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 Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 5:55 am
I've been diagnosed with rapid-cycling bipolar disorder. I'd been noticing things a few months before diagnosis, such as: Mood swings, sex drive like nobody's buisness, and of course, hallucinations.
The halucinations last about 10 minutes or longer, usually when I'm by myself. I start feeling dizzy, then everything slows down and turns into patterns and beats, I see the outlines of people that aren't there out of the corners of my eyes and I tend to get extremly thirsty. Is this truly explainable? If so, might my medication (Depakoate) have an effect on this?
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 6:13 am
Lemmie get all the facts down in one post.
-I am Rapid-Cycling Bipolar
-I get halucinations at random times with little or no warning. usually makes me paranoid and I see outlines of people that are not there and everything slows down.
-I take Straterra (100mg)
-I take Depakoate (500mg)
-I'm 14 years of age
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 2:45 pm
no replies? crying
I had one at school today, my teacher was talking and all of his words just started molding together. I was originally talking to my friend, but I just froze, the world was collapseing on my head. My friend said something, but I couldn't reply. The teacher walked over to me and kept on accusing me of being high, but I couldn't even rebuttle, my lips felt to heavy to speak out of. A few minutes later it stopped altogether and my friend said that my eyes were really red.
I am getting worried that I might end up canatonic. sad
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 4:06 pm
I was going to say that I experience similar things, then I realized that your experiences are far more dramatic than mine. I feel sometimes like the world is winding down to a crawl. It never fully stops, but I start feelings as if my thoughts and actions are moving through very thick molasses. It's kinda weird and uncomfortable, but it's actually really good for my philosophy classes, wherein I actually have to slowly come to understand the concepts as opposed to speeding through data and analysis like I have to do with political science.
EDIT: I should also mention that it seems that time itself slows down with my thoughts. I actually tried looking at a watch when it happened once, and I saw that the seconds actually did seem to go by slower. At other times, the opposite happens. My thoughts speed to breakneck rapidity. Time appears to move normally, and I feel like I'm moving extraordinarily fast. I don't talk much when I'm like this because I'm frustrated by my mouth's functional incapacity to keep up with my thoughts. Also because, when I do try to speak, I rarely make sense. One thought it uttered, three more follow, and the fifth is spoken aloud, so the person listening only gets one and five and wonders how the hell I went from ordering lunch to discussing the texture of volcanic rocks. It's an odd time.
I'm also unmedicated and terribly uninformed where it comes to medication. Until now, I'd been dealing with my issues as if I had borderline personality disorder, which I might still have, and dissociative identity disorder, the symptoms of which I experience appear to be tied to my bipolarity and are not actually DID, though they come really close.
All things aside, *hugs you.* Even if I can't really help, I'm glad to do that. 3nodding
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Posted: Tue May 03, 2005 3:12 am
That happens to me but not often and not as dramatic as what you are describing. Incedently it happened most when I was on Depakote. I recommend telling your therapist. It may be part of the disorder but it might be a side effect of your medication.
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Posted: Tue May 03, 2005 7:33 pm
*hugs* I have no idea what type of bipolar I have, only that I'm being treated for it with 100mg of Lamictil. My sex-drive is crazy, and it sucks, because no one is interested (part of my social anxiety and complete lack of self-esteem) My mood swings are infrequent and almost always triggered (could say I'm trigger-happy, ANYthing can set me off). I got really pissed today when my friends decided to blow leaves off the table, and the leaves came towards me. I was sort of stable after that, though. I sometimes zone out on nothing. End up staring at something and not actually THINKING about anything. I find that this works best if you set your eyes to autopilot and zone out on your teacher. Mine just think I'm absorbing stuff. ^^;;;
Meh. I go from 7:30--3:30 tomorrow, without a lunch break or more than 5 minutes time between classes. *makes face* I hate it...
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Posted: Tue May 03, 2005 7:54 pm
Angellen *hugs* I have no idea what type of bipolar I have, only that I'm being treated for it with 100mg of Lamictil. My sex-drive is crazy, and it sucks, because no one is interested (part of my social anxiety and complete lack of self-esteem) My mood swings are infrequent and almost always triggered (could say I'm trigger-happy, ANYthing can set me off). I got really pissed today when my friends decided to blow leaves off the table, and the leaves came towards me. I was sort of stable after that, though. I sometimes zone out on nothing. End up staring at something and not actually THINKING about anything. I find that this works best if you set your eyes to autopilot and zone out on your teacher. Mine just think I'm absorbing stuff. ^^;;; Meh. I go from 7:30--3:30 tomorrow, without a lunch break or more than 5 minutes time between classes. *makes face* I hate it... That thing with your mood swings, sounds exactly like me. Hmm... I feel the school thing, we have a similar schedule some days...
