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Wings of A Leader: By Kupo ninja

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Kupo ninja

Newbie Hunter

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 11:35 pm


Wings of A Leader.



The summary:

Darkness incarnated, Trials of Fire and Sea, and a Destiny controlled only by Fate and Love. “Who are you, what do you want?” I wanted to say, but couldn’t because of the sharp pain that slashed across my back.


The story:

My life started that day a long time ago, when she fell into my arms as I was leaving my parental units’ work place. I had nothing to really get excited about unless you count the fact that girls hated my living guts because I couldn’t live up to any standard they saw on TV.

But I’m getting off track; I will start from the beginning. I’m the narrator and I’m also the lead star of this story. My nick-name is Cobalt, but my real name is Kale Ohms. I got the name from my friends, Crimson a.k.a Terry and Sapphire a.k.a Sue-Ellen. I go to a school for those gifted with two parents who are rich enough to afford it but I’m not sure how, I never have any money. My life was going nowhere fast from lack of a life, it’s always:

“You can do better than this” or “I’m afraid your son isn’t trying.” I was tired of it and slipped into a groove of boredom. My life is boring but my grades are up, that’s a good sacrifice right? Right? I didn’t think so… I better start the story soon or Terry here is going to hurt me.

I’ll start a week before I get to the real story. Terry, Sue-Ellen and, I are all about sixteen years old. I was at school zoning out as the teacher talked about how our futures are affected by what we do when we’re young. Sue-Ellen, one of my only friends, was sitting behind me and braiding my flowing whitish blue hair. Sue was an Asian girl, with a unhealthy attraction to my hair. She was the type to where shorts in even the coldest weather but a normal sweater.

Her hair like mine was a strange shade for it to be natural. Her hair was short, blue, and gelled up into spikes, her eyes matched her hair, the same icy blue, and the only thing that stood out on her was the thick glasses she had to wear. Her long slender legs held my back to the chair so I couldn’t think about moving.

“Hey Sapphire, how about as payment you come to my house and we could get a little more friendly.” I said walking my fingers under her short legs.

She growled and pulled my head back to meet her desk with a thump. “No, now move that hand.” She barked like she was my drill sergeant.

I did as I was told but I didn’t like the look Ms. Canary (our favorite teacher) had given me. She was a hippy woman who was always seen in clothes that would have fit into a bad sixties spy movie. She at the moment was wearing disco ball style earrings and a canary yellow cotton dress that was hand-made. She was a golden haired woman with a tight, firm, wait… I can’t think of my teacher like this but I can dream. I started actually listening to the teacher and my eyelids got heavy. I laid my head forward and passed out. This is where thing get strange.

Dream world

Everything was surrounded in darkness, now it was darkness incarnated. The room looked like my class but darker, colder, and dead. I was dressed in a black and white uniform and letting off a bright light, this was nothing new but for my dreams this was something out of place. A girl with shiny green hair and a football jersey appeared before me; wings stretched from her back and eyes that could stop the conflicting worlds of instinct. Who are you? What do you want? I wanted to say but nothing came out, she smiled and kissed me on the lips and faded into the darkness. A sharp pain slashed across my back, making me writhe in pain on the ground.

Outside my dream

Sue-Ellen was still braiding my hair and saw my hand reach for someone who wasn’t there, all she could do was smile at the funny sight. “Who are you? What do you want?” I said in my sleep. Everyone yelled for me to be quiet and started to laugh when they saw my out stretched hand. My body jumped as the attack in my dream hit. She saw blood soaking my back and screamed for everybody to move as she picked me up and shook me and tried to wake me.

Dream world

The darkness was slashing away as the light emitting from my body started to fade. “Cobalt, your weapon is the wind, use the wings in your heart and fly.” A voice screamed from outside my head. My heart began pounding hard, almost too hard. A smooth object dropped into my hand as the pressure on my heart got to the point of busting. I held the object with both hands, like a samurai. “I am Cobalt of the wind, leader of the knights of aura!” I yelled. A blade appeared in my hand but it had the sharp side on the back edge. As I swung this reverse blade sword in a downward motion, because it became too heavy; the resulting wind turned into a million daggers, shredding the darkness. The world became very bright and I snapped awake.

