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Eloquent Conversationalist
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 Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 6:11 pm
(( My Lone Flower
Characters: Renji X Byakuya
Word Count: 2,406
This is de censored version, if you like. xD I've omitted the naked lovemaking and hint of self-pleasure so it's just sloppy kisses.
Let me know if it's still breaking Gaia's ToS. =/
Comments are appreciated - but so long as you like it, I'm cool.
The uncensored, full version can be found at Eljay's Bleach_Yaoi, which I be happy to linky you to if desired. There's some very good works there too.
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Although he has spent years in the 6th division and being a shinigami, there were some things he would never understand. For example, Rikichi’s tendencies to lose hell butterflies even when they were caged. Or his interesting methods of trying to recapture them. Or why people were always cleaning the taisha even when the nearest speck of dust was located on the outside. Or when he rushed paperwork, only to get more from the other divisions the next day.
But there were many things he did understand. Like why everyone was perpetually afraid of Kuchiki-taicho. Like why the rules are strictly adhered to. Like why no one approaches Kuchiki-taicho unless they had urgent matters – no one apart from himself ever got close to Kuchiki-taicho, let alone speaks to him.
He also understood why Kuchiki-taicho’s heart was not here and his gaze is distant, and will remain so for this season.
He truly believed he would hate things here in the 6th division when he got transferred over. He knew no fun could arise from working under a strict noble. What he did not anticipate was the bond they would build together. He did not expect to be on close terms with Kuchiki-taicho – so when time gradually eddied away, and fragile friendship grew into an insane infatuation, he did not know what to do. Every time they touched, he could feel the blood surging under his cheeks. He spent more time glancing up at Kuchiki-taicho than looking at the paperwork he was signing. He could barely even concentrate or breathe around his taicho when they spoke directly.
Wait.
Did he just say… Byakuya?
“Abarai Renji.”
The stone cold voice, albeit gentler and softer than usual, froze him over.
“You’re daydreaming again.”
He coughed and signed off the paper he had been holding onto the past quarter of an hour. He mumbled an apology directed towards his captain and continued with the paperwork. After he seemingly had sunk back into the routine, he glanced up at his captain. There was a perpetual sadness in his eyes, but it seemed heavier today. He may look focused in his work, but his mind was dwelling elsewhere. Every time he saw that look of pain in his eyes, he wanted to hug his taicho – or at least do something – anything – that would make that pain go away.
He signed the last paper in his pile before getting up to stretch. He wandered around the office as Kuchiki-taicho went to deliver the piles. It was late afternoon, approaching early evening. He knew Kuchiki-taicho would leave soon – he would not stay back late. Not in spring.
True to his instincts, his taicho returned moments later only to pack up his desk, ready to leave. He remained silent, watching the captain haori trailing behind the man as he wandered around, shelving books, wiping down the desk. When all was tidy, he looked up at his vice-captain. Renji smiled back, giving a casual wave. “I’ll see you tomorrow, taicho.” Sad eyes lingered on the redhead’s face before he turned away, wandering out of the office. Sympathetic irises watched the number ‘six’ billow away, diminishing into the corridor. He lowered his head, the footsteps weakening until they could no longer be heard, and the all-too-familiar reiatsu disappeared.
Dark pupils scanned the quiet room. He sighed and sat down on the couch, massaging his temples. While his obsession with his captain had somewhat subsided over the years, he still could not take his mind off Kuchiki-taicho. He would still hesitate every time they touched, and he was still glancing up at his taicho every now and then. However, the desire to make his taicho happy had never faded over these decades. He wished his stoic captain would not look so sad in spring. He wanted his taicho to smile more. It may be a selfish statement, but he wanted his taicho to forget Hisana and move on.
He glanced up and out of the window. The barren branches bore one plum blossom bud, alone, rattling in the wind.
“Abarai-fukutaicho!” called out a young shinigami from behind him. He turned around, staring down the corridor, red hair swaying around his shoulders. The figure was bent over, panting, holding a brown file in one hand. “Yo. What’s up?” It took a few moments before the young man regained his breath. “Where is Kuchiki-taicho?” He still clutched tightly onto the folder. “He left for the day already. Is there something you need?” The shinigami’s eyes widened for a moment, but as if something had clicked at the back of his head, his face sunk solemnly. “Oh right. Well, there’s just this urgent document Yamamoto-sama just sent out. He wants it signed by all captains and returned first thing tomorrow morning at the latest. But I guess…”
Renji extended a hand expectantly. “I can pass it to him later on.” He said, looking towards the side. “Ah. Thanks, Abarai-fukutaicho!” He gave the file to the vice-captain, bowed deeply and proceeded to head off in the opposite direction. He stared down at the folder, sighed again, and tucked it in his yukata. Looks like he’ll be paying a visit to the Kuchiki estate tonight.
