Can you please edit my paper?
The U.S. should be criticized for its policies/actions as a world power.
Too abrupt, this is your thesis. Put your thesis at the end of the intro. Make an attention getter. How about "For many years, the United States of America has been getting into the affairs of other countriesThe U.S. has no right to go into other countries and getting into their affairs. The only affairs that the U.S. should be in are ones that concern the U.S.
Get smoother transitions + Do not repeat...say why it doesn't have a right When the U.S. Marines helped the sugar planters over throw Queen Liliuokalani, they had no right to do that.
Repetitive...put a topic sentence here The only reason that the U.S. got involved is because the U.S. wanted to control Hawaii.
Proof? Give me some sources..When the Spanish-American war was over
, America had
gained control of the Philippines by defeating the Spanish. However, the Filipinos wanted their own independence rather than the control of America Confusing + Rambling...put it into a new paragraph The U.S. had practically filled in the Spanish’s place.
Too casual. Change it.In fact the U.S had made Cuba a protectorate.
Totally different ideas...make it into another body paragraph The U.S. has
also gotten involved with the Israeli and Palestine issue. America should not get involved with this even though there is a U.S.-Israeli relation. It’s not America’s fight to join. The U.S. is trying to influence the price of oil to the Arab Nations. America shouldn’t press prices onto Arabia because it’s not right for Arabia to have to use America’s prices.
Where is your proof!? Cite some sources!! The U.S. shouldn’t get involved in things that do not concern America.
This is way to repetitiveAmerica shouldn’t influence things upon other countries.
Why?The U.S. shouldn’t have too much world power.
Don't end your essay with new ideas.
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