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 Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 9:53 pm
Here's the (watered-down) deal: I used to be (borderline) suicidal, and very depressed. I've gone through a lot of changes (friends moving away, and well, dieing, and such), some just growing up, others (as I have alluded to), not so much. However, that's all in the (slight) past. Or, I would at least like to think so. It's just that I can conect with very little on this plane of existance, and therefore have very little emotional attacthments to the world that I live in. I have to keep conestenlly in motion, because I'm half-afraid that if I let myself be still, then those thoughts will creep up again and I'll be back where I started - at the bottom of a self desturtive hole. Needless to say, I would very much like to find a way to be calm and still and all that good stuff with out being afraid. I'm sure that someone on this forum has been in my shoes before, so, if you please, some advice on (a) getting over/comming to terms with my fear, (b) living and funtioning in the world, while dealing with an emotionally charged past, and (c) how to connect with other people so I have some fondation if, heaven forbid, things start to go to hell in a hand basket. Thank you very much.
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Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 8:27 am
i don't know... i get along pretty good. no meds for almost a year now...
i have a significant other, so it's easier for me...
but i have no friends... i have never outgrown my sensitivity and fear of people... that mistrust has never left me. i still have alot of issues to work through, and i am afraid of never outgrowing some injuries...
coming to terms with your fears could mean not expressing them, trying to pretend their not there until you are alone with someone... someONE you love and trust...
living and functioning becomes alot easier if you are not alone...
but connecting is something i fear being unable to do again... after what a certain ex-best friend did... but anyways...
i'm sorry.
connecting/coping is hard.
i feel like having a therapist is actual really good, whether they care or not, you can go off and talk about it... internet friends are good, because you can express alll the deep stuff to invisible people... people who come and go and can never really hurt you.
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Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 2:51 pm
I've always hade trouble connecting with people because they either don't appreciate what I give them, leave me, or hurt me.
I have one best friend. That is all. I have aquaintences, people I call, but only one best friend. I agree with Hetaria about the counseling. I always need to spill the beans when i'm happy or distressed and when you tell a friend that you believe you can trust they always end up telling another one of their friends. It's human nature. And I just feel crazy sitting there talking to myself. I don't know, maybe a journal is a good idea but I don't have any empty ones.
Online friends can be very helpful. That is, just don't mix the online buisness with real life friends, that can be messy. People don't always write what they mean, but then there it is in bold black letters, whether they mean it or not.
Music has always helped me. And a conpanion is nice too. I'm the kind of person that needs to feel loved or I start doubting myself. I know a lot of people with that problem. But it's always good to have someone you can share with, may it be a companion, a friend, some random internet person, or a tharapist. Just be sure that the person you share with is not going to be two-faced or use hurtful words. Whoever you share with should be there to help you, not make you feel like s**t. If they do, ditch them. You don't need it.
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Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 9:28 am
I can't stay still because I'm afraid of being lonely. I have a hard time making new friends. Not only am I shy, I'm always getting shot down. I've always been told to ask for help if I don't understand something (in school, life, etc.), but I get ignored or told to shut it and that I ask too much. Typically, wen I do make new friends, I'm usually treated like a little sister. Yes, I'm small, and yes, I talk a lot, but I don't appreciate being treated like a baby. It feels like every where I go, people are trying to keep me small. But I can't stand being alone. That makes me do what I do- overload my schedule so my aftershcool becomes my social life, since without that, I'd pretty much have no life. If I stop for a moment, I'm afraid that I'll be alone.
Why are people's minds so difficult? I don't mean to sound mean, but really. We're way too complex sometimes. Why?
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