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 Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 9:27 am
Please put all prayer requests here to eliminate the multiple threads on the subject. Thanks everybody!
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:03 pm
i cut myself. and i took like, 5,000 mg of tylenol the other night. and I dont really care. but i know that i otta. i just get confused as to why i think its wrong, neways. if I were in a society that embraced such behavior, i wouldnt think there was anything wrong with me. So i dunno.
and i think....i have been trying to get better, been going to church, but...i've never done the pills before... and its like i dont care as much, am not so passionate about stopping... so...
well, I guess that only makes sense, as demons really really really dont want me to get better, im sure...and so they try to create apathy in me to keep me stagnant, and different kinds of temptation...
I guess I just need to regain passion, regain sight for some things... I dunno. IO know I souldnt feel like its ok for me to do some things..
oh, and pray for my friend shaun.. he just tried to kill himself. he was in a mental hospital for six days...crap...
thanx.
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Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 7:41 am
seacret_cie i cut myself. and i took like, 5,000 mg of tylenol the other night. and I dont really care. but i know that i otta. i just get confused as to why i think its wrong, neways. if I were in a society that embraced such behavior, i wouldnt think there was anything wrong with me. Sweetheart, if society embraced such behavior, that wouldn't make it right, it would only make it socially acceptable. I can tell you why it's wrong. First of all, by taking your own life, you are telling God that you have no regard for the life he gave you. You are telling him that you know better than he does when you should die. You are telling him that his grace is not enough for you. Remember, God lives in you. Your heart is his home. That is why we should take care of ourselves. But even outside of religion this sort of thing is wrong. Think of all the people who would miss you. I know that at least the people in this guild would miss you. Think of what it would do to your other friend who is depressed. It's not hurting only yourself when you do those things. It hurts everyone who knows you, and maybe even people who don't. I'll pray for you, sweetheart, and if you need someone to talk to, just PM me. *hugs*
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 9:29 am
seacret_cie i cut myself. and i took like, 5,000 mg of tylenol the other night. and I dont really care. but i know that i otta. i just get confused as to why i think its wrong, neways. if I were in a society that embraced such behavior, i wouldnt think there was anything wrong with me. So i dunno.
Dont hurt yourself, you aren't junk. God doesn't create junk. Hurting yourself wont relieve all the pain, trust me I've already been through it. All hurting yourself does is just take your attention away from the emotional pain for a short period of time, but that emotional pain it just going to come back. Suiside is the easy way out of life, suiside is for cowards.
Jesus had a more painful life then us. Jesus was beaten and hung on the cross till he died just because he believed. Jesus was perfect, and did nothing wrong, yet he still was forsaken and killed. Quote: and i think....i have been trying to get better, been going to church, but...i've never done the pills before... and its like i dont care as much, am not so passionate about stopping... so... well, I guess that only makes sense, as demons really really really dont want me to get better, im sure...and so they try to create apathy in me to keep me stagnant, and different kinds of temptation... I guess I just need to regain passion, regain sight for some things... I dunno. IO know I souldnt feel like its ok for me to do some things.. oh, and pray for my friend shaun.. he just tried to kill himself. he was in a mental hospital for six days...crap... thanx.
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Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 11:21 am
Wow... those two just said the perfect things. Almost made me cry. crying I will pray for you and your friend. 3nodding
I don't really have any prayer requests... maybe for good luck to some of my friends who are going to new schools... and you don't have to pray for me either, but I'm going to a new school and I haven't for years... it's very different from my old one.
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2005 3:17 pm
Erika the Werewolf Wow... those two just said the perfect things. Almost made me cry. crying I will pray for you and your friend. 3nodding I don't really have any prayer requests... maybe for good luck to some of my friends who are going to new schools... and you don't have to pray for me either, but I'm going to a new school and I haven't for years... it's very different from my old one. We will of course pray for you and your friends. And good luck!
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 12:44 pm
Let's pray for flautist, who knows how to get through difficult times but can probably use a little bit of divine help anyway.
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 9:56 pm
my brothers wife is leaving him.
we used to be friends.
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Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:07 pm
This is a pretty basic prayer request I suppose.
I've been doing horrible in math and biology so far this year. I'm not even passing them; I'm failing them very poorly actually. I have exams coming up next week, I just need the strength and determination so that I may do my best. I really need to get my marks up in order to graduate this year. Sometimes I find myself just lacking the will power.
I'd like to ask you to pray for me about this. I really need to pass these exams...
Thank you heart
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Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:18 pm
pale september This is a pretty basic prayer request I suppose.
I've been doing horrible in math and biology so far this year. I'm not even passing them; I'm failing them very poorly actually. I have exams coming up next week, I just need the strength and determination so that I may do my best. I really need to get my marks up in order to graduate this year. Sometimes I find myself just lacking the will power.
I'd like to ask you to pray for me about this. I really need to pass these exams...
Thank you heart I will. And I suck at math and science too. sad
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Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:28 pm
Adjective I will. And I suck at math and science too. sad Yeah. They are annoying subjects.
