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 Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 9:37 pm
This is a story I wrote some time ago. We'll see.
Happy Butterflies
Most butterflies are happy, even the ugly little grey ones that no one likes.
There are however a few angry not so charming, unhappy, butterflies. They’re commonly found in law offices, hospitals, and other highly depressing places such as the bottom of hiking boots.
This story is not about butterflies.
This story is about a person named Joe. His parents named him Joe because it rhymed with toe and he had ten of those. This made him feel very unique and special. This story however, is not about toes and Joe was not a butterfly.
When he was very young, about 12, Joe discovered he had the special ability to lie flawlessly and convincingly to unreasonable extents. Given this attribute, he began building great hopes of attending law school and becoming a famous lawyer and politician. This hope was snuffed out, unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), on a warm July 14 when a turtle fell out of the air and hit him on the head killing him at the age of twenty-eight. There were several butterflies at the funeral.
You may at this point ask yourself where this story is going. Well that is a very good and fair question. Thank you for asking.
Cindy had ten toes, but was not a great liar. She did however have a pet turtle. Both Cindy and the turtle had been on a plane on July 14th.
Also on this plane was Janice the flight attendant. She had been terribly distraught since her boyfriend had recently not shown up for a date.
The pilot, who shall remain nameless because we don’t really care, was sitting in the pilot’s seat flying the plane (which is a very good place for a pilot to be), when Janice brought him his steaming hot coffee. In her distressed state, she slipped on an unnoticed banana peel and spilled the coffee in the pilots lap. The pilot, fairly upset at the moment, jumped up suddenly and accidentally hit the little red button that no one should hit under any circumstance- even spilled coffee. The plane instantly exploded killing many inhabitants including three helpless butterflies and launched a confused turtle to his lugubrious gloom.
A certain William sat in a jail cell where he had been the night before for drunk driving on his way to meet his girlfriend Janice. Even worse, he had just found out that his lawyer was killed by a sky-diving turtle. Little did he know of the catastrophic events he was partially responsible for.
The morale of the story: Drunk driving kills. And butterflies are adorable.
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Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 8:00 am
A strange series of chain events, it's like The Island of Lost Children. By the way and I don't mean to nit pick but you might want to work on this sentance...."Also on this plane was Janice the flight attendant. She had just before been stood up by her boyfriend the day before and was terribly distraught."
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princess_Im_bored Captain
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Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 11:04 am
Yeah, I find that sentence akward too. I'll try to fix it.
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:50 am
Anyone who can make death funny is either insane or a good writer...i leave it up to you to decide which xp
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~Lady~ ~Luna~ Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 8:53 pm
I'll help you out... he's insane! And I speak from actually knowing him...
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 11:42 am
That's funny! rofl It makes it so much funnier how you tell the events in reverse order. He dies, then you tell what caused his death, then you tell what caused the cause of his death. Also, the bufferflies are completely random and pointless to the story, therefore hilarious. Nice moral.
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 11:04 am
yes..I agree...I beleive this story was just as funny as the penguin story!!! *wich had me doing lol rofl
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