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 Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 4:35 pm
ok, so i was bored out of my mind in french class today and started writeing a random story. i'm wondering if i should continue it, and also if i'm anygood at actualy writeing, or should i keep my day night job.
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 4:42 pm
the room was lit by a single candle. it cast the room in an almost other-worldly light. the meek shadows looked all the more sinister as light reflected off the many objects in the room. i stared at what appeared to be a human skull sitting on the desk in front of me.
sitting across from me was an old woman, her thin face looked almost like a skull as well. her eyes stared into an old wooden bowl filled with some sort of red liquid. her soft voice muttred a chant that sent goose bumps up my arms, and raised the hair on the back of my neck. her frail hands waved over the bowl and finaly she stoped, "look into the bowl" she said quietly looking straight at me, her golden eyes shineing like those of a cat. i bit into my lip and tasted blood. "don't worry child, there is nothing to fear" she cooed. i was tempted to tell her that i was 15, and no longer a child but i didn't i moved slowly to look into the red liquid. slowly is started to swirl. my eyes grew wid in shock as a picture emerged.
"what do you see?" she asked watching me carefuly.
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 8:40 pm
Oops. I clicked the wrong poll option >< I'm sorry! I like the story ^^ it's intriguing...
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 9:47 pm
Jamanda the room was lit by a single candle. it cast the room in an almost other-worldly light. the meek shadows looked all the more sinister as light reflected off the many objects in the room. i stared at what appeared to be a human skull sitting on the desk in front of me. sitting across from me was an old woman, her thin face looked almost like a skull as well. her eyes stared into an old wooden bowl filled with some sort of red liquid. her soft voice muttred a chant that sent goose bumps up my arms, and raised the hair on the back of my neck. her frail hands waved over the bowl and finaly she stoped, "look into the bowl" she said quietly looking straight at me, her golden eyes shineing like those of a cat. i bit into my lip and tasted blood. "don't worry child, there is nothing to fear" she cooed. i was tempted to tell her that i was 15, and no longer a child but i didn't i moved slowly to look into the red liquid. slowly is started to swirl. my eyes grew wid in shock as a picture emerged. "what do you see?" she asked watching me carefuly. well first allow me to say that i love the begining and i would love to hear the rest. i really like the description in the story. at the very begining those first few line are a great hook for the story. if that doesn't suck a reader in the i guess i don't know what will. i also like that it feels like it is going to be a short story (My guess is that is right) please write more
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 9:48 pm
chibi_inuangel Oops. I clicked the wrong poll option >< I'm sorry! I like the story ^^ it's intriguing... i read this post then almost did the same thing xd man that is weird
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2006 4:48 am
that is weird... maybe because most polls ask "do you like it?" or "is it good?" so you were thinking yes, this is good, or yes, i liked it.
i'm glad you liked te beginning mrgreen and i'll try to write more, maybe post it tonight nless life get's in the way xd
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Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 1:11 pm
ah i've done some more... i'll post it...
i tryed to discribe the gruesome picture unfolding befor me... my mouth opened but no words came. "what do you see?" she asked me for a third time, her voice hinted that she was getting impatient"d...death...... peopel, dieing, killing" i muttred, i wanted to look away, but couldn't bring myself to. "an-" i was sudenly cut off by a flash of white light. my sight slowly returned to normal and i blinked. i was no longer in the room with the woman, no longer at the desk staring into that gruesom image. instead, i was in what apeared to be an army camp. fat drops of rain pounded on my head makeing my hair stick to my face. my eyes wandered the camp. large burly men walked along, most shaven bald or with long stringy hair. some had intracate tatos on their exposed flesh, even their face that make them look unhuman. a group of younger men sat around a smoldering fire, drinking. each one of them had a peircing above his left eye, and on his lower lip. a man walked past me, along his ear were many periceings.
screams echoed through the vast camp twisted with laughter. sending shivers up my spine. i saw groups of men tossing women around like they were toys. and i walked past many tents, in most the silouet of two or three figures could be seen, this is where the screams came from. the rain and constant movement of the men had turned the ground to a slipery muddy mess. horses led by men snotred and bucked restlessly.
as i walked through the camp i was nearly trampled as a larger war horse bucked.
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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 10:52 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 5:54 am
is that a good wow? or a wow a 13 year old wrote this? or a wow i can't read any more?
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Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 6:20 pm
thunder boomed and lightning lit the sky. the men continued uneffected by any of it as the womens crys rose over the downpour and crash of thunder...
as i walked men's eyes played over my body, taking me in. i felt so small and helpless when they looked at me, the way they grined as they stared at my low cut dress and yet, i was untouched so far. i passed a tent and saw the silouhet of three people an ear splitting scream escaped one of the occupants of the tent, a scream of pure horror.
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Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 10:23 pm
Jamanda is that a good wow? or a wow a 13 year old wrote this? or a wow i can't read any more? It's an i am very intruigued wow.
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Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 8:50 am
chibi_inuangel Jamanda is that a good wow? or a wow a 13 year old wrote this? or a wow i can't read any more? It's an i am very intruigued wow. ah ok glad to hear it 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 4:09 pm
Ugh! I like your stories! why don't you write it any more?!?!? DX
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 8:42 pm
i really like ur story
i like how he suddenly like goes into the scene
and u hav good word choice 3nodding
u should write some more
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Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:50 pm
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