Outside my dream

The teacher was trying to get people away from me, so she was able to try and stop my bleeding. The crowd was trying to see what was happening and did nothing but cause a fuss. As the cuts in my dream became real the floor turned red with my blood, and the people in the front of the group felt my blood spray. “He’s possessed, this kid is the pawn of the devil; he and his friends all worship the devil.” Some girl said before reading from the bible.

Sue took the book from the girl and slapped her across the face with it. “Cobalt, your weapon is the wind, use the wings in your heart and fly.” Sue-Ellen said kneeling down beside me.

My body became motionless besides my arms which I held up to the ceiling as I went through the same motions in my dream but instead of cutting through the darkness my attack blew out the ceiling lights and made people scream and panic. “

See, I was right, this kid had the devil in him!” The girl from before said raising a crucifix to me.

Paramedics rushed into resuscitate me, when they saw my breathing was stable enough to move me they loaded me into an ambulance and rushed me to the hospital. As I lay in the ambulance I awoke to see Sue-Ellen crying with her head against me chest. “How come you get to put your head to my chest but I get hit for even looking at yours.” I said wearily.

She drew her fist back to hit me for my joke but settled for a simple flip of the bird. "You are one tough guy Chief."

I was released home the day after but I didn’t go back to school until Thursday. As I walked in everyone was looking at me like I was the most hated guy on earth. As Itook my seatsomeone threw a bible and it hit me in the base of my neck.

“Why did you throw that?” a flame haired boy asked picking up another student by his throat. The boy didn’t speak, out of fear or to be an a*****e.

I took my seat rubbing my neck, still feeling the affects of that strange dream. “Crimson, drop him, I’m fine you worry to much.” I said trying to calm my heated friend. I was burning up hot, like the flames of hell had consumed my flesh.

Crimsonwas a tall kid like Sue-Elle, except he tried not to lord it over me. He was slightly on the hefty side nothing a good day at the race track wouldn’t fix. He threw the kid on the ground and scoffed before sitting in his seat. He was a giant in his own right and I didn’t mean his height. This guy had a temper that would make a volcano whimper in fear (I’m glad I’m his friend).

The teacher watched to make sure that I didn’t doze off. I wasn’t upset but I wanted to rest, I was feeling sick and I needed to fall asleep.

“We have to vote on new designs for the uniforms, I’m guessing people would freak if we were to wear camouflage colors.” Sapphire said thinking.

The hours trudged by like a walk through drying cement. My parents came to pick me up at the end of the day, they were later but I didn’t have the strength to complain. As I lay down in the back seat my mother placed a hand to my forehead, she then touched her own forehead to compare.

“Honey, you’re running a fever, are you going to be okay until we get home?” She asked rolling up her jacket and placing it under my head like a pillow. She is a little too protective but sometimes I am a little bit of a thorn in her side.I was sweating like a heroin addict when my parents finally got to the house and got some medicine in me.

I was lying in bed for a few hours before I awoke. When I looked across my room Sue-Ellen was knocked out with her head on the bed. She was drooling slightly and it bothered me to see her in this vulnerable position, it was kind of new to see her worry so much. I kissed her lightly on the lips, she doesn’t like me to do that but I take what affection I can get from the girl.

I slipped out of the bed and started to leave the room, but as soon as I opened the door Terry was there with a bowl of what appeared to be cereal. “Here eat up chief.” He said shoving the bowl into my hands. He then turned me around and sat me on my bed.

Iate as he watched me swallow every bite. “You don’t have to do this; my parents are just down the hall.” I said wishing he wouldn’t be so forceful. He shook his head and pointed to my clock. It read: Sun 10:29 P.M. “Holy fornicating feces!” I yelled snapping Sue-Ellen from her slumber.

She looked up at me and smiled. “So you’re back on your feet mighty leader.” She said playfully punching me in my arm. “I thought you were going to die, so I made sure I was here to see you.”

That was kind of sweet and very disturbing on the same note. I felt stiff like I had died as I had slept, my breath tasted like a grave yard. “Sue, Terry, I’m going to take a shower and I’ll be right back.” I said assured them as they still looked worried.

Sue threw her shoe and hit me in the chest. “I said stop calling me Sue-Ellen, my name is Sukiko Len, get it right Beaver breathe.” She screamed. I smiled and watched this thinking she was cuter when she was mad.

