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 Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2026 10:41 pm
Fire Ant Fiasco (14) : Fire ants are an unfortunate part of summer, but this year they're worse than ever. It's bad enough that they're so plentiful, but their bites also burn far more intensely than usual. What begins as a sharp sting quickly spreads into a sensation that feels like liquid fire running through your veins. The heat can become overwhelming. Some victims compare it to a severe allergic reaction; others insist it feels as though they are overheating from the inside out. Skin may flush, muscles may ache, and everything can suddenly feel unbearable. The effects are painful, but never lethal. Cold showers, ice packs, frozen treats, and air conditioning can provide temporary relief, but there is no known cure beyond waiting it out. For some, the symptoms fade within minutes. For others, the feverish sensation can linger for hours. No one knows what's causing these unusually aggressive reactions, but you should probably be extra careful outside this year.
For Bamburgh, though, it had so far been anything but peaceful. This was the third time he'd smacked some portion of his body, though the first couple of times had been a more muffled sound—the first was on his arm, the second on his shoulder. This time he'd smacked the back of his neck, and when he brought his hand to see if there was anything, he was glad to see a small, shriveled up body of the ant that he assumed was responsible for his troubles.
"Got you, you bloody little–"
Several choice words very fluidly fell from his lips, and then he dusted his hand off before reaching up to scratch at the back of his neck where the effects of the stinging bite were quickly starting to spread. The first two bites had already gotten him to the point of feeling like he was about to spontaneously combust, and beyond that he also felt like he'd just done a full body workout even though all he'd done for the past half hour or so was walk around the park.
"The park was your first mistake," he muttered to himself as he glanced in the general direction of an Order signature that suddenly came to the edge of his awareness. He started for it, still muttering.
"Indoors is always a better idea, but does 'patrolling' even happen indoors? What about..."
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2026 7:00 pm
“I’m not sure that you can patrol indoors.” Trier’s voice rang out as she made her way closer to Bramburgh, amusement in it.
“Good to see you again, I hope there’s no wolves this time…or.” She paused and suddenly looked a little wary. “You haven’t seen any nests of eggs have you? There’s this demonic chicken cryptid out there now. He’s. Nasty.”
Pausing, Trier furrowed her brows. “Or…I guess it’s a she, if she’s nesting…I hadn’t really considered that but. It makes baba yaga’s house look almost normal…Why are you so itchy?”
Was there more that she had to be wary of? Or maybe it was just the fireflies. She hadn’t seen any but…that didn’t mean they weren’t there.
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2026 12:16 am
Bamburgh scowled at the response, and the scowl stayed even after he recognized who had said it.
"Why the hell not?" he asked, all irritation and defiance in his tone. "Air-conditioning and protection from common pests seems like a good deal for us. Isn't risking our necks out here enough?" He very suddenly reached across his chest to smack at his shoulder this time, where the next surprise burning sensation erupted from.
"And no," he went on, the irritation suddenly bled out of his voice at the sobering thought of the possibility of running into that thing again. "I haven't seen any eggs tonight, thank god." He doubted he could handle feeling like he was on fire while also simultaneously trying to not get pecked to death while hunting for its smelly eggs. He made a face at the idea of it nesting, of all things.
"That's disturbing as hell. I'd rather not imagine what that thing looks like as a newly hatched whatever. And as for the itching–"
Slap. It was on the side of his neck this time, and he extended his hand to show her the smushed body of a fiery red ant.
"It's these little ********." He dusted the dead body off of his hand and then turned and pointed in the direction that he'd come. Just in case Trier had a streak of curiosity in her and wanted to go find out what the red ants had to offer for herself. "I must have stepped on a hill or something while I was walking through the grass."
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2026 3:47 pm
Trier…had some concerns, and while his words did make sense, and sounded good, it just…wasn’t something that could be done. “I suppose so.” Was all the grace she would give it. But.
“Ah…yeah no. I think I’ll try to crack the eggs the next time I see some. Thank you for the visual. Ah…ants?”
Not what she had been expecting, but no less concerning. “I thought we were too far north for fire ants.” Assuming that was what these were…but. Then again with global warming, with magical bullshit…anything was possible here.