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 7:09 pm
JoVo I was going to say that I experience similar things, then I realized that your experiences are far more dramatic than mine. I feel sometimes like the world is winding down to a crawl. It never fully stops, but I start feelings as if my thoughts and actions are moving through very thick molasses. It's kinda weird and uncomfortable, but it's actually really good for my philosophy classes, wherein I actually have to slowly come to understand the concepts as opposed to speeding through data and analysis like I have to do with political science. EDIT: I should also mention that it seems that time itself slows down with my thoughts. I actually tried looking at a watch when it happened once, and I saw that the seconds actually did seem to go by slower. At other times, the opposite happens. My thoughts speed to breakneck rapidity. Time appears to move normally, and I feel like I'm moving extraordinarily fast. I don't talk much when I'm like this because I'm frustrated by my mouth's functional incapacity to keep up with my thoughts. Also because, when I do try to speak, I rarely make sense. One thought it uttered, three more follow, and the fifth is spoken aloud, so the person listening only gets one and five and wonders how the hell I went from ordering lunch to discussing the texture of volcanic rocks. It's an odd time. I'm also unmedicated and terribly uninformed where it comes to medication. Until now, I'd been dealing with my issues as if I had borderline personality disorder, which I might still have, and dissociative identity disorder, the symptoms of which I experience appear to be tied to my bipolarity and are not actually DID, though they come really close. All things aside, *hugs you.* Even if I can't really help, I'm glad to do that. 3nodding Thank you JoVi, you should consult someone about that unmedicated thing. If not, swallow a big ol' nugget of pot and you should stabilize for a week maybe. (I do this in addition with my meds and I just figured out that the lack of it makes me trip.)
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 7:10 pm
Rorek That happens to me but not often and not as dramatic as what you are describing. Incedently it happened most when I was on Depakote. I recommend telling your therapist. It may be part of the disorder but it might be a side effect of your medication. Thank you for suggesting that, but...My therapist retired a week ago and I am going to a new one in two days. So I will bring it up.
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 7:20 pm
Angellen *hugs* I have no idea what type of bipolar I have, only that I'm being treated for it with 100mg of Lamictil. My sex-drive is crazy, and it sucks, because no one is interested (part of my social anxiety and complete lack of self-esteem) My mood swings are infrequent and almost always triggered (could say I'm trigger-happy, ANYthing can set me off). I got really pissed today when my friends decided to blow leaves off the table, and the leaves came towards me. I was sort of stable after that, though. I sometimes zone out on nothing. End up staring at something and not actually THINKING about anything. I find that this works best if you set your eyes to autopilot and zone out on your teacher. Mine just think I'm absorbing stuff. ^^;;; Meh. I go from 7:30--3:30 tomorrow, without a lunch break or more than 5 minutes time between classes. *makes face* I hate it... (I could tell the lack of self esteem thing because of the mask and the nakedness) You seem to have Type 2 Bipolar disorder. You don't remain in a single spot and your brainwave patterns are irregular, meaning that you are completely at the mercy of your enviroment. I suggest a mood stabilizer or an epilepsy medication. The reason for this is that the brainwave patterns need to be regularized and the bar needs to be lowered. But please consult your doctor before making any decisions. BTW, How long have you been on lamictal and what is your age?
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 10:05 pm
Black_Foxx113 Angellen *hugs* I have no idea what type of bipolar I have, only that I'm being treated for it with 100mg of Lamictil. My sex-drive is crazy, and it sucks, because no one is interested (part of my social anxiety and complete lack of self-esteem) My mood swings are infrequent and almost always triggered (could say I'm trigger-happy, ANYthing can set me off). I got really pissed today when my friends decided to blow leaves off the table, and the leaves came towards me. I was sort of stable after that, though. I sometimes zone out on nothing. End up staring at something and not actually THINKING about anything. I find that this works best if you set your eyes to autopilot and zone out on your teacher. Mine just think I'm absorbing stuff. ^^;;; Meh. I go from 7:30--3:30 tomorrow, without a lunch break or more than 5 minutes time between classes. *makes face* I hate it... (I could tell the lack of self esteem thing because of the mask and the nakedness) You seem to have Type 2 Bipolar disorder. You don't remain in a single spot and your brainwave patterns are irregular, meaning that you are completely at the mercy of your enviroment. I suggest a mood stabilizer or an epilepsy medication. The reason for this is that the brainwave patterns need to be regularized and the bar needs to be lowered. But please consult your doctor before making any decisions. BTW, How long have you been on lamictal and what is your age? I've been on lamictil maybe 6-ish months (not quite sure) and I'm 15.