I gathered some clothes and other items and walked into the bathroom. I peeled away my clothes and bandages before stepping into the shower. As the warm water ran over my body the image of the green haired angel girl flashed in my mind but only enough to remind me of her. “Emerald…” I caught myself saying. I was in the shower until I felt that I smelled clean, which took an hour. I dried off and pulled on some clean pajamas before walking back to my room.

Terry and Sue were in my bed almost waiting for me. I climbed in the bed somewhat refreshed knowing they were watching over me. “Good night guys.” I said lying back in the bed. Sue climbed over me and was crushing me, I wanted to ask her to get off but she was already fast asleep. Terry on the other hand fell asleep with his back to the wall like he was ready to pop up and strike at any given moment. I wrapped my arms around Sue and let my hands rest at her tail end. She mumbled and pulled a quilt over us. “I love you too.” I whispered to her. I didn’t mean love kind of love, I meant as a platonic friend.

I awoke to my alarm clock which buzzed like a busy bee. I threw a shoe and broke it before stumbling out into the hall. I usually followed my nose to the kitchen but there was a strange smell as I walked in. “Is that the smell of real food cooking?” I asked as I stepped through the doorway.

I thought my parents had gone to work, but they only cooked when they were home, which wasn’t often. A young woman’s figure caught my eye as I walked in. “Hello nurse;is that Sapphire?” I thought as I walked in the woman wore jean shorts cut low enough to see more than the asking price. She also wore a tube top that was straining to stay on. “Hey is that you, Sue-Ellen?” I wondered aloud.

She turned to face me and dripped pancake batter down her cleavage. “Oh, darn it; now look I’m filthy.” She said in a whiny voice.

I have nothing to add to that but I’m not that much of a pig. She seemed different but still cute as she went back to cooking. I went looking around for Terry and found him in the living room watching a movie in surround sound. As soon as I walked in a loud explosion made my teeth jump out of my head. “Turn that down, or I’m cutting it off.” I said as my ears popped. Before I could sit down to breakfast I spied my mom’s proposal. “She was having an important meeting, I’ll just run it to her, it isn’t that far.” I said picking up the papers and packing them; snagging my jacket as I ran out the door.

This is where my life really starts. It all started on this Monday, god do I hate Mondays, it was raining and there seemed like there was no hope of my birthday party Friday. I was running up to my parents’ place of work with some paper work they left at the kitchen table. “I wish this rain would let up, I’m not a fish and never do I want to be.” I said slipping in a puddle. I went flying as did my umbrella; the umbrella fell into an open man hole with a splash. I had made sure to keep the papers under my jacket, in a waterproof case. I ran the rest of the way and into my parents’ office building; I’ve been here several times before so I know my way around. The secretary at the front desk handed me a towel and shook her head. “Thank you Doris.” I said drying out my long whitish-blue hair. She pointed to an elevator.

“Your mother is waiting for you, she is on the twenty-second floor." Doris said going back to her work.

I ran into the elevator and pressed the button for my floor, a girl about my age with emerald green hair and eyes to match dove in just as the doors closed. A man in a black hooded cover coat didn’t make it in time. “What floor are you heading to?” I asked as I examined her.

She was about an inch taller than me, making her about 5’ 9” and her heavy over coat hid more but I really didn’t want to go there. Her soft features suggested that she wasn’t used to being worried but her eyes screamed fear. She shook her head, more precisely her whole body shook. “I’m going to the twenty-second floor.” She said so softly it could have been drowned out by a falling pin.

A ping sound signaled that the doors were going to open, but when they did the man who had missed the elevator was standing at the end of the hall his piercing gaze made me see my own birth, life, and death all at the same time. The fright would have turned my hair white if it wasn’t already there.

“He is after me, he wants my treasure.” She squeaked. She seemed so helpless it was kinda cute.

I frowned and wanted to just throw her to him. “What the hell is this a bad anime plot?” I yelled to the guy down the hall.

He got in the stance of a baseball pitcher and followed through. The air seemed to warp as an invisible force headed for the girl. Without thinking I stepped the path an took the full impact of the attack. I was blown back into the girl’s arms and felt her hold tight I could feel my ribs shift as they got damaged. “

Listen, I want you to fly; I don’t care if it sounds strange, just do it.” She whispered in my ear. Her words strange but her voice almost got me to try it, the shock of my dream caught up with me at that point.

