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 Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 2:07 pm
If all signs point in the direction that,
Yes,
I am bipolar,
Why is it that at times I don't think I am?
I self-diagnosed.
Because whatever I read,
And screened,
Agreed with how I was.
But I'm in a time where there is nothing.
The waters are calm.
All is quiet.
I know that that is normal,
For periods of normality ranging in length.
But I feel as though maybe I've made some mistake because of it.
Maybe I'm not as I thought.
Is this normal?
Have you ever thought maybe there's 'nothing wrong'?
And I didn't just point out a symptom or two and say that was me,
kthx.
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Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 5:38 am
Welcome to the bipolar life. You are correct in self diagnosis. If the shoe fits.... Check my post, I wasn't diagnosed, I was around psych nurses, residents, interns, teaching hospital, went to 4 or 5 counselors/psychatrists over the years before I was diagnosed. And once I was and we learned more about it my family members said yea I do the do. Especially if you are a slower cycler. That is the more common way bipolar works, not rapid like me. But a lot of great people were bipolar. Retrospective diagnosis through historical info and memoirs. Abraham Lincoln for one.
Well off to bed for me. My bipolar has kept me up all night. I'll post a thread about that and definitely on my journal.
Check you later smile heart
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Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 2:35 pm
Thank yoouuu.
>You made me feel better.
It's like in the times of normality,
I think that un-normal for me.
You know?
I'm a rapid cycler.
But I do have days,
Sometimes weeks,
Where there is nothing and I wonder if maybe I could have been wrong after all.
But I had episodes today.
People thought I was insane/on drugs.
1st period I was down,
Way down.
2nd I was asleep.
3rd I was up like WOAH.
The most manicy I've EVER been at school.
Half of fourth I was manicy,
After that I was exhausted.
Gahh,
Thank you again.
<333
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Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 8:12 pm
Well, I'm pretty much in the same boat. I've never been formally diagnosed but all signs and bipolar people told me I was bipolar.
I mean, it's either that or I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
But there are times when I feel like I can't get enough done and everyone around me is moving too damn slow and those I suppose are my manic times. There are also times when I don't want to get out of bed because I feel like my whole world's falling apart or that I just feel like I'm tearing myself up inside (I haven't felt that way too much lately, thank goodness) and I suppose those are my depressant times.
Then, there are times like now where I'm generally pleased with my surroundings and will be happy just to spend a nice, quiet evening at home with my love. I guess those are my "in between times."
If I were manic or depressed 100% of my life, I don't know how I'd ever be able to interact with other poeple.
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2006 2:02 pm
I don't really like the times inbetween.
It's like 'Was I wrong this whole time..?'
And
Gah
It's just
Frustrating.
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 6:55 am
Your Robot I don't really like the times inbetween.
It's like 'Was I wrong this whole time..?'
And
Gah
It's just
Frustrating. It IS frustrating. I finally did get diagnosed about a year ago, though I had a hunch for two years, and I've had symptoms for 7. You know what? It wasn't until last week I FINALLY accepted the fact that I have bipolar. And I'll probably go back to believing I don't any day now. I'm a rapid cycler, and like you, I'd cycle even between hours. I have hit a remission that is going on almost TWO MONTHS now, something I haven't experienced for years. So of course I'm experiencing a lot of doubt on all of this... So, you're not alone. In fact, I think it's pretty normal.
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Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 10:01 pm
It's truly hard not to self-disagnose in this day and age.
I personally did it loosely, and just said I had depression.
Which, by that time, was obvious by the fact that I was suicidal and awful.
Aparently I've had some sort of acute or moderate depression for the last 10 years or so (meaning it started sometime under the age of 7), according to my behaviors since then. You can imagine how terrible my mother felt finding that out.
I'm borderline bipolar, to be honest. My mother, grandmother, and grandfather all are/were bipolar, and I'm sort of straddling the edge (obviously in the direction of bipolar II)
I actually have a daily cycle, great in the morning, crap in the evening. This also follows seasonally. (Which is only odd because Winter is my favorite season)
And then, to top it off, I have huge moodswings to add to the madness. Yay.
