Welcome to Gaia! ::

*approaches the stage and checks the mic*

what up America!? I'm gonna try to be as blunt as humanly possible.

I'm NOT a polotician! I'm not some lying son of a b***h who'll lie through his teeth about all sorts of promises, I'm not gonna make any promises I cant keep!

mothers, fathers, grandparents, legal guardians, I know you cant stand even the thought of a couple soldiers comming to your door and saying someone near and dear to you has died in action, and hands you a folded up flag as if offering you a giant tissue, you wanna see your loved ones come home with a trophy! a big fat one made of solic gold so big you could shove it up an elephants a** and kill the b***h!

I'm proposing the new plan for American reform! the latest thing that will minimize human casualties! make military service a thing of the distant past! a deal of sportsmanship!

as a human being, I understand that taking a human life regardless of reason is immoral! it ruins someones life and the deceased person's plans for the future! so I plan to open up talks with the rest of the world to have all disputes that are international be settled with video games! you know why I want it settled in video games? because it's to prevent needless casualties! no longer will the people be oppressed by a bloodthirsty military force! the military tech will go to the cops! the men and women who everyday put their lives on the line to protect the common man woman and child regardless of age!

I'm a gamer, I wont hide it! I have no criminal record! I am not gonna make you belive me to be the pope or the next comming of Jesus, I'm not like that! I'm not gonna lie like my opponent or opponents! I wont play head games! I'm gonna tell you how it is! this world needs America to fix itself up! English is a required course! you wanna keep your heritage then you use it at home! on the AMERICAN streets you speak ENGLISH! A language barrier is NOT a disability! I'm autistic! I KNOW WHAT DISABLED IS! when you're disabled you dont know how bad it can get, or if it'll degenerate! my memory is pretty bad so you know what I'll be like! "where'd I put my shoes? where's my jacket? where the ******** are my gloves?!" but thats okay! I'm just a normal guy like the rest of you!

the deal is this! you sick of poloticians lying to you? I am too! you sick of getting the s**t end of the stick when you lost your job because you got crippled? you sick of people playin the race card? I'M SICK OF ALL THAT BULLSHIT! as your leader, as your American president I'll fight FOR YOU! the pay congress gets cold go to paying for everyone's World of Warcraft subscriptions! the senate's pay could be worth much more going to reducing the price of technology! the price of gas needs to be cut DEEP! and LOCKED! no more rising gas prices! the money they make on your labor to fuel your car goes into their cheap bribes! Bush has tubs of oil he doesnt wanna part with! you know what bush? DEAL WITH IT! if it can be used as fuel then IT'S GONNA GET USED!

fuels like water, peanut oil, PISS! HUMAN PISS! if it can be used as fuel it WILL get used! you wanna make a car that runs on peanut oil, good! you can make a profit from the patent! you wanna make a engine that turns water into fuel? GOOD! you can make a profit! you wanna try some herbal remedies like Matsutake mushrooms imported ALL THE WAY FROM JAPAN! BOOM! improve trade to Japan even more! I'm sick of rising gas prices and the few who have money running the show! you wanna see someone run the show who knows what the hell he's gonna be doing then vote me in! Vote me as PRESIDENT!

gamers raise your thumbs and be proud! yell that you are gamers! this country, the majority of the populace lines up for video games! if it werent for gamers, we'd have a lot more war! gamers are smart! gamers know how conflicts need to be resolved! through sportsmanly competitions where nobody dies! parents wanna see their kids come home accomplished! they wanna see their kids as celebrated heroes who didnt have to kill to prove a point! murder has no point! you kill someone thats unforgivable! you beat someone in a video game it's a casual thing! gamers know how to settle problems! I'm a gamer and proud of it!

who wants to vote me!?

thats my platform! the people dont wanna die, the people want to live in peace, the people want fairness! the nation needs a leader who is gonna set things right. the government doesnt know how to run things! the disabled cant work, and cant put cash into a fund, so the disabled need that money! axe welfare! the language barrier is abused! ta hell with war because war is hell anyways! you go to war you're a wreck! you come back from war you're even worse off! you get trained needlessly to kill without hesitation! you get suckered by the hype! it's false advertising! "do something great"? PLAY VIDEO GAMES! your parents may not be proud! but I sure as hell am! you got a gamer proud of you for picking up that controller and playing to the end! thats good enough!

I know you're sick of getting the s**t end! the poloticians and the rich deserve the s**t end! one nation under god! not above Mexico and under Canada! we're a nation under god! you see the buildings there's religious refrence before we put god in the pladge! you dont like it? TOUGH s**t! I'm an American dammit!

If I were American... Id probably still not vote for you.

Hey, Im 16, I cant vote, sheesh stare not my fault.


But hey, heres my estimation on the polls: every male between the ages of *voting age* and 32, they vote for you, and a fair amount of the women that age.

Then theres the old people... thats where your polls go waaaayy down *airplane crashing sounds*

well it's where I'd bring up to a grandparent personally that they dont want to see someone hand them a flag and say their grandchild was slain in a pointless and unessecary war for oil. I'd say to these people that war is over, and peace is to reign.