“Do you want me to make sure they’re all off you? I can see your back, I mean.” She wasn’t sure why she was offering but. He was another Saturn person so. They had some kind of connection.
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2026 6:41 pm
He bit back the sarcastic "you're welcome" as they moved on to the very active problem of having the fiery red ants freely roaming across his body, unchecked and able to wreak as much havoc as they damn well pleased if he let them. "Who knows," the Page said before interrupting himself with another smack to his other arm this time. "Climate change, magic something, sick joke. No matter what, I'm still one of the unlucky bastards that's gotta deal with 'em right now."
Her offer to see his back was surprising, but before he answered his hands had already reached up to unbutton his vest. "Yeah, if you wouldn't mind, actually," he said as he undid one button first, and then immediately switched to slipping out of his jacket first before going back to his vest.
"You might be able to spot them through my shirt. It's mostly white..."
He slipped his vest off and dropped it on top of his jacket.
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2026 8:48 pm
She did kind of mind, but it was fine. It was her good deed for the day…possibly the week. If she ended up getting bit by one of these, then…well. She had gloves at least…but they were lace. Not much protection.
Trier had a weapon though and she summoned it to her hand, spotting two small red ants on his back and poking them hard with the bottom of her rod. They squished pretty well, and when she saw another heading for Bamburgh’s neck and she swiftly smashed it with the rod again. Perhaps a little too overzealously.
“Ah, sorry. There was one trying to get to your neck. I think that’s all of them, thrones on your back at least. Not sure about the others, but I think they’re gone.”
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Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2026 7:43 pm
"Ow. Ow. Ow. ******** sake," he muttered as she attacked-him-but-not-really with her weapon, soon rubbing the back of his neck where she last hit him. This was probably not what the universe imagined a knight would be using their designated magical weapon for, but. Well. He was sure there were a lot of things happening on earth, and beyond, that the universe hadn't been accounting for.
Bamburgh waved off her apology though. He asked for her help, after all. Even if it hurt, it felt distasteful to complain about the manner of help. Maybe if he were more specific next time... 'please smash these bloody ants without smashing me with them' or something like that.
"S'fine, I'll live." He smacked his stomach this time. "Thanks for getting the ones on my back. If there are more–" He smacked his own face next, and lowered his hand to see a small red body now stuck to his palm. "Might be a good time to call it a night. A shower'll get rid of 'em all, won't it?" And then he frowned, because this was Destiny City and he was a magical person.
"Or do you think they have some sort of magic something or other that would protect them from running water?"
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2026 7:35 pm
“Sorry, it was all I could think of. I have gloves but they’re lace so it didn’t seem like a great idea to get them on me as well…” Trier did feel bad about causing more pain, but at least Bamburgh would have the comfort of knowing that the ants were really dead...which was an important thing to know.
“I think, a shower might help you a lot…do you think they’ll still be on you when you go back to your normal clothing? Won’t they just…magically vanish?”
That was another good thought, and really…for his sake.
She hoped it would be what happened. “I hope that when we run into each other again…there’s not…unfortunate animals involved.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2026 5:01 pm
"It's alright," he said, waving off her apologies. "Like I said, I appreciate the help."
Her answer about the shower was reassuring, too, and while he smacked his arm as he considered the likelihood of things happening the way she described it he was still a bit hopeful. Knowing his luck, the ants would stick around, but he'd be thrilled to be wrong.
"No idea, but I hope you're right. I think I'm still gonna hop into a scalding shower as soon as I get home. Y'know. Just in case."
He smacked his shoulder at that, and nodded. "Yeah, me too. With my luck, though..." The page shook his head, sighed, and then turned to leave. "Anyway, thanks again. I owe you one."
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Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2026 4:23 pm
Trier gave a nod and a small wave goodbye. “Hopefully I won’t ever need it, but I appreciate it.”
They kept meeting due to major issue, and hopefully the next time wouldn’t be because of issues. Then again, maybe she could work on that. Maybe.
“Good luck.”
She left before he could reply, but. Maybe she would reach out again before the next crisis.
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