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 11:27 am
Wings of Aegis Your Robot I don't really like the times inbetween.
It's like 'Was I wrong this whole time..?'
And
Gah
It's just
Frustrating. It IS frustrating. I finally did get diagnosed about a year ago, though I had a hunch for two years, and I've had symptoms for 7. You know what? It wasn't until last week I FINALLY accepted the fact that I have bipolar. And I'll probably go back to believing I don't any day now. I'm a rapid cycler, and like you, I'd cycle even between hours. I have hit a remission that is going on almost TWO MONTHS now, something I haven't experienced for years. So of course I'm experiencing a lot of doubt on all of this... So, you're not alone. In fact, I think it's pretty normal.
I thought I was the only one and the bioplar community would chew me out or something..
<33Nushi da Xiongmao It's truly hard not to self-disagnose in this day and age. I personally did it loosely, and just said I had depression. Which, by that time, was obvious by the fact that I was suicidal and awful. Aparently I've had some sort of acute or moderate depression for the last 10 years or so (meaning it started sometime under the age of 7), according to my behaviors since then. You can imagine how terrible my mother felt finding that out. I'm borderline bipolar, to be honest. My mother, grandmother, and grandfather all are/were bipolar, and I'm sort of straddling the edge (obviously in the direction of bipolar II) I actually have a daily cycle, great in the morning, crap in the evening. This also follows seasonally. (Which is only odd because Winter is my favorite season) And then, to top it off, I have huge moodswings to add to the madness. Yay.
But if I think back really hard,
I might be able to find an age.
I do remember though,
When I was 11,
4 years ago in a chatroom,
I told a friend of mine I thought I had two personalities-
One that was always happy and would never shut up,
And one that could never stop crying.
Urg.
Thank you.
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Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 9:43 pm
I've been diagnosed ADD (as a child and as an adult), and had my GP and several psychologists suggest that I could be bipolar, but I was never formally diagnosed. Also, I believe that the name of what you have isn't important, just the symptoms. I have symptoms of ADD and bipolar II, but I usually don't tell people I'm ADD and bipolar, just one or the other, or I'll tell them I have general mental illness.
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Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 10:39 pm
Nushi da Xiongmao It's truly hard not to self-disagnose in this day and age. I personally did it loosely, and just said I had depression. Which, by that time, was obvious by the fact that I was suicidal and awful. Aparently I've had some sort of acute or moderate depression for the last 10 years or so (meaning it started sometime under the age of 7), according to my behaviors since then. You can imagine how terrible my mother felt finding that out. I'm borderline bipolar, to be honest. My mother, grandmother, and grandfather all are/were bipolar, and I'm sort of straddling the edge (obviously in the direction of bipolar II) I actually have a daily cycle, great in the morning, crap in the evening. This also follows seasonally. (Which is only odd because Winter is my favorite season) And then, to top it off, I have huge moodswings to add to the madness. Yay. That sounds just like me except for the whole seasonal thing. I'm also self-diagnosed recently even though I've had suspicions for a long time.
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 9:52 am
hmm.. so.. i'm pretty sure i'm bipolar and a friend of mine that i told this to said she thought i was too. i have massive mood swings and am depressed when there's nothing to be depressed about. it's ridiculous but then i get all super happy and i'm hyper on and off. i don't really have a cycle.. its just random, but sometimes it seems like a weekly thing. i've researched and i'm pretty sure im correct but if you have any advice i'd appreciate it. i'm too afraid to go to a doctor about it. i haven't even told my parents. well thats a lie, i told my mom and she thought i was joking or something. i don't really want to accept it i think. i just, don't want to tell people, they'll think i'm crazy and i don't mind that, but it would be a load of questions i don't want to have to answer sad . pm with any advice please
thanks.
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