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 Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:00 am
Well here it is: The Meaning Of life
I look at the sky, not a sound
I feel like I’m in a dream
Seeing what could be found
Things are not what they may seam
Even thoughts are tightly wound
You never know if things are real
You can think
But do you ever feel?
Let these thoughts sink
For that’s for you to reveal
Look at the sun
Look at the moon
It is not done
Things will change soon
You have only begun
Look at the sky
You wonder what is out there
What could be up so high?
You do nothing but stare
Then a thought comes , Why?
An other day
Things get hard
You did it all the same way
You feel like you are barred
It’ll never be Okay
Then things get good
The rain clears
You knew it would
No more time for tears
You knew you could
Look deep inside
For the meaning of life
Open you heart big and wide
Then it hits you like a knife
It’s for you to decide
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:42 pm
Funny...that's very similar to a conclusion I got after sitting on a couch for 5 hours feeling depressed.
By the way, I like the poem.
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 4:36 pm
It's a little boring. I would more poetic devices, like interesting similies or metaphors. I would cay the subject is a little cliche, so I would a few more ideas and take out a few of the more cliche ones. I liked it though, and I think it has great potential. I hope this helps.
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Posted: Thu May 19, 2005 2:50 pm
Thanks! I'll try to write a second draft when I have time, its just the ending time of school,are you know how it goes, TESTS TEST TESTS!
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