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Betrayed

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souls are
  mine
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Evidyr

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:43 pm


Allan sighed in depression,it seemed to him nothing was going right in his life.His grades were dropping,he was always teased,and he didnt have anyone to turn to so he wouldn't have to bottle things up within himself anymore.The friends he already had thought he was just a bit strange but due to Allan's paranoia he didnt trust them.He began to cry thinking of what he will do next.he couldn't take it anymore, not after what the last girl did to him just to toy with his mind making him believe someone actually liked him just to find the girl was seeing someone he thought to be his friend.it crushed him, to think he could trust anyone.

He picked up the pistol shaking staring at it.He cried harder thinking no one would miss him once he died, no one seemed to care about him now what would make them think differently now.He began to remember how the kids treated him when he was little,how his so called friends stole his favorite bike and treated him like trash.He put the gun to the side of his head and closed his eyes and sighed shakily as more tears ran down his face.Before he pulled the trigger something in a dark robe with a hood covering its face appeared.Allan Pulled the trigger and his corpse fell over dead.The Hooded figure turned to the spirit of Allan that hovered just above the ground and a dark voice whispered"Welcome to Hell"
PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:46 pm


poor
Allan

ColdStreek
Captain


Evidyr

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:51 pm


smile
PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:56 pm


I do like the story
its so much saddness
im in love with it haha

ColdStreek
Captain


Evidyr

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:00 pm


thought it would be good hopin it makes someone react to it
PostPosted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 8:17 pm


This one's pretty good, but I'm sure you could expand on how he was treated.
I think I like it because it is a situation where a guy is actually feeling something.
Proves my 'men are all heartless' theory completely wrong.
Good job.
:3

Pixie Tea
Crew

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