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Hey, this is a story that River_lullaby and I wrote in her profile trading one sentence at a time. Her then I and so on. Feel free to comment. Anyway here it is:


Infinity and James's Great Escape

Once there was a great city, with a great city park in the middle where two squirrels, one that liked jazz and another who studied calligraphy in her free time, lived in trees on either end of the park. Now it may seem odd to you that a squirrel would love jazz and one would enjoy calligraphy, but none really knows what really goes on in a squirrels life; they are really much more intelligent than we humans give them credit for (especially those that practice calligraphy). In reality though squirrels are very active animals and actually live much in the way humans do, but disguise this life style when seen by humans to avoid conversation with what they consider to be a lower life form.

Now James was a very musically inclined and slightly annoying squirrel that had a hard time doing anything wrong, unlike Infinity who believed that it was okay to bend the rules as far as possible without breaking them of course. As you might guess, when James and Infinity went places together, Infinity had a way of getting James into trouble. You'd think he'd learn his lesson and stay away from Infinity, but for some reason that baffles scientists and psychiatrists everywhere, he kept hanging out with her.

Once Infinity convinced James they should go to a certain nightclub run by some local owls. Now, as you may know, owls and squirrels don't exactly get along. In fact not exactly is an understatement- they get along like an ice cube gets along with a midsummer Texas sidewalk.

Of course James was against going to the nightclub, but, as always, Infinity won the argument, and off to the nightclub they went.

They arrived at the overpopulated nightclub at a little after dark, just as the night’s first stars began flickering in worlds unnoticed by the city dwellers.

Infinity walked through the club like she owned the place, dancing with all sorts of critters, but James stayed in the corner, as if he was afraid his own shadow would turn into an owl and devour him. Though he felt like a coward he knew his fear was well based, but then, after thirty or so odd minutes, he began easing into the party mood. Infinity, seeing James's uneasiness, requested some swing music, and demanded that James dance with her and, "show these critters what real dancing looked like."

Being well studied in the art of East Coast swing dancing, James and Infinity attracted the attention of all as they gracefully and powerfully flew across the dance floor, including the attention of several jealous owls. It is not a good idea to make owls jealous though for they turn vicious, and that is not good for those they tend to call dinner. As soon as the song finished the room fell silent and still with the exception of a shadowy figure in the back of the room.

The ominous figure in the back of the room was none other than Fat Al the Foul Owl, the best know swing dancer the owl community has ever known. Fat Al had been looking for a someone new to dance with and thought Infinity might make a good partner, and James a good lunch.

As much as Infinity loved to dance, she did not want to be Fat Al's partner, and for several good reasons too. First, there was the fact that Al smelled like a month-past sell-by-date gallon of whole milk. Not only that, but he was five times her size, and there was one other thing, the most important reason, why Infinity did not want to be his partner. See, while not the most amazing and charming squirrel, James meant more to infinity than a sandwich (which is what Al sought to make him). James was in fact, Infinity's best friend and she really didn't want anything bad to happen to him (although she'd never let him know that; he'd never let her hear the end of it). The dilemma then was how to let Al down and get out with both their lives intact. This may seem impossible for those who don't know Infinity and James, but to those who do... well, it still looked impossible, but they weren't going to give up so easily.

James thought of only one way to distract Al, and that was to confuse him, so he told an odd joke- "So there were two books were on a shelf and one said to the other 'Can you pass the binding glue?' and the other one turned to thefirst and said 'What do I look like, an umbrella?'.

Now owls are not stupid, in fact they are rather smart, so Fat Al thought James had told him a riddle, instead of a very bad joke. Naturally, Al closed his eyes in deep concentration. Infinity tugged James towards the exit, and they were almost out the door when two of Fat Al's flunkies barred their escape. As James prepared to tell his "joke" again, Infinity launched into a terrifying spin kick knocking the flunkie on the left into the wall, rendering him unconscious. Before she assaulted the next flunkie, she was kind enough to ask him, "Will you please move, or would you like to end up like your friend over there... or worse?"

Once out of the building Infinity turned to James and said with a grin, "Now that, James, is how you get things done, not by telling pointless jokes... if you can call that a joke."

"Hey now," James replied, "If I hadn't distracted Al we'd both be breakfast. You did kick some, well you know, though."

“Oh please that over-stuffed bird wouldn't stand a chance against me," Infinity replied with a grin almost as big as her lie.

“Let’s hope we don’t find out,” James noted changing Infinity’s grin to contemplation, “I’m glad we survived though, I couldn’t help thinking what would happen if you got hurt."

"I don't get hurt James... I give it," she said with a devilish grin.

“Give hurt,” James thought to himself, “So that’s what she gave me last Christmas.” He looked at Infinity noting her devilish grin, “Boy, I wonder what we’re doing tomorrow night.”

I like it... is there more?

Maybe someday... maybe someday...