Welcome to Gaia! ::

True to their word, Rafayel saw Blaise start locking up the house as he shuffled up the stairs to the room he’d been in a few times now. It was more welcoming than his own family’s guest room was for him. Things didn’t go missing here, clothing didn’t get swapped out for what they thought would suit him better.

Every sound had him on edge still though, so much so that he checked the bathroom window and locked it as he worked on getting ready for the shower. He was still only in the lounge pants they’d given him to wear so he kicked them off and folded them since he’d just put them back on after.

The warm water helped, they’d been right, and a sob broke out as it really sunk in. Everything that the general said was true and now he wondered if they knew about his biggest secret. Leaning against the tile as the water ran over him, he looked down at himself and all the scratches. Even now he wanted to itch, that feeling of bugs crawling under his skin just barely there.

If only it would go away, he was certain it would be okay. But a war? All these monsters and fighting? The absolute zero frigid look the General had given him before yanking his soul out. It had him sinking to the shower floor and pulling his knees to his chest as he sobbed, not realizing or noticing how loud he was.

Hearing the other speak, even if he couldn’t make out more than a few words the first time, he could tell they were in the bedroom and moving closer. It wasn’t enough to break him out of things but he did yank the washcloth down to hide his lower half as best as he could. Shuffling back against the cold tiled more as he tried to breathe and found himself still too upset to calm down.

The knock made things more urgent, but before he said anything he heard the door opening and felt his heart sink. “Nononono don’t look,” he whined as he tried to stand and reach for a larger towel to hide things. He managed it at least before they made it fully into the bathroom and he leaned against the wall and tried to calm down, to act like everything was fine.

“I.. I couldn’t hear what you were saying really, not all of it.” Stumbling through his words as he tried to get back to washing his hair, hissing slightly as he caught his eyebrow piercing in a few strands. There was some frost on the shower’s glass but he still felt more comfortable with the towel around his waist even if it might be odd.

But then they asked a simple little question, one that he hadn’t exactly expected. He was used to people asking if he was okay when things got to him at work or with his family but never actually asking to help. So he turned at looked at them, even as they jerked the words out. He was stunned enough that it took his mind off things for just a moment. “Y-you want to help?”

Certain that they weren’t looking, he felt a bit better about scrubbing with a washcloth. His side ached and the freshest scratches stung as soap and water got in them. Hissing slightly, he turned his back to them as he scrubbed down his legs and under the towel. Letting them talk as he went gave him some time to think, even as anxiety and excitement grew with the idea of staying here.

“A-are you sure? I mean…” They’d been nice sure but he didn’t exactly get why they would help him this much. That and he wasn’t sure if he liked the idea of them watching him, if that was how they’d try to keep him from doing things. Maybe it was still the paranoia but it had him hesitating as he let the water run over him.

Them saying it was obvious that he needed help made him shrink in on himself, wrapping his arms around himself as he stood there. “I.. I don’t know.” They were trying to be inclusive which in any other situation would be nice but he worried about things still.

Biting his lip, he slowly turned the water off and turned to face them through the glass. “Does that mean it’s a no judgement zone?” Trying to get himself to sound more normal, not nearly as twitchy as he still felt. Sliding the shower door open a bit, he poked his head out to look at them, his hair a wet mop and dripping down onto the tile.

“I uh… need to do my… med thing and get dressed. Can you hand me the pants I folded at that pouch I set on the counter. And uh… either don’t look or step out? Don’t want you getting squeamish over needles…” Forcing a little laugh he reached for what he asked from them, waiting so he could hurry and get it done with.

Grabbing everything they’d handed him, he watched as they turned away to head out. He needed to think about everything they’d said, only nodding for the moment before they closed the door behind them. Moving in would be nice in a way, it meant he could maybe see about something with Blaise but… the added supervision did trigger something he didn’t exactly like in his memories. Being observed, always under scrutiny for mistakes or when he wasn’t accruing according to the mold he was supposed to be in. Shaking the thought away, he stepped out of the shower and sat on the closed toilet, prepping everything and getting his injector set up.

Once he heard the footsteps heading down the stairs, he pinched some of the fat on his thigh and did what he always had done for the past years. It never was truely painless but he preferred this over some of the other options he’d gone through in the beginning. Once he was done, he sealed everything back up and made sure he tucked the pouch into the medicine cabinet next to the other guest toiletries that were in there.

After that it was easy enough to get dried off enough to slide into the loungepants. They were baggy, which meant the fact he wasn’t dealing with boxers right now was okay. His hair only dried enough so that it wasn’t actively dripping before he peaked out of the bathroom and then headed down the stairs slowly. Leaning his weight slightly on the railing, he took his time as to not stress his side or anything else at this point.

It was hard not to stare at the front door and windows, half worried that the general might come back. Choosing to dip into the kitchen finally after nothing else seemed to move in the house, he hesitated a bit before sitting at the kitchen table. “You’ll stop him right? Tell him that I won’t cause any trouble? If he shows up that is….” Getting the biggest worry back out there, he couldn’t help the shake in his voice still. Nothing had ever been so serious before, not in a way that effected his ability to continue existing at least.

Fidgeting with his hands in front of him on the table, he nodded because that was really all he could do. They were right and he still didn’t like any of this, not one bit. Going out and doing whatever hadn’t really been something he liked outside of the anonymity of it.

“Okay… I think that maybe I should get some things to work on…” At least maybe it might be a distraction or something to keep focused on besides the worry of potentially impending doom. Exhaling shakily, he looked back up at them. “C-can you stay in the same room as me… just in case.” He felt paranoid, knew it was crazy, probably, but he was still scared. It wasn’t like either of them could do much of anything if it came down to the general showing back up but he knew he would be up all night staring at the door waiting for something to happen if he was left alone in a room.

At least they didn’t say anything else judgmental over his request, though he wondered if they thought he was crazy for it or overreacting. Chewing on his lip slightly, he shrugged. “Either my laptop to work on STL files for upcoming work designs, or maybe my kit for working with sugar and chocolate…. I wasn’t supposed to go back on my assignment for a few more days but maybe working on it might… help.” Plus, it seemed like they’d enjoyed the stuff he’d made for them before, and that might make this less awkward.

The smell of hot chocolate was welcomed as he sat there, still on edge but at least semi-confident that he might be able to get a smidge of sleep with them in the room. He felt a bit embarrassed about it still, keeping his head down as he felt his cheeks warm slightly. It was stupid; only if nothing had happened, so he was sure it might be something he got teased over later. But for now at least, nothing else terrifying had happened since they’d gotten back here.