This is a solo RP between Nise-e and an NPC Herdmate named Raya, both are owned by(Nayci)

Warning: The solo RP within deals with issues of PTSD, depression, and anxiety.

Flowers found within:
Red - Orchids (strength, courage)
White - Daffodils (sincerity, new beginnings)
Pink - Poppies (rest, good fortune, grace)

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User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.Time is said to heal. The further you get from pain, the further that pain falls into memory, and eventually disappears. For Nise-e, in all her time being in the kawani, had once thought that to be the truth. But, in reality, she learned far too late of the falsities of that line of thinking. A naive way of viewing the world. Time did not heal. It only caused scars. Scars that would forever etch not just her physical being, but her mental well-being, too. Xander once told her it was okay that she once felt that way. Had that naive view of the world. It was a part of learning life's lessons.

But.

If that was the case, then why wouldn't he have told her that sooner? Why did he allow her to live the life that colored her eyes in rose-tinted hues? In a way, she felt betrayed by him because of that, spurned by her lack of knowledge, and him knowing that it could hurt her. She should have been warned. Should have been taught that reality could be much harsher, much darker, than she could have ever anticipated otherwise. Since that fateful day when their herd was attacked, when both of them came so close to returning to the spirits against their wills, Nise-e had been adrift. Floating through life as if in a waking nightmare she still couldn't escape from, even with therapy. Now, as she sat amongst the grass and flowers, she couldn't help but wonder what would be next for them both.

“Lost in thought again?”

Nise-e looked up and saw one of her fellow herdmates, an older mare that had seen the world for longer than she. Had probably seen things that even Nise-e had not.

“I guess...”

Her herdmate smiled softly, “May I join you for a bit? It's quiet here.”

Nise-e shrugged noncommittally, but didn't flinch when her herdmate sat beside her in the softness of the grass, surrounded by orchids, daffodils, and poppies.

The quiet surrounded them once more, but not an unwelcome one.

“Others say you and Xander still have knots to untie, and you still like to seclude yourself from others, moreso than usual. Do you want to talk about it?”

A frown,“Did Idris put you up to this?”

“Would the answer matter?”

No.

No, it wouldn't.

Nise-e sighed and spoke quietly, “even with therapy, the nightmares still come. I can still feel the touches of death, flame, and ruin. I haven't been able to escape that day.”

Her herdmate looked around their little sanctuary before landing her gaze back on the painted flutter.

“I don't claim to be a therapist, so I can't speak for the nightmares. But, do you know what I see?”

When Nise-e shook her head, the mare continued, “Do you see those red orchids over there? They mean to have courage. You've pushed through those nightmares and continue to persevere. And those pink poppies just a little further? They mean to rest and give grace. You've been so hard on yourself, and I trust me, I get it. I once was, too. You must give yourself grace, the space to acknowledge that what has happened can't be changed, and it's okay that it can't. It's okay to have those bad days mixed with good. And rest when you need to, to not push yourself to the brink of collapse.” She then nodded over to the white daffodils, “With that grace you need to give yourself, and the strength you've already shown, you can bring about the new beginnings you desire. Healing will never be linear. And that's okay. Time is not your enemy. It only provides the baseline in which you walk your path.”

Nise-e averted her eyes from looking back at the other mare, or was she a friend? She didn't think she had many since things had been scattered. But she had to acknowledge that this wasn't the first time this specific herdmate had found her, providing a steady, most of the time, silent companion when she was off on her own in her own little world.

“I don't think you found this place by accident, Nise-e.”

“What do you mean?”

“You've come here the most these past few months. Sat within these flowers. Taking in everything but what I feel the spirits are trying to tell you.”

“I...”

“You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. And your sincerity in that desire to live and overcome will bring you happiness again. It will come.”

Silence fell over them once more as Nise-e mulled over the spoken words.

“...Thank you, Raya.”

“No need to thank me, Nise-e. We all can use support from time to time. It's what friends do for each other.”

Yes. Raya was a friend.

A small smile perched on Nise-e's lips. Yes, she had kept pushing through the nightmares, anxiety attacks, and depression. Kept pushing despite the pain. Kept pushing through day after day despite the exhaustion she felt on those bad days. Sometimes even the good. Maybe Raya had a point? With a blink, she felt Raya's muzzle moving around parts of her hair.

“What are you--”

“Giving you a physical reminder for when you have those bad days.”

Nise-e stood up after a moment when Raya pulled away, and walked slowly over to the little pond that was nearby. Nestled within her strands of mane were a small collection of those orchids, daffodils, and poppies. A gentle reminder of what the spirits sought to tell her. With a slight tilt of her head to regard her new reflection, Nise-e made another decision.

It was time to untie those knots with Xander.

And maybe with Idris too, for he was so dear to her. To that thought, she subtly shook her head to hide the blush that fought to color her cheeks. Now was not the time to deal with those musings.

Things would get better. And now she had a reminder she could take with her day to day.

Today, maybe she could believe that time was not her constant enemy.

- FIN -