Oi.
I'm sorry, but you have a lot you need to work on.
First of all, you have no plot.
I have no problem with gore, and if there is gore, there should be at least a reason.
Secondly, your language is blunt and dry. All I read was cutting of peoples' body parts and laughing.
And lastly, if you ever intend to be a published author, this definitely is not your forté.
If you're into horror, read phenominal horror.
Stephen King, dude.
Watch horror movies.
Get a feel for it.
If I might reccomend a movie [It isn't horror, but it was very interesting to me. I think to anybody who intends to pursue any career in writing should watch it], I would watch Rushmore.
D: