Welcome to Gaia! ::

I need advise on how to handle my best friend. We are very close, and often give each other advise. She has had an on going problem with her family esp. a sister in law. This friend is a very giving person, and has become the go to girl in her family. The problem is she isn't as strong as she seems (who is?) and its tearing her apart. The sister in law abused her mentally for about a year two years ago. My friend let her do it because she wanted to bring her into the family and help her. She though if she showed the SIL that she could be trusted and would not hurt her she would not feel so alone, hurt and hated. It finally ended with the SIL walked away and was gone for about a year. She's back now and my friend is expecting the worse. I dont blaim her, but she is refusing to talk to her family for help because she says she doesnt want to break up the family. THey wont stand up for hr because one she tells them not too, and they all depend on her way to much.

I have listened to her about this for over a year, and last night finally came to the conclusion that she is playing the victim meaning to or not. That she cannot expect anyone to come save her when she refuses to help herself. And I am begining to wonder about her self worth. To tell her these things would hurt her because her SIL has told her some of them. But she is refusing to help herself... and I am getting sick of it. No one is going to come save anyone.

Poor girl! That must be a lot of pressure. I think that you should stay by her side and comfort her, whether she likes it or not twisted