Curled up in the cool, sweet darkness of his room Hira was sound asleep and dreaming. It was a pleasant dream, and his back paw twitched as he ran through the field in his mind. It was the sort of dream scenario he wouldn’t allow himself to entertain while conscious. It involved a family, a place for him to belong that he didn’t have to continually fear being ripped away. A space where he could cause mischief that was born of love and a desire for laughter. Not just one of chaos and coping mechanisms.
Shifting in the throes of sleep his dream world faded away to white yellow light. He blinked sleepily at the shaft of sunlight falling directly across his eyes. Feeling irritable he growled low and twisted to use his wing as a shade. Noting the throbbing and wooshing of his head decrease without the light he reflexively curled his tail around himself. This was immediately followed by a startled yelp as his wet tail draped over his nose. Another growl sounded as he suspiciously glared at absolutely nothing. After a heartbeat of hesitation Hira gave his nose an experimental lick.
He recognized the flavors of the pho base used by the local shop immediately. But it wasn’t soured, foul, bad tasting, or even the blend he hated. Why would someone have played a trick on him without it tasting badly? Fully awake now he tasted what was left in the bowl. The suspicion that had taken root in his gut took a completely unsuspected side road. It was his blend….Hira’s personal favorite recipe. There was simply no way for anyone else to have made this! Feeling like he was pushing himself to think through molasses Hira tried to remember the night before.
Shifting irritably his gaze was caught by multicolored twinkles along his left forepaw, standing out starkly against the white of his fur. Hira grew more confused as to why he’d been up to that resulted in being covered in glitter.It was then he saw the small array of pride flags that lay just beside where his head had been.
Each flag was placed with care and intention, the fabric smoothed out carefully. First was Genderqueer flag. Above and to the right was the Toric flag and beside it was that of Agender. Completing the half circle and mirroring the Genderqueer flag was that of the Men Loving Men. In the center was a well loved Demisexual flag- his own. The one he’d carried at his first pride event many many years ago, after he’d come out.
Memories crashed in haphazardly of the epic pride party of the day before. The strobing lights of the rave, the blue sky and bright sun he still maintained was trying to kill him. Getting a glitter blessing from the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence wishing that he’d find *his* place. Laughter and camaraderie from the crowd, how friendly everyone was with one another. The group that had somehow gravitated together mid-day, and spent the day together. Going bar crawling all together as it got late. And of course his boasting just how well he could handle himself, the way they responded with gentle kindness rather than egging him on. Realization of just how much he’d drank…not trying to drown out emotions but rather in celebration of life, laughter, and love.
Hira sat down abruptly, and for the first time today really looked at his bedside table….. and the bowls of pho it held.