I'd also tell the senior citizens how my grandfather and I both spell polotician; C-R-O-O-K. and tell them I'm no polotician, I'm just a regular guy like everyone I'm talkin too, and get the votes quick.

you see, I know that most people online are young individuals, my mother is quickly turning into a gamer, which is damn good.

so gamers in their 40's will vote, and the gamer population is repidly growing even into senior citizens. ^_^

by playing on sympathy and intellectual standpoints, and my plans t eliminate corruption from the government, saying my first goal is to eliminate the unessecary corruption(which is my agenda anyways to begin with), people are sure to vote for me.

and if I didnt get it all done the first term, I'll ask to be voted in a second term and using the same promises, saying I'll kick it into high gear to crush my foes who are the foes of the people.

in fact, the people made the USA, not corrupt poloticians! not congress! not an organized military! THE PEOPLE MADE AMERICA! George Washington, he may have had a military record, but to the people, he was the father of our nation, and one of the people. Abraham Lincoln was one of the people and as president free'd the slaves, Richard Nixon did one good thing while President and that was a price freeze, Ronald Reagan cut taxes making the people have more money! my plan is to eliminate the corruption! eliminating the dark dirty deeds from being preformed, I plan to get rid of the corrupt! I'll kick out everyone in the senate, congress, the house of representatives! and place in new people who have no criminal record, they gotta have a gaming record of being well rounded Nintendo gamers.

open up agreements with othernations to have a competition around every four years to see which country will be called the most powerful of the time. which country will hold the title of "most powerful nation in the world" without needless bloodshed! without unessecary graves! military funding will be cut, political funding will be cut, Welfare can take a "good riddance" kick in the nutts! and Social Security will be only for the disabled and retired who are born American, and speak English! increase social security for senior citizens, and the disabled, only for those who are elderly and/or truely disabled, denying people who cant speak English and/or were not born in the USA. American currency is for Americans! leave it that way!

senior citizens will vote for me when I point out my polocy against gay marrige, my intent is to make a federal ban on gay marrige, make all gay marital unions void, and anyone taking part in a homosexual marital union will be arrested until their abomonation union is voided legally. and provide a legal variant that doesnt compromise religious holy-grounds.

well I say it's not what the people can do for their country now, it's what their country can do for it's people. and I plan to make this country a cleaner safer, and less troubled nation.

my agenda is personally a vendetta against corruption.

wars kill people, you die in war and your plans are over! you die in video games you just train to get better!

eliminate the military power and make the remaining power work for the police.

improve medical research to eliminate diseases and to ban the greedy practices, if marajuana helps with blindness toke it up! if Matsutake mushrooms help you fight cancer eat em up! forign herbal treatments means better international trade.

eliminate corrupt poloticians from power

severely reduce fossil fuel prices.

ban fossil fuels and make water and used peanut oil as the new fuel sources

open peaceful agreements between countries to open up a video game tournament to prohibit wars that have the needless cost of human lives.

remove debts from America and fix it up.

educate job-seeking immigrants into assimilating into American culture by teaching them to speak English and function proporly in their preferred job(fast food worker, police officer, construction worker, interpreter, etc).

sever Puerto Rico from the USA since they only abused welfare by abusing the language barrier excuse which is NOT a disability.

eliminate welfare.

open up social security to only American born citizens who are really disabled and/or retired(meaning you have to be born an American to be applicable to file for social security).

all jobs will require employee's to pay into a pension to retire(all citizens, born or immigrated are applicable for pension fund).

punish greedy executives(so if tech support for a computer company is hireing people in India, that company will face severe legal issues since an American home company must have American employees who know what they're talking about!)

electronics must meet a required quality assurance grade(so it would kill sony entirely).

price freeze EVERYTHING, make the prices stay frozen!

cut taxes! the people have more money, they can spend more money on stuff.

enforce the refrences to god, >80% of Americans belive in god, deal with it.

ban practicing Spanish language in schools, 90% of Americans speak English, you adapt to the majority.

my agenda/vandetta will also employ some assassins as personal bodyguards, so if an assassin is nearby trying to kill me, a number of assassins who are hired as my bodyguards will be able to prevent it easier. I'll even hire ninjas from Japan and China if nessecary. hire cops and detectives from other countries if nessecary during stays/meetings/agreements abroad.

so yeah my lead may seem confusing, and I may be putting a lot on my plate, but I need a vice president who understands my views flawlessly. they say the "normal" people follow the crowd, "Crazy" people lead! look at Dr. King, he led peaceful resistance and equality was assured for the Black community. Abraham Lincoln was tall, hard working, and had his share of mental issues, and he FREED the slaves. Gahndi protested by refusing to eat until peace was made the solution. Buddha sat under a tree and look at him now! he's a religious icon! I'm crazy as it is, so I should lead! I may as well lock myself up in a mental institution and then as soon as I'm old enough to be president(35 last I checked), someone comes in and gets me out saying "welcome to presidency Mr. President".

rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl

just kidding about the mental institution. but I'll tell ya when I'm old enough to be president, I'll need a vice president who was born in the USA, as any candidate for presidency or any political power relating to the president must be born in the USA. so I'm waiting for applications for a vice president if my brother doesnt agree.

send the FBI after him. stealing someones gaming console is a crime that is unforgivable, on the same scale of terrorism! it's not gonna last long once the b*****d is caught!

larceny will not be tolerated! regardless of how small or grand it is! it's punishable with a 20 year prison sentence!

hay I'm defently would vote for you, all mighty ruler. 4laugh
Thay and I would help with the cabenit work to.