The man saw his attack had wounded me and pulled back for another one. I took off running down the hall, shaking my head. “Little lady I don’t know what your on but after this is over, I want to join you.” I said looking at her soft and calm expression.

The man followed lobbing more blast at us, destroying walls and breaking desk. No one else seemed to see this as the man just floated after us. We grabbed the corner of a cubicle as we turned down the hall and exploded into my Mother’s board meeting; but in a snap he was gone. I was breathing hard as I handed the papers to my mother.

“I’m sorry, I made you come out in this weather, you’re already sick as a dog when we left you.” Mom said running her fingers through my hair. The board members all covered their faces like I had the plague.

“I guess being old means you have to be scared of the common cold.” I mumbled. Mom gave me a sharp rap on the head and looked at the girl who was still on my back.

“Who is this?” She asked pointing to the girl. I shrugged and started to leave as the board members wanted to get the meeting back on track. My mother waved good bye before quickly going to her proposal.

I ran all the way back to the elevator not wanting to meet up with Mr. power attack, I changed course and took the stairs. I knew that since it was Monday the stairs were being waxed and took advantage of this by kicking my shoes into my hands and sliding down to the bottom floor. The girl on my back didn’t think it was as fun as I did and passed out half way through. I slowed down, kicked my shoes on, and walked back home keeping the girl covered up as rain drops were still falling.

“Who are you? Are you here to take me from this dull life?” I said jokingly. Suddenly I remembered the girl from my dream again. “Nah, that’s just coincidence.” I thought aloud.

We entered my home and I for one was glad to be out of the rain. I placed sleeping beauty on my bed and admired her from across the room as I relaxed on a bean bag chair. As I gazed at her the curiosity of what she was wearing under the coat was beginning to cut into my very thin patience. “She’ll either kill me or want me to sleep with her after this, if my assumption is right about this being a bad plot.” I said as I loosened button after button.

I opened the coat and two large white wings slapped me across the face and wrapped around her body. “I didn’t see that coming but it wasn’t really on the list.” I mumbled rubbing my jaw.

She sat up and shrieked like she was scared by the horrors contained in her mind, maybe who knows. “Hello, I’m Kale but the Knights of Aura call me Cobalt.” I said properly introducing myself. “And who might you be?” She looked around trying to recognize where she was.

“I’m Serene, and I’m here to ask you to guard the treasure of Aura; are we in your fortitude?” She said stepping off the bed. Her wings still covered her body which was all well and good because my eyes didn’t need to see what she had.

I gave a nod to her question. “Yeah, this is my house; do you want to borrow some clothes?” I asked, only so I could stop thinking about naked angel flesh. She spread her wings and I turned my back, and came face to chest with a teenage girl.

“Sapphire, please tell me that’s you.” I begged.

The young woman pushed my head back and thumped me in the eye. “Yeah and you’re lucky angel girl there is wearing clothes or I’d have to pound you for trying to de-clothe an angel.” Sue-Ellen said thumping me again.

Terry walked into the room holding a beer in one hand and a sandwich in the other. He and Sue-Ellen were looking in awe at the angel girl who was wearing my favorite jersey when I turned around. “Hey, that’s mine, and wait a minute this is getting to be familiar.” I said wanting to be sure I wasn’t crazy.

At the moment Sapphire was in an outfit made of nothing but blue belts, zippers, andsome fabric. Crimson had objected to Sue-Ellen designing the team uniform but we had a vote and some how it came out three to two, but there are only three of us.

Crimsonand Sue were both taller than me, they pride their selves on looking better in uniforms than I do. “Cobalt, get in uniform, we have to give princess Emerald a proper greeting.” Crimson said tossing me my newly made uniform.

It was like Sue’s but in white, I hate being the wind. “I’m not changing with all of you in here.” I said pushing the trio from my room. I got dressed as quickly as I possibly could, but come on; it’s made of nothing but zippers, belts, and some fabric; so it took a while.

“Okay, I’m dressed!” I yelled as I pulled up the last zipper. They all piled into the room and shut the door behind them.