“Ara… You’re home, nii-sama.” Noted Rukia as she saw him wander in. “….Ah.” was all he said in response, turning away. “…Are you going to have dinner? I have plans for nice food today.” Without interrupting his strides, he gently shook his head and replied a soft ‘no thank you’ as he went towards his room. Slowly, she returned to the kitchen, wondering if she should prepare something for him anyway. She decided she would, and if her brother really did not want any of it, she could have the leftovers tomorrow. Or something.
He changed into a simple white robe mindlessly, his thoughts never deviating. He slid the cupboard door close as his hand lingered on the wooden frame. “Hisana…” he murmured, closing his eyes. It has been decades since her death, yet he still could not bring himself to forget her and her everlasting, innocent smile. A part of him wanted to honor and remember her forever, but another part of him wanted to leave her to dwell in his past, and move on. He knew Hisana wanted this too.
Darkness had engulfed the skies when Renji arrived at the entrance to the estate. He lingered for a bit before walking in, not bothering to conceal his presence. Rukia perked up upon sensing that familiar reiatsu, and wandered out to greet her old friend. “Renji!” she called out. He turned to look at her. She was smiling and waving in a rather excited fashion. He wondered how she could do that in such a melancholic, depressing ambience.
The two figures approached each other near the main doors. “What brings you here, Renji?” she chirped, her upbeat, lively happiness dramatically lightening up the atmosphere. “Ah, well. It’s nothing too important. After Kuchiki-taicho left, an urgent document was sent out, so I thought I’d come by an–”
“Aw. That’s unusually thoughtful of you. Have you had dinner?”
“…No, I haven’t.”
“That’s good. I’ve cooked more than enough to feed you. Come in.”
“Ah… Well, thanks.”
The size of the mansion never ceased to amaze him. Every time he came, he would find a new room or new area – he wondered if it was as big as the taisha itself. He followed Rukia to the kitchen, and after being seated, glanced around. The food smelt great. She served him dinner and watched him eat slowly, noticing how his look, too, was distant, almost like her brother’s. “…Oi, Renji.” He looked up at her quizzically. “Are you alright? You look… far away.” He smiled weakly and nodded. “I’m fine. Just… thinking.” He put some fish in his mouth. “You look gloomy. It looks as if Aniki-san has passed on the ‘misery’ bug.” He laughed. “Your brother is always stoic and miserable. I’m used to it.” She looked at him for a while before shrugging it off.
“I’ll go get him for you.” She said after doing the dishes and brewing some tea. He nodded in appreciation and waited, feeling her reiatsu recede, pause, and then return, this time accompanied by her brother’s. As always, he looked presentable as he sat opposite to Renji. There was a moment of silence as Rukia fidgeted uneasily. “I’ll go get more tea.” She said hastily before leaping to her feet and running off back into the kitchen.
“About this document…”
“Ah, of course. Here you go.”
He handed the brown manila folder over, his fingers twitching as he felt Kuchiki-taicho’s fingers ghost over his, and he looked away hurriedly, avoiding eye contact. Without looking at the contents, he set the folder down next to himself.
When Rukia returned, they spent a short time more together. It was getting late though, and she was tired having come back from a mission. “Aniki-san, Renji. I think I’m going to head off. I have a long day tomorrow.” The redhead nodded towards her and gave a small wave. “Good night then, Rukia-chan.” She smiled at the suffix. “Mm~ I’ll see you tomorrow.” She stood and after ensuring the pot of tea was full, left to go to her room.
It was just the two of them now. They spent much time in silence, either lamenting or just drinking the tea. He felt that it was getting rather late, and he should go, but he did not want to leave his captain. He wondered if Kuchiki-taicho knew. Knew about his adoration. Renji often boasted about how the person he would like to defeat and surpass is him, but no one knew how he felt about his captain. Not in that sense. He did not know what happened that night, but years and years of feelings kept locked within himself began surging beneath his own skin, his heartbeat subconsciously increasing, the need to vent his frustration evident in the fluctuations of his reiatsu.
