Welcome to Gaia! ::

To start off, and clear this up, I am female in real life. I am married. My husband's name is Nicholas.

Now, I have a dilema. As of today Nicholas has a job, at Walmart as a cashier. I applied for the same job but for some reason I didn't get it. This bothers me because when it comes to jobs, I work my a** off. Nicholas works, but not like I do. Before I met him, I never skipped work, or took long lunches or any other such irresponsible behaviors. Not bashing, just explaining. They hired Nicholas and not me. neutral I filled out all the papers, answered all the questions, double checked everything and left emptyhanded. He left with the paperwork for a drugtest in hand. confused I'm not bashing my husband but even he knows I work harder than he does. I deserve the job. He does too, but I mean, what the ******** is so wrong with me that I can't even get hired at WALMART. Seriously! What the hell?

That's not my dilema though. We had decided if we didn't have job's by this Wednesday we would go live with my Dad. Well, I'm happy that he got the job, I really am, but now I have to be here another 4 months with the bashing and the bitching and I really don't know if I can take it anymore. I'm on the verge of killing someone.. Well not murder really, but I would really really like to scream and throw some punches.

I've grown up alot down here. I'm more responsible. I know how to keep my temper in check. neutral I also know that even though I'm glad I'm not a selfish little brat anymore, I really don't think the growth is worth the price.

I have been through more humiliation, pain, and mental abuse in the last 8 months than in my whole childhood. I had a pretty ******** up childhood.. neutral At this point I would almost welcome the daily beatings I used to get. At least if it was physical abuse I could fight back. Let me say that again. I could fight back. In all this time I have not been allowed to say one goddamned thing to defend myself.

Now I have the dilema. I can stay here for another four months with my wonderful (not sarcasm I swear) husband, with access to a car, regular meals, and 24/7 abuse, or I can go back to live with my Dad, without my husband, without access to a car, without regular meals.. You know what? I would rather starve than be here. The only thing that is keeping me here is that I don't want to be away from my husband for more than I have to be.

He will be shipping off for basic training (Navy) in August. So either way I will be living at my Father's without him. So the question is, do I stay here, looking for a job I will never get, being mentally/emotionally abused for four months (but with access to food and hubby), or do I go live with my Dad without access to food or hubby, but abuse free? I mean I should be able to get a job in North Texas okay. I'll just apply where my Dad works. They hire pretty much anyone. I want input please. neutral

If you read the whole thing you have my respect and thanks.

Unfortunately no there is no way. They wouldn't take me back. I'm currently living with in-laws, which is the source of the abuse. They've been trying to break up our marriage since they met me.

He defends me. He hates what they are doing, but without his family we would quite literally be homeless. They have helped as more than my family could, but they feel that because they are helping they have every right to mentally and emotionally abuse us. He gets it too, but what he gets is nearly always them picking me to bits. They never liked me, and are always telling him he should leave me, he can do better, etc etc.

I've been where you've been.
Har o.<
I'm living with my in laws right now, and although pride and stubborness would have me somewhere else, I am staying put.
I have to live with a disguisting alcoholic father in law.
I've lived with them since Nov, and I'll be here until July. (Because dammit, that's when our debt'll paid off and I can get the heck outta here. Damn I hate michigan.)
Put it to you this way...you love your husband, and at least where you are you're safe and can be taken care of. That's more important than anything. If your husband has to worry about you not eating and your health being neglected...he's not gonna do well in basic. He's going to need you. There will be times when he's going to feel like crap because that's what they do in basic. He's going to want out, he's going to feel lonely and miss you a lot, and if you aren't some place where he can call you it makes his basic training a living hell.

Deal with the inlaws. It's not forever. When he gets stationed, you can get teh ******** out. Plus is torture for them to see you walk around their house all day and they can't do s**t about it really. You're their beloved sons wifey. One day you'll have kids and then what?? You wont forget how they treated you...hehehheheh.

If you need me to talk to about it, I have aim, yim and msn messenger, my messengers are always on.
^_^

yay!!!

I'm settled in here at my Dad's. Hubby is calling daily. We chat online when we can. He ships out May 9th. Then I need to get a job. >.>