Sapphire walked around looking at me making sure all the zippers were zipped and belts buckled. “Your fly’s open.” Terry said nonchalantly.

I looked around at each zipper and then slapped myself in the fore head. “Jerk, that wasn’t funny.” I said when I realized he was kidding. He was dressed in his uniform and didn’t look happy. I sat down and blew my nose in a tissue. “Hey, why are we in uniform?” I asked as I still felt sick.

Emerald sat on my lap facing me. “Because, I have a gift for the knights of Aura.” Explained the princess. I kept my hands at my side as Sapphire and Crimson’s eyes bore into me. The princess smelled like a sweet rose as she got closer and closer. She pressed her lips to mine and a bright light lit up under her shirt.

A white crystal leapt from under her shirt and onto my chest, where it sank in. “Where did it go? What the heck is it?” I asked as I patted my chest. Two more crystals activated and crawled from under Emerald’s shirt and dove into my friends’ chest.

“Now where is the fourth? She needs hers before we can defeat the shadows over Magia.” Wondered the princess as she got off my lap. I placed a pillow over my lap as my pale skin blazed red.

“What the hell was all that? She kissed me and my little guy stood tall.” I thought as I watched as Terry and Emerald conversed Sapphire grinned as she saw me cover up.

“Awe, isn’t that sweet; you got a hard on from the little princess.” She said loud enough for Terry to hear.

He walked over and pulled the pillow from my lap. “And it’s a nice one too.” He said sitting on my lap. I freaked out a little at this moment because I hate awkward moments where things change. Terry pressed his lips to mine and I was surprised as I didn’t move back. My body reacted on its own, as my hands slid up his back and unzipped his uniform.

As it slid down Terry’s face had a slight red glow. “I’ve never been this close to Crimson; so why now?” I pondered to myselfI didn’t think about it long because when his shirt came off, I saw his chest was bandaged up. “What the heck is going on?” I asked slightly confused. He undid the bandages and revealed a pair of small breast. This was the last freak out I had in me today, I passed out and fell to the floor.

When I came to Sapphire was dabbing a damp cloth to my forehead. “Hey is Terry around? I want to apologize.” I said groggily. I sat up and saw Terry was facing a corner and the aura she was putting off was so intense I thought I’d suffocate if I was to get any closer. “I’m sorry Crimson, you for one know achoo that I over react to these things and plus achoo I’m still sick.” I said working my way to the true problem, “I always wanted to ask you out but I felt that you would think I was afaggit or something.”

Terry shot back a glare before standing up. I knew we were back on good terms but she would have to salvage her feelings before she’d actually admit it.

“I know who the fourth is, I saw her in my dream.” I said holding my head, “But you guys aren’t going to like who it is.” I didn’t want to say it but my fever was returning and I was getting dizzy. Sapphire and Crimson helped me from the bed and out the door.

Emerald pulled on a pair of jeans that she had “borrowed” from my dresser. “I wonder if it would be a crime for me to get into my own jeans.” I said with a laugh. My friends looked like they were physically hurt by my bad joke so I decided to think before I joke, sometimes.

Terry picked me up on her back and carried me outside but before we could get anywhere a car pulled up and our teacher stepped out in the yellow version of our uniform.

“Hey Cobalt, next time contact me while I’m not in the tub.” Said Ms. Canary. Everyone looked at me because I didn’t make a stupid remark, or say anything period. I had started to feel the affects of over working my body. “We have to start the ceremony soon or we could lose him to the darkness.” Ms. Canary said helping everyone take me into the living room.

I had no clue what she meant, but we followed her to the living room. Terry and Sue-Ellen moved the furniture and began drawing a magic circle. They motioned for me to stand on a symbol that read “wind” in another language, one I’d never seen before; I couldn’t tread on any of the others so I stood where I was supposed to without question.

“I, Crimson of the fire that burns within, ask for safe passage to the realm of Magia.” Terry said as the ground around her began to scorch from the intense heat of her body. A bright light flashed and she was gone, but before she had disappeared I had seen a angel with dark brown hair taking hold of her.

“What the…” I started but was stopped when Emerald slapped her hand over my mouth. I looked over at Sue-Ellen, she was mumbling something I couldn’t understand.

