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 Posted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 11:02 pm
I know in moral opinions it is wrong to have sex before marriage, but in the worldly opinions of us modern age kin, how do you feel about the whole friend-with-benifits stuff. Do you think it's fine and is okay to take sex lightly( in such) or do you think that if you're willing to procede that far with a friend than it's as good as the two of you being in a relationship? Touchy subject? yes. Controversial? yes. Curious? arn't we all.
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Posted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 10:49 am
Personally, I don't see 'friends-with-benifits' as a problem. Both parties have to be upfront with their feelings about the other person, and I think that's where the trickiness comes in. It's easy to think that you're in love with someone if you have a good time with each other and also are snogging each other senceless at every dark corner - even if in all other ways the two aren't compatable as a couple. However if both parties only see it as a form of tention release and nothing more, then all is good. For myself, I don't think that tention of any kind is good to hold on to - all that energy needs a release somewhere, and if you deny yourself any of your needs (food, water, air, sleep, or sex) then bad things tend to happen (ie: short temper, mood swings, etc).
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Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 1:19 am
What if you are compatible but one just sais they feel they want to be single? What if all that's keeping you from a perfect relationship is their stubborness to commit? It all begins to get tricky when emotions start to play. To me, sex is a very emotional task. Once you let someone c** inside you you have two lines of trust open upon that friendship. They must have the trust that you won't just slip a baby upon them, right? Right there, that shows commitment to the relationship in its self, right? Or maybe i'm just crazy....
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Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 8:59 am
i would have to say a friendship is about love and commitment, and if you can have what i feel is necessary for a real friendship, and sex, and freedom, and happiness... then it's great. the problems arise with jealousy and possession issues, or the need for the relationship. i'm in a one man relationship that is so close to perfect i could cry. sex is beautiful, and so is friendship and love. you've gotta be friends with your lover, why not be lovers with your friends.
i don't know. a part of me will always wish i'd waited til marriage to give it to my man, but... i didn't, and i try not to stress about it still. sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 3:18 pm
Maybe it's just cause i've begun to see him in a new light and have reallized that i've slept with way too manypeople for one life and want the list to stop here. To be honest, i'm getting too old for all the little games of new relationships, and he seems like the perfect person to start a longterm relationship with. A friend would be the best place to start right? We already know everything about eachother and have gone all the way with eachother, it seems like it would work. Then again, i don't know if he is at that same point in his life right now.
A friend of mine comes from this place where everyone gets married around the age of 16, everyone get's married young and she doesn't know one person that's been divorced. Maybe we spend too much time analyzing people and looking for the perfect relationship and not enough time trying to make things work nowdays..? I don't want to be 30 and still sleeping with random guys who pretend to show interest in me.
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Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2006 7:30 am
yeah, a serious relationship should be a friendship, or you get lonely, even if you have other friends. my relationship now has taken alot of hits and work to get to where it is, and there will always be kinks. some people jsut aren't willing to go that extra ******** step pattern to get it done. real relationships are tough, and that's why they don't last. people hit that bottom, think it's hopeless, and bail out. friends always make it work...
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Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 3:48 pm
In some case, sex is most definately a meaningful experience. However, sometimes it can be a way to take care of your body and please it physically, just as one might meditate or have reiki. I don't see much wrong with having sex before marriage just as long as you take care of yourself and make sure that you and any partner of yours are clean and healthy.The Elfa
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Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 9:30 am
well, i didn't realize that i wished i'd saved it til i got with my current mate. when i found him and felt like he was a one and only... i felt guilty for not having been able to give him my whole self in that way, like he could me. tantric sexuality takes sexual ritual generally as a rule with a couple that is exclusive. at least, there is never more than one man *lol*. but anyways. sexuality can take you to the higher plain without a multitude of partners. love makes sex better. of coarse, i realize it may take someone many partners to find the right one.
sexual compatibility is important.
*unfortunately, maybe?*
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Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 11:03 pm
There are many types of relationships - sexual and not. If the purpose of the relationship is to further your sexual exprience with someone that you trust, then does it matter how you see each other out of the bedroom?
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Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 12:36 am
But, for most female-beings have the tendancy to get attatched to the men we sleep with, or the men that we want to sleep with. That's why so many female hearts have been broken by men who have used the words "i love you" just as a lie to get that female into bed.
a great man once said:
any man can romance a different woman every night,
but it takes a skilled man to romance the same woman for a lifetime.
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Posted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 11:46 am
Your genitals work at 13 for a reason.
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 1:20 am
[_ LuNcH _] Your genitals work at 13 for a reason. Yeah, we were all ment to get married young you know eek There's too much pornography these days. Just cause it starts to work doesn't mean you gotta go out and use it right away. You have to let hormones settle and before going out and making a huge mistake or influencing a friend on making a huge mistake. I regret my first time and so do many other people i know. Being horny doesn't make it love, and when you finally do find your love, either you or they will be sad that you didn't save it for them. Finding out your partner has been with more people than you have fingers is not fun. It's disturbing. gonk
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Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 3:13 am
[BTW, I love "Every you every me!"]
I don't think the friends with benefits things really works. Everyone I know who was, one always started to grow feelings for the other, then that just doesn't work out because one always seems to get really hurt.
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Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 12:52 am
Yeh, feelings are too often developed in situations such as those. I think usually if you want to be friends with benefits with someone then you have some sort of feelings for them in the first place. Either that or you're just extremely horney, too horney to care.
There is a difference between friends with benefits and a sex partner and/or person you know who you sleep with occationally. Usually friend with benifits implies that you know the person well, hang out with them/chat with them more than once a month, and don't just know them because you have a class with the or work with them. When you already have that bond that friends usually share you usually already have an emotional connection to them. So, add sex into all of that and it's practically a relationship with a few untied notts.
psst! never let a friend in if you think they might get attached and you know you don't want that. It will ruin friendships!
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 9:49 am
It all depends on whos comfortable with what.
You need to decided for yourself if you are comfortable and your partner is.
Make sure it's safe for the both of you because you don't want any unexpected accidents or situations to occur.
Other than that it's fine.
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