Welcome to Gaia! ::

The concept of Nintelligent Design:

Ninjas are behind everything. They created life because ninjas can perform miracles using magical ninja powers. Once life started in the world, the Ninjas worked hard to make sure that life followed their Grand Plan.

One can not understand a ninja because they are a higher being then us. One of ultimate stealth and deadly power. Only ninjas can kill and the only way to die is by ninja. We are all immortal without them.

Ninja Selection

If the grand plan requires an animal to die a ninja will kill it and fool us into thinking it died due to environmental pressures. Scientists can't claim this has no evidence because ninjas have ultimate stealth and are undetectable.

Ninjamuation

Ninjas are responsible for so called random mutation. They use their katanas to cut our DNA and make it mutate how they want it to. We can't tell because they are so accurate and stealthy.

Carbon dating? HA!

Things like carbon dating are all wrong! The Earth is actually only 1002 years old. The ninjas snuck in and changed all our history and parts of our world. Ultimate stealth and ninja magic lets them do so. They also sabotage our instruments so we think that the elements have a half-life. Why has no one seen them, you ask? Because of ultimate stealth.

Its a conspiracy!
Scientists and silly Evolutionists follow the AntiNinja! You see they are all part of a Grand Conspiracy to hide the way of the ninja. By doing so they will make us less stealthy, and more fat and lazy. These Materialists are evil! They do this so the AntiNinja favors them when they are sent to the Ninja Underworld, were you commit seppuku (painful ritual suicide) once every hour for eternity (but you can't die), its less painful if you have the AntiNinja's favor, but we all know that following the Ninjas is te best way of all, and will keep you out of the Ninja Underworld.


The Rules of Ninjaoism

Thou shalt not kill other ninjas, everyone else is game.

Thou shalt not steal from ninjas, unless the loot is sweet.

Thou shalt always battle dramatically and with complicated movements.

Thou shalt always carry a weapon, preferably a pointy one or one that doubles as a guitar.

Thy guitar, if thou has such, must be only describable as "totally sweet". Thou must also rock out on thy totally sweet guitar as often as is physically possible.

Thou shalt always keep thy identity secret and face covered.

Thou shalt only have sex with ninjas.

Thou shalt always remain mammilian, unless thou is a dragon, and then thou rocks.

It is evil to have green eyes, you may think you were born that way but we know better. You chose to have Green Eyes, and you will pay for your sin!

Thou shalt not set fire to thy neighbor's shed.

Thou shalt not question any of these rules, only the most literal interpretation is allowed!

_____________________________
Edits added! Thanks, chrisoya!

Ohnoes! The ninjas are coming for me because I'm a Darwinist! *ducks*

I'm actually considering posting it in the GD for amusement.

How active have the creationists been lately on Gaia? I've been pretty busy with homosexual rights and abortion rights lately.

Pirates are the way the truth and the light.

The whole abortion thing is an even bigger dead end than the whole creationism versus reality issue.

I swear, these morons don't make it easy to get educated.