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 Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 5:39 am
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Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 5:42 am
Here I am, listening to smile empty soul. The bottom of the bottle.....it makes me think and reflect, but one thing thats really on my mind is something else. I mean no one stops to just think about things, no one stops to just feel. I just feel odd, I mean....how can I be the person you thought I was if you put me up too high. I can't reach that, I can't become it, and I can't feel it. Now the songs the other side, words ringing from the song only to linger in my ears. I feel like quitting, but what will that show? Single parent left alone. My dad needs me, but sooner or later I'm going to have to leave. Feel like crying a river, but no one will see. Is this what society made me. I don't like this feeling, its harsh and numbing. But who the ******** am I to say I don't deserve it. I do deserve it. I deserve every moment of sadness, every moment I think in my depression. Why is it that we grow apart? Is it people, locations, or just personality. I'm not the person you think I am, I'm a lowly creature filled with pain. I get obsessed with people, and I can't help it. One of my many problems. Nights I'll spend waiting, pain that my life was faking.
Nothing means nothing, and everything means nothing.
You are my everything and nothing. They once sad nothing lasted forever. Will you be my nothing, that one thing that lasts forever. I'm a traveler, nothing more. I go from one Friend to the next, and am always used to being left alone. I had hope in this, I hoped being a traveler would lead me to something better. Now I sit here, looking back at my trail only to laugh and notice how ******** up I am. I want to change, to be a lion. True and brave, but instead I'm this sick creature without a name. A thing with hate in its heart doesn't deserve a name, it doesn't deserve the body it has when so many can put it to better use. This lowly creature doesn't even get a name, and not even a hint of originality to differ it from everything else. I feel like its a curse, to be myself. But what am I meant to know.
Sitting here, asking myself why I'm here.
Constantly I do this, just sitting down only to look at the havens. A single word parts my pale frozen lips, adding on to the already growing cold inside.
"Why?"
Why am I here, why is there pain. So many reasons why I ask why, its killing me inside. I'm sorry I can't be the person you want me to, I can only be myself, and if that isn't good enough for you then leave. I can't be your knight in shining Armour every stupid time, I can't always take away the ******** pain.
I'm changing inside, I'm dieing inside, just a shell of who I used to be.
Here I am, feeling that empty feeling once again. But I feel something else, a light inside that sends shivers down my spine. Images seem to flood my mind, ones of me surrounded in a light. White wings that shine with radiance and strength. I feel weightless, are these the moments that I want to live for. I always felt like I Had a greater purpose for my existence, I wonder if I do.
I'm reaching out for anyone, to save me from this place.
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Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:05 am
Wow...Raayven, that was really really deep.
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Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 1:55 pm
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Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 3:52 pm
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