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Reserved

a few years ago i realized that i was bisexual and had the hardest time keeping it from my mom. She comes from a very close-minded family, and was worried that she would disown me or something when i told her. I knew for a fact that she wasn't like my grandparents, which i will get to later, but the following conversation had a negative outcome on my part:

Mom:-to bf of hers- You know I don't mind gay people, as long as i don't see it.
Tom: Yea, i know what you mean
Mom: it just isn't anything i want to see...I mean, I don't understand why they have to be so flambouyant about it...

Me: -starts crying, and luckily is wearing sunglasses- Ow...-eyes start to burn-
Sister:- looks at me - You okay? -knows im bi and heard the conversation-
Me: -feels something leaking from her knows and thinks it's snot- Yea...- notices that it isn't a runny nose, but a BLOODY nose- crap...


A few months later, i was able to come out to her, and was, surprisingly enough, accepted by her. I'm pretty sure she had a pretty good idea that i was bi, seeing as how i have a HUGE obsession with Amy Lee of Evanescence...just look at my myspace Mine and you can see .

also, keep this in mind, i am pagan, and the rest of my family is christian, mormon, or catholic. a large majority of them already know that im not an x-tian, but im pretty sure their in denial, thinking i went back to that ("It's just a phase" qouteth my papa ... yea...i five year phase...huh...). So im already the blacksheep in my family. I also dress soley in black, with acceptions of forest green and sometimes a white tee, have a lip ring, etc.

So now the only people in my family who know that im not straight are everyone but my sister and my mom, and maybe my aunt since she has a myspace as well, but she hasn't mentioned it so i don't know...hmmm...

anyway, my new years resolution for this year is to come out to the rest of my family, but the only problems are the following conversations that i overheard

Thanksgiving:
Grandma: -watching television with her brother, john, when the topic of homosexuality came up- ...I wish that they would just stay in the closet, it isn't anything that i want to see...
John: your right...but luckily their going to burn in hell for eternity anyway, so lets just let them have their little "pride"


A few months before thanksgiving:
Me and my papa were in his truck, getting ready to go to starbucks when an Elton John song came on. My papa turned off the radio and said, "I really don't like listening to gay people sing.

My sister and grandma in the store:
My grandma spots the people magazine that had Lance Bass coming out, to those who didn't know...I mean for the love of god, who DIDN'T know?!?!?!
my grandma's reaction? "Well thats too bad..." needless to say my sister was disgusted...she's like a straight version of me and absolutely loves gay people.