He did not know what drove him to do so, but after slamming the empty bamboo cup onto the ground, he yelled at the man sitting opposite from him.
“You! Why do you torture yourself like this every year! She’s dead – she’s been dead for what, many decades now! Why is it that every spring you always plunge yourself into this endless black hole and you refuse to move on! You hurt yourself every spring every year – why can’t you just pull your head out of your a** for once and look around! YOU’RE HURTING OTHER PEOPLE TOO.”
Almost immediately he regretted his outburst, and prayed that Rukia did not hear him. The entire house seemed to ring with his anger echoing off the walls. He was breathing harder than normal, lacking the comprehension and the patience for all of this nonsense. But when his taicho lifted his head and looked him straight in the eyes, time stopped and his heart sank. A glossy film had formed over Byakuya’s eyes, reflecting the lukewarm candlelight in the corner of his irises. Swirling in those dark orbs was eternal sadness and regret he would never recover from. There was pain in those eyes – the pain of losing a loved one, the pain of having to choose between what is right and what has to be done, the pain of being alone, but most importantly, the pain of wanting to be loved again.
And perhaps, Renji had tried to ease away that dominant pain. Perhaps that was why he moved closer to his taicho. Perhaps that was why he reached up to his captain’s face, and for the first time ever, touched that pale cheek. Perhaps that was why the tear which trickled down the side of Kuchiki-taicho’s face was wiped away by Renji’s thumb. Perhaps that was why that hand curled around the back of Kuchiki-san’s neck and pulled their faces together until they were bare centimeters apart. Perhaps that was why Renji tilted his head, closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Byakuya’s.
Much to his surprise, Byakuya’s lips parted, allowing his tongue to slip into his captain’s mouth. His tongue worked its way around, tasting, exploring, discovering. Byakuya tasted like green tea from the pots they had drunk earlier, but then, he anticipated that he did as well. Gently, he eased the man onto the floor, tendrils of wild, red hair flowing down his shoulders, splaying across the mats. Byakuya did nothing in response, simply following along, letting his vice-captain do as he pleased.
When Renji finally pulled away, both were breathless. The man beneath him was gasping for air, his chest heaving uneasily. When they regained their senses, Renji’s eyes peered down into bewildered orbs. Byakuya’s eyes were like those of a child’s, lost in a sea of nameless faces, confused and alone. “I love you, taicho.” Said Renji softly. “I always have.” Rough fingers grasped the slender, pale, delicate hand beneath him. “I won’t let you hurt yourself anymore. Share your pains with me – I will be glad to share your burdens. I’m not asking you to love me back, taicho. I just want you to be happy.” An insuppressible renewed sense of hope, once dead for centuries in those pained eyes, now revived and danced in his eyes.
“Renji…” he murmured, looking into his vice-captain’s eyes. They were aflame with passion as deep and red as his hair. At first he thought he was being hypersensitive, but he knew somewhat that his vice-captain was attracted to him, which should have been worrying. He noticed that every time they unintentionally touched, his vice-captain would almost blush and his reiatsu for that split second would waver. He could not help but notice, too, the glances his vice-captain would cast towards him, eyes brimming with concern, every so often while they were both at the office. After spending so much time together, he also knew that Renji began picking up on his habits and demeanor. He did not expect getting acquainted with his vice-captain, nor did he expect to have developed the same, reciprocal feelings for him.
Perhaps that was why he let Renji kiss him. Perhaps that was why he did not pull back or resist when their long kiss left him breathless. Perhaps that was why, tonight, just maybe for a little while, he would forget about Hisana and think about Renji. ))
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 2:34 am
>< I love it ^^ Which is something - i'm not normaly such a fan of ByaxRenji, but i'll like any pairing that's well done, and i'd say you did that ^^ Great Job!
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Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 12:58 pm
Oh, nice tone. I like the little environmental cues for loneliness, and your Rukia was perfectly contradictory. The slow, gentle build-up is definitely a Byakuya style, but the minor explosion is great for Renji. blaugh I like!
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Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 4:27 pm
-"'He also understood why Kuchiki-taicho’s heart was not here and his gaze is distant, and will remain so for this season.'"- heart
This is a great fanfic! I'm a fan of RenBya, and it's one of the best I've seen! 3nodding I liked the hopeful/yet lonely tone/mood from this story, although for some reason I found the part w/ Rukia a little sudden neutral ... but that's probably just me. sweatdrop Overall, it was great! ^_^
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