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 5:59 am
Angellen Black_Foxx113 Angellen *hugs* I have no idea what type of bipolar I have, only that I'm being treated for it with 100mg of Lamictil. My sex-drive is crazy, and it sucks, because no one is interested (part of my social anxiety and complete lack of self-esteem) My mood swings are infrequent and almost always triggered (could say I'm trigger-happy, ANYthing can set me off). I got really pissed today when my friends decided to blow leaves off the table, and the leaves came towards me. I was sort of stable after that, though. I sometimes zone out on nothing. End up staring at something and not actually THINKING about anything. I find that this works best if you set your eyes to autopilot and zone out on your teacher. Mine just think I'm absorbing stuff. ^^;;; Meh. I go from 7:30--3:30 tomorrow, without a lunch break or more than 5 minutes time between classes. *makes face* I hate it... (I could tell the lack of self esteem thing because of the mask and the nakedness) You seem to have Type 2 Bipolar disorder. You don't remain in a single spot and your brainwave patterns are irregular, meaning that you are completely at the mercy of your enviroment. I suggest a mood stabilizer or an epilepsy medication. The reason for this is that the brainwave patterns need to be regularized and the bar needs to be lowered. But please consult your doctor before making any decisions. BTW, How long have you been on lamictal and what is your age? I've been on lamictil maybe 6-ish months (not quite sure) and I'm 15. that is odd, the medicine should work. Did you know about the rash thing? Lamictal can cause a rash if your body rejects it and it could end up killing you, but you should be fine by now. Um, as for the big mood swings, do you ever enter a sad-and-lonely-like state? Do you ever end up in a happy-with-everything-like-state? one more question. Does your whole sex drive thing make you do (oddness) things? (Plz don't tell me if it's nasty, I'm not a sexual psychiatrist, just a psychiatrist in training for mood disorders.) And does it ever get in the way of important things?
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 3:33 pm
I'm supposed to be taking Lamictal, myself. I don't because (1) it's too expensive, and (2) I know enough about myself to control my reactions to things without medication. While I obviously can't control my perceptions or my emotions, and neither would I want to, I can always control the way that I react to them if I get enough food and rest.
It'd be a lot more difficult to live without meds if I take them and never practice modifying my actions. Like anything, free will takes practice to learn how to control it effectively.
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 6:19 pm
JoVo I'm supposed to be taking Lamictal, myself. I don't because (1) it's too expensive, and (2) I know enough about myself to control my reactions to things without medication. While I obviously can't control my perceptions or my emotions, and neither would I want to, I can always control the way that I react to them if I get enough food and rest. It'd be a lot more difficult to live without meds if I take them and never practice modifying my actions. Like anything, free will takes practice to learn how to control it effectively. JoVo, you are an extrodanary person. You have the ability to do something that nobody has ever done, taken control without extraneous help.
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 7:26 pm
Black_Foxx113 Angellen Black_Foxx113 Angellen *hugs* I have no idea what type of bipolar I have, only that I'm being treated for it with 100mg of Lamictil. My sex-drive is crazy, and it sucks, because no one is interested (part of my social anxiety and complete lack of self-esteem) My mood swings are infrequent and almost always triggered (could say I'm trigger-happy, ANYthing can set me off). I got really pissed today when my friends decided to blow leaves off the table, and the leaves came towards me. I was sort of stable after that, though. I sometimes zone out on nothing. End up staring at something and not actually THINKING about anything. I find that this works best if you set your eyes to autopilot and zone out on your teacher. Mine just think I'm absorbing stuff. ^^;;; Meh. I go from 7:30--3:30 tomorrow, without a lunch break or more than 5 minutes time between classes. *makes face* I hate it... (I could tell the lack of self esteem thing because of the mask and the nakedness) You seem to have Type 2 Bipolar disorder. You don't remain in a single spot and your brainwave patterns are irregular, meaning that you are completely at the mercy of your enviroment. I suggest a mood stabilizer or an epilepsy medication. The reason for this is that the brainwave patterns need to be regularized and the bar needs to be lowered. But please consult your doctor before making any decisions. BTW, How long have you been on lamictal and what is your age? I've been on lamictil maybe 6-ish months (not quite sure) and I'm 15. that is odd, the medicine should work. Did you know about the rash thing? Lamictal can cause a rash if your body rejects it and it could end up killing you, but you should be fine by now. Um, as for the big mood swings, do you ever enter a sad-and-lonely-like state? Do you ever end up in a happy-with-everything-like-state? one more question. Does your whole sex drive thing make you do (oddness) things? (Plz don't tell me if it's nasty, I'm not a sexual psychiatrist, just a psychiatrist in training for mood disorders.) And does it ever get in the way of important things? Yes, I was aware, I actually warned someone of that in the medication thread not long ago. Um, it actually works better than my prozac ever did, and for the most part I'm more or less stable (without it, I'm not stable in the slightest). As for the sad and lonely state, I used to have pretty severe unipolar depression, so yeah. My manic stages aren't completely top-of-the-world mania, I'll just have REALLY happy moments. Mood swings are always (or at least most of the time) triggered for me, at least for the most part, and are usually pretty short. As for the sex-drive....I'm not sure what you mean by "oddness"--I just get horny a lot, and can't really do anything about it...
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