole book, considering I hate journal type books sweatdrop ).
So...lemme post some of the first chapter up.

Chapter One
Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

______A dark, deserted courtyard lay open to my feet as I emerged gasping for air and dripping with grimy water from an underground tunnel. I felt dizzy from the sharp, winding turns of the submerged path and something else I couldn’t place my finger on. I think something was following me, I can hardly remember anything about traveling through that watery tunnel, just snitches…but I remember the rest of my dream, diary, at least until the end.
______The courtyard was easily specified as ancient, or seldom tread. A fine layer of damp moss stretched thinly over man-made stones and tiles with engraved writing that I could not for the life of me decipher. Besides, time had taken its toll, the stone worn and the deeply engraved words filled with dirt and leaves from the surrounding garden and trees that were shriveled in the courtyard. This crumbling structure lay in the shadow of tall, looming walls with the same strange writing, brown ivy acting as a blanket along the sides.
______A single purple flower stood tall and alive, coursing with energy, in the center of the decaying courtyard, sending out waves of energy that could be felt rather than heard or seen. As I drew closer, the fragrant smell of Lavender Roses filled all of my senses, and I no longer felt dizzy or dirty but fresh and rejuvenated. Droplets of water were falling, one by one onto the petals of the Lavender rose from a cracked fountain standing eight feet tall, alone it stood, the smooth marble showing lesser signs of decay.
______The marble statue was that of a woman, long hair flowing down to a few inches past her ankles, elegant, ruffled dress stopping just short of mid-foot. In her slender hand was held a thin, long wand, from which the water drops fell, keeping an unnaturally steady beat. The sculptor of this masterpiece was truly great, every detail exact on the marble.
______But something urged me to leave the glowing tranquility of the rose and the beautiful statue. Something made me want to head to the far end of the courtyard, the place least lit by the rose and its life-giver, the place farthest away from the water-filled tunnel that had brought me to this courtyard; the courtyard with its ancient builds, decaying life, the sky heavily laden with billowing gray clouds.
______I didn’t resist the urge, nor was I afraid, because I knew this could not possibly be reality. I let my feet do the thinking and deciding, and in doing so, I was brought to the only exit from the lifeless courtyard other than the underwater passageway. An endless tunnel with absolutely no light, except the faint light that revealed the impeccably carved mouth of the cave that was all that was left from the rose and statuette. From what I could see, the same writing as on all the surrounding tiles on the floor of the courtyard could be seen covering every visible surface of the passageway's stony inside, only the quantity of different words and symbols was greater.
______Nausea came in waves throughout my throat and stomach as I stepped closer to the opening. Two of me with my arms outstretched could walk easily through the passage that had no visible end. I started to walk into the depths of the passageway, each moment the bile rising in my throat. Yet I kept going, almost sauntering, ignoring the illness that befell me, a pressure throbbing in my temples.

Thoughts so far?

Yaaay. I think I can post up the rest of my first chapter then. ^_^

*jaw drops to the floor*
......WOWZZA!!! i didn't even see that coming O.O
i was so interested in what would happen next....i zoned out of place and into the story.....now that's what i call a good "Author" biggrin

Well that's what I had hoped for, but most of the people I show it to get extremely bored and can't finish the chapter.