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 Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 10:42 am
Or at least, that's what Ro's Parents are convinced of. Ro and I are trying to make our Wedding a Celebration, something that people can enjoy and look back at with fond memories(Especially Ro and I).
Her parents, however, want us to neglect everything of enjoyment, no dancing, no music, we are to stand in a "Recieving Line" for thre hours straight, and we can't wear anything but white. The Ceremony is apparently not for us at all, but just for our Family. Not to mention, they've pissed on any mention of my families tradition so far, such as teh Father giving the Bride away, I don't even want to hear their reaction to a candle-lighting ceremony.
So, I was wondering, is there any scriptural backing stating that the Union of a Man and a Woman is a blessed and, I dunno, "Joyous" maybe, if I might be so cavlier?
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Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 11:00 am
Actually it's the reception that isn't for us.
Basically, my wish to have a fun reception where I have a good time, and get to hang out w/ my friends, is a selfish want. They want a reception where their friends will feel welcome. I want a reception where my friends feel welcome.
I think the big thing is, we really have different concepts of what the wedding is actually about. And there's no way that we will ever agree.
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Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 11:14 am
Don't you wanna come with me? Don't you wanna feel my bones on your bones?
It's only natural.
Your wedding isn't about your parents OR your family. It's about YOU. What YOU want to do, you should do it. It's YOUR day, so what you say goes. I would be so pissed if anyone but my ((future)) fiance and I decided on our wedding and what went on. It sounds like your parents are way too controlling or afraid of change. That's not cool. >_<''
Don't you wanna swim with me? Don't you wanna feel my skin on your skin?
It's only natural.
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Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 11:30 am
Ouch gonk sorry, I don't have any helpful scriptures, but you have my sympathy.
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Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 10:03 pm
My theory is...that someone's parents had family that royally screwed their day so they are living vicariously through their children. But they fail to realize it is not their wedding but yours. I'd respectfully point that out and if they fail to see reason humbly give back any monetary contributions they have made to the cause since they don't want to follow your vision for this day then you need to be willing to foot the bill entirely. However, explain that they are more than welcome and most definately wanted to participate, just in a way that you will be able to look back on with joy and happiness instead of dread and ill will. As for scripture...hmm...off the top of my head...I'm finding he who finds a wife finds a good thing. The wedding at Cana miracle was just to keep the party going lol. The whole leave and cleave part "a man shall leave his mother and his father and cleave to his wife". They need to understand that the wedding is part of that transition and that they need to empower the husband to be to actually cleave to his wife instead of pitting them against each other's family. Let me look up some of this. I'm sure there has to be something.
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Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 5:45 am
hang in there guys and stick to doing what you want to do. My family tried to do something similar. The whole process was a pain. If all else fails just remember the end result of being with each other in a holy union and how thats osmething that no one can take. I'd post more but I am feeling a bit ill. You are both in my prayers.
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 10:31 am
hey, an update on situations.
My Parents will be up in the area on Tuesday, so we'll be having dinner with them and da Nekoros parents. This way I can have backup to defend my beliefs and tradition, and not worry about getting them dismissed automatically.
That is, assuming we don't elope by then. Everything I know about treating women, I learned from my father. how he treats my mother, how he holds her, everything. I learned that tickling is far from Sin, as well. I would have thought, since I see many people tickling each other in Ro's Family, they wouldn't find it sin, either.
I was tickling da Nekoro Yesterday. Da Nekoro's Dad told her that he thinks I'm abusive because of it.
WTF!?
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 10:46 am
Lolz. Tickling totally is abuse.
Slapping people with paddles is not--I'm sure my woman can testify.
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 12:09 pm
Oh, about the tickling thing. Tickling is okay as long as I'm not doing it to Lexie, and as long as Mom decides its funny. Once she decides it's not any more, then I'm taking the joke too far. The same goes for everything. Hitting, playful put-downs, throwing socks, anything at all like this is funny until Mom decides it's not any more.
As for the rest......Eloping sounds good.....
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 12:10 pm
another update, her parents have decided that 8 is too late to have dinner, so they're vetoeing it, and demanding dessert, instead.
...
We planned this out two weeks ago. there was no problem then. now there is. Her father's diabetic, and waiting teh extra two hours might put his blood-sugar at risk. My Mother and I are Hypo-Glycemic, and we wont have a problem, seeing as we understand teh use of things like the all-mighty Bagel, and other such items. Plus my father is on a strict diet, and cannot have just any dessert, he'd have to sit aside and watch us but not partake.
AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:14 pm
idea Quick Fact: Tickling is actually a form of torture.
Yep, it's true.
But... that probably doesn't help you much, huh?
Sorry I can't help you; not really. I mean, I'm not even sure my parents will be alive for my wedding, nor can I say I really want my dad to be there. I mean, I love my family, but... something leave unforgiving scars.
But, just as they've all said, follow your own hearts, not theirs. You only get to do this once (at least, we hope!). heart
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Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 4:33 pm
i like burnination Se Ga Takai I know, I'm sorry, it's just that I'm in a Sarcastic Mood today. Even moreso now, da Nekoro's Grandparents suggested that my Brother was "Out of the Plans" of our marriage. He was going to do the Original Ceremony, and then Ro's Bishop was going to do one for her Family(as they wouldn't accept a non-Mormon doing a religious service). We found out that teh Bishop is not allowed to do a Marriage for a couple that has already been recently Married(Don't people ever renew their Vows?!), so we pushed 'Our' Ceremony until after the Mormon ceremony, to appease teh relatives. I guess they forgot teh fact that he will be the GodFather of our Children, and my Best Man... stare gah, that sucks. i hope my bride's parents will be good, because i know my parents will be like "it's your wedding, we stay out of it." i guess to say that your patience is being tried is an understatement. when is the wedding supposed to be? My Parents carry teh same Ideal. They are entirely supportive of every decision we've made thus far, from teh black and red dress to the Vegas Honeymoon(though they had a few suggestions about that). And the Wedding is late in May, I think the 28th, but I'm not sure. We have to build it around when Ro's little brother graduates, and all teh family is going to be in the area(so there will be no multiple trips out).
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Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 1:43 pm
tickiling?......excuse my words but what the HELL are you people talking about? and where the HECK did people get the idea that its a sin? O_o that doesnt make a lick of sense to me.
first off, if you really want to stretch that far in technicality, its only a sin if you use it in a way that would make it almost a sin. for instance, if someone doesnt like to be tickled and you keep tickling them to the point of them becoming mad or actually get physically hurt by you're tickling THEN i could see a problem arising. because not everyone likes to be tickled. but if you tickle for the means of eloping or having a little fun theres nothing wrong with that.
second off....as was already said this is YOU and YOUR FIANCE'S day. not you're dad....not you're uncle's....not you're grandmother's...not ANYONE elses day. how the wedding is going to be done is by YOU and YOUR FIANCE alone. this is a memorable day that will only be done once in you're lifetime with the person you chose, so it should be the way you WANT to remember it.
i dont know about it, but its EASY for me to dismiss the audacity and stupidity of others when its not their choice in the first place. especially when it comes to relatives. now i dont mean this in a rebelious way. it just depends on the situation. in this case, from what you've said it seems they want to control it THEIR way....COMPLETELY out of the quesiton. i hate it when people try to force their way upon others.
but the ceremony/wedding is mainly for you guys but its for EVERYONE as well. i mean if people are going to attend then yeah, its partially going to be for them as well. and the whole advice about how marriage has nothing to do with enjoyment is utter crap. marriage is a final confirmation of the commitment of LOVE between you and you're wife to be. it is a symbol of two people becoming one and that you and you're wife to be, will be husband and wife. and nothing else matters. it is also a symbol of love, a symbol of commitment, and reminder and symbol that you are going to spend the rest of you're life WITH the person you trully love and maybe one day have kids.
but even if i did give you scriptures, it seems like the parents are very set on their opinions and it doesnt matter what you tell them, its not going to change anything. if you THINK it might change their opinions then i will post some scripture.
other than that, congratulations and i wish you the best of life.
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:56 pm
I'm trying to find them, but I know there are several marraige ceremonies mentioned in the bible. Try hunting through the old testament... around the time of Jacob and that group. The founding fathers. Also, I'm sure that marraige is mentioned around psalms and you might be able to find a good verse in Song of Solomon.
Ack, it's 3 am... so tired... @_@
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Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 12:39 am
The wedding should be a joyous ocasion for you and the reception a celibration of the union that you shair as a new husband and wife. The parients should realize that it's for you and not for them. The timming everything should be on your turms and not on whatever your family wants the wedding to be like. What ever makes you two happy is what's important not what makes everyone elce happy think about that when you make your final plans for the wedding and I wish you the best of luck for you wedding and life together.
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