It's almost as if I can't do good in something unless I am interested in it... sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 3:07 pm
pale september Adjective I will. And I suck at math and science too. sad Yeah. They are annoying subjects.
It's almost as if I can't do good in something unless I am interested in it... sweatdrop It's that way for most people. wink
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 1:38 pm
yeah its me again...
cutting still bugging but its like... something i dont like, dont want anymore..its still a temptation but its like... ugh, revolting in a way
i dunno, i still kinda want to rebel against not comitting suicide for other ppl
*~ to be clear, i never was going to kill myself. ive never let that be an option and i dont ever want to. yes, it buggs, but im centered in that thats something that I DONT want to do~*
even so, i am tired of hearing that i gotta be ok for the other ppl in my life. love for me has been responsibility to another person, purely because of their dependency, and i an really not wanting to do much of ANYTHING for everyone else's interest anymore. kinda tired of it.
not that i dont want to be something good in people's lives, but ive always been restrained and had to put on some sort of face so that my mom doesnt freak out and send me to a mental hospital or something (the reason why there is so mcuh concern for that is that she is manic depressive, like, VERY and her father was something else and on down the line. my blood has like, insanity in it... which is actually pretty funny to me. her manic depressiveness is where the 'freaking out' and dependency come in, meh. whatev. )
eh i dunno
its weird now. oh yeah. and NOW someone is in love with me, who i am not in love with...he IS my bf but its like... responsibility all over again... like i cant be free to just like take a break b/c hes so afraid ill leave him...
and even if i talk him onto being ok w/ taking a break, its like im still not free to be like "ok, i like being single more" b/c then everything he had feared would have come true and...i dont want to do that to a person...
ugh.
i feel like being quiet.
i mean like being settled.
i think thats why i do all the cutting and tylenol stuff, because i feel quieted and settled after...
at least for a little bit...
no other way to get that feeling so...
i mean, wouldnt you do it? if there was no other way to feel settled, wouldnt you do it?
who wouldnt?
.
meeh.
the prob is that i dont even know if cutting works anymore. like ive been turned off to it, like its uugh now, and so... there ISNT a way to get settled...
and i know i cna pray for it and all that but i dont feel settled for long, jsut exhausted afterwards and then...
things come back.
stare ....
i dont know why i was made like this
i just want to be safe
i know that, i knwo thats why im never settled
.
but GOd can still hav emore trial planned for me
im NOT safe...in a way. i am, but more could come to me, more pain
who am i to say that He wont? that peace is whats planned for me? whose to say that there is more for me to be changed with and more for me to have to go through?
i DONT know.
so how can i think He will answer my prayer to be ok and safe and like the showle "everythign is good now" feeling when 1st-He might still ahve hardship for me and 2nd- He wouldnt lie and give me that feeling when he knows that everything is NOT going to be ok?
dotn get me wrong, i am willing to continue with whatever is going on now and im willing to take whatever might be thrown at me in the future. I am a passionate person and i freaking WANT challenge, I WANT battle
but not this kind
i want to be a warrior but nto on this playing field, in my...mind, my heart
this is not outside opression or ridicule or war or missions
this is...personal. like its WITHIN me and my mind, adn yeah i want to hit it head on and battle whatever it is thats going through me, but...
i get tired
im tired
its like now theres this question, passion or rest?
which one will i go after, which one will I persue? the battle or... peace?
... stare ....
Im too young for this.
but maybe i as made for this...
but thats the thing... i want to be safe...
i think i gotta reach this point where I AM feeling safe, even in the middle of all of it
i do.... but its not safety, its peace...
like everythings ok even when its not ok..
but Im not ok...
i dunno. im tired.
whatever
just keep going i guess..
till i break again.
greeat...
stare
im already cynnicle. at 17, im already a cynic.
........
bla
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 1:58 pm
i have to go in tomorrow morning at 6:30 for gall baldder surgery, thursday march 9th.
the surgeon told me a few days ago and again today that there were complicating factors and the operation should be possibly kill me.
today my parents had to sign specific waivers about this, saying they recognized the risks and supported the decision to operate.
i am an adult, i can make this decision myself, just to stop the pain. but they are afraid my next of kin will sue if i die!
so it must be pretty serious.
if i weren't in so much pain i would just forget it.
but i am so i can't.
and although i consider myself a faithful believer, i am simply scared.
i want to live, and have kids, and see the world...
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Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 4:44 pm
chessiejo i have to go in tomorrow morning at 6:30 for gall baldder surgery, thursday march 9th. the surgeon told me a few days ago and again today that there were complicating factors and the operation should be possibly kill me. today my parents had to sign specific waivers about this, saying they recognized the risks and supported the decision to operate. i am an adult, i can make this decision myself, just to stop the pain. but they are afraid my next of kin will sue if i die! so it must be pretty serious. if i weren't in so much pain i would just forget it. but i am so i can't. and although i consider myself a faithful believer, i am simply scared. i want to live, and have kids, and see the world... I hope the surgery went well and you are okay! heart
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