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 Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 1:01 pm
What is wrong with the following paragraph?
The nubile girl dances in the aged trees, her dress caught in the breathing wind, hair dark against the green leaves. Face pale yet beautiful, lips rich and supple, parted by the rich music heard by silent trees. Hidden by bushes, a man watches, intrigued by her beauty. His steed at his side shakes it's gilt mane and the girl stirs...........
Post guesses as you come up with them.
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 11:55 am
"it's"....it should be its, without the apostrophe.
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 8:15 pm
um, well picked up....but that's not what's wrong... biggrin
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Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 12:34 pm
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Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 9:15 pm
no indention at the begining of it?
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 5:37 am
No. Look at little more at the content, not the format
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 12:14 pm
only three sentences when a paragraph needs four (just grasping at straws here)
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 4:32 pm
I don't know if this is jsut coincidence, but I can't see a single 'o' in your paragraph.
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 2:36 am
Well Done!!
Yes that was what was wrong!
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 4:55 am
Yes xp
Do I have to do something now?
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 7:08 am
You can post something along the same lines, or you can just feel proud you got it....
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 5:35 pm
I just feel proud that you got it lol
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