“I, Sapphire of the ocean that spans the distance, ask for safe passage into the realm of Magia.” She said with such wisdom like she had taken on the personality of a tigress. She to disappeared as water swirled like a typhoon around her.

Ms. Canary smiled at me and that smile made me feel a little better. She placed her hands to the floor and began her incantation. “I, Canary of the earth that is the pillar of life, ask for safe passage into the realm of Magia.” She said as a column of earth swallowed her. Yet again I saw an angel, why are we being abducted by winged myths? I don’t know but it was my turn. I didn’t know what to say, but then the words floated in front of me.

“I, Cobalt of the winds that turn the tide, and quiets the flames, and moves the earth, ask for safe passage to the realm of my birth.” As those words escaped my lips and I felt a sharp pain in my back, like Emerald was trying to dig out my spine. This pain was so intense I passed out from it, when I came to I was on the ground face down in grass.

My body felt heavy the weight of the world was on my back, no wait it was actually Emerald who was still dressed in my jersey. “Terry? Sue-Ellen? Ms. Canary!” I said as I stood up with angel girl in my arms. Three figures in our uniform held out their hands to me. They wore my friends’ clothes but they didn’t look like my friends, They had pointed ears and looked like children but I was my normal height.

“I think we got the wrong kid he doesn’t recognize us.” The little person in red said drawing a pair of boomerangs from the holster on his back. The other one in blue gave a nod and brandished a whip that appeared to be made of water. The last one pulled out a bow and arrow, the arrows were tipped with odd colored rock heads.

I froze, the fear of my friends disappearing vanished as they jumped to the side and took Emerald from my arms. “Huh? Hey, where are my friends!” I yelled as they took off running. They were out of sight in seconds, my speed was nothing compared to theirs. I still started to walk in their direction but it felt heavy, like an unneeded weight was on my side. I looked down at my side and a long eastern style blade was at my hip. “Okay, now we get to the part of the storyline where the hero gets his weapon of ultimate power.” I said tugging at the blade, it didn’t budge on bit. I took shelter under a large tree which felt familiar for some reason.

“I’m sorry you are lost but please leave me alone.” A female voice said close by. My instincts told me to draw my sword but it still wouldn’t be wielded. I stole a glance around the trees thick base and saw what appeared to be a boar mixed with a frog. I saw another young female who looked like she was part butterfly, trying to fly away but was caught by the beast’s sticky tongue. I made a decision right then and there; I was going to protect her from that horror movie reject.

“I won’t allow you to harm that woman, boarog.” I said dashing toward the girl. I ran up the side of the tree and snatched the female from the gooey appendage. The boarog beast drew back into the baseball player stance from the guy before. I sat the girl on the ground and then a bright light flared from the useless sword. I took hold and knew what I had to do; I had to take him down.

I pulled the sword from the sheath, and saw the blade wasn’t a regular sword but a sakaba tou; a sword with the blade on the back end, so the forward side can’t cut. The light from my new weapon dispelled the invisible force as I made a mad dash for the creature and with the speed of a jungle cat; the blunt sword broke the bones in its knees making it fall to his knees. “I guess my line here is: I will no longer kill for peace as that will make me into my enemy.” I said thinking this was all a dream. I turned to help the girl and she was gone, the only thing left was the goop that had surrounded her.

I suddenly remembered the creature had been part frog when a sticky tongue wrapped around my body. The grip was suffocating as my ribs were still in pain from my last attempt at being a hero. “I wish I knew how to get out of this dream because I’m sick, my ribs hurt and you smell like a rhino’s butt.” I said as it pulled me into its massive mouth. I passed out from the smell and that’s when I realized it wasn’t a dream.

When I came to the Sapphire was standing over me, I saw a roof and felt I was wrapped in a warm blanket. “Where am I and how the heck did I get out of the boarog?” I asked feeling my chest was no longer in pain. The Sapphire slapped my leg and motioned for me to get out of the bed. I shook me head and flipped the one finger salute. “Hell no, not until you give me the high sign, so I know you are really Sapphire.” I snapped at her.

She took hold of one of her zippers and rolled her eyes. “Fine Kale, but I’m kicking your a** for this later.” She said pulling the zipper down and flashing her chest to me. I really always wanted her to do that; I could tell it was her when she threatened me. I got out of the bed and quickly followed like a new puppy.

She led me into a room with low lighting and a crystal floating in the middle. “Well you finally got here, what took you fearless leader?” Asked my teacher. She was back to normal and so was Terry. Sapphire yawned and tried to talk but it was too hard to understand.

“Please repeat that, I don’t understand sleepy.” I said with a smile. I was feeling great, I didn’t realize it but after coming through the magic gate the illness I had had faded. Sapphire growled and picked me up by my shirt.

“Where is the princess?” She screamed, “And why did you end up outside the castle walls?” I was afraid to tell her what had happened.

“Serene is right here; I had the royal guard pick them up.” A man in a green version of our uniform said as he walked in. “I didn’t think our lead knight was up to the challenge.” He too had hair and eyes that matched his clothing.

I thought he looked familiar but it was probably just me. He ran his fingers through my hair and laughed. “So little brother, are all your memories back yet?” He asked directed at me. I looked up at him and saw a resemblance, our facial indentions, the same stupid grin and even the same look of annoyance when you know someone is looking at you without talking.

“No, I didn’t even recognize the guards, or you for that matter.” I said with a sigh.

A small girl in gold and a small boy in silver burst into the room, glomped me and held me tightly in a hug. “Master we missed you, I’ve wanted to see you but mean old Grave said ‘No way in hell, not until we need him’.” The girl in gold said impersonating the man in green.

The boy in silver didn’t say anything but I could tell he was happy to see me but looking into his eyes. The girl stood at least 4’ 11” but she wore our uniform with a golden witch’s hat, while the boy, who stood the same height, had his face covered with a mask and his head covered with a hood.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know who you are; I’m not even sure if I will.” I explained to them. The two children looked like they were going to cry but held back when my “brother” cleared his throat.

“I am Grave of the crushing sound, this is Goldine of the cleansing light and Titan of the crystal snow; and you know Crimson of the fire that burns within, Sapphire of the ocean that spans the distance and last but not least, Canary of the earth that is the pillar of life.” Grave said introducing the lead knights.

I felt I knew all of them but I knew I just met them. I sat down holding myself as I felt I’d gone insane. “Why am I here? What did you bring me to this place for?” I yelled at them.

The crystal that hung in the room pulsed and the wave made my head feel I’d been cracked over the head with a lead pipe. “You are here because the knights need all of you to win against the darkness, but you were a coward and fled to the human realm we sent Crimson and Sapphire to bring you back!” Exclaimed the crystal; “You wiped your own memories and tried to hide from us but without your powers you couldn’t hide for very long.”

The images of good times and hard battles flooded into my head but didn’t stick. I looked up at the others and I knew that I was their leader. “Even without my memories I will still lead you, only because after the darkness is gone I will be able to marry Princess Emerald.” I said proudly. Everyone looked at me like I was sick in the head. Sapphire and Terry started to laugh. “What’s so funny? Is my fly open?” I asked looking at my uniform.

Grave walked me to the other side of the crystal and pointed at a large family tree. I found her name almost instantly; it was right beside Grave’s. My face went as red as a beet. “How was I supposed to know? I don’t remember anything.” I said with a huff.

Everyone seemed like they were ready to ask me a million questions but I wasn’t ready to answer. “Before anyone asks me anything; no the human realm isn’t a good vacation spot, no I didn’t bring any souvenirs, and no I don’t want to hug a monkey.” I said looking at the group.
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2007 1:36 pm


It’s a good first draft.
I'll try and be constructive but grammar and spellings not my forte, so I can’t help there but is seems like there aren’t any spelling errors. The only thing I can spot is there are one or two instances where you have missed the spaces between words.
Quick solution (that you may already know and use I don’t know)
Just copy and past the text straight from the post into word the run spell check. It should flag these up then you can copy it back into the edit post with a minimum effort.
This is not meant in mean spirit it’s just a first reading impression but the flow isn’t quite right. Though it is written in the first person try not to start so many sentences with I and it might improve the flow a bit.
I like the behavioral and personality quirks you’ve slotted into the characters personalities, I get the impression that you’ve put a lot of thought into who these people are.
That’s all I can think of blaugh

tatterkin

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