It was a mix of things that finally brought Ekstrom back to her Wonder after a particularly extended leave. Or at least, however long she could stand to be away before getting physically sick, which manifested itself in an unfortunate variety of ways—and frequently in twos or threes—such as persistent headaches with an accompanying brain fog, severe nausea, aches and pains that seemed to come out of nowhere, or physical exhaustion such that it resulted in longer bouts of sleep than she was used to (and mind, she was used to being perfectly functional after just four hours for a long while now). She swore she could pinpoint the start of that to a little over a year ago, after she (again) drank a liquid with questionable origins but had trusted her gut (and at that time, a vision) enough to try and drink it anyway. The result had been, more often than not, to her benefit, as it enabled her to squeeze far more out of her days without the haze of sleeplessness plaguing her for any length of time. On the extremely rare occasion that it did, it was because she had opted not to sleep at all and, instead of taking a nap, decided to try and bully her way through what was left of her day with sheer willpower and copious amounts of caffeine.

But the sort of exhaustion she was experiencing now wasn't the sort that she could apparently fix with a visit to her Wonder, nor with any number of hours of sleep (and actually, more seemed to make it worse). And it wasn't just the exhaustion. The rest of the symptoms also seemed to linger even after a visit, and none of them were manageable with medications or remedies. It seemed only rest—that is, staying put and keeping to very minimal activity—and avoidance of her magic did the trick. Or, at least, did anything at all to relieve any of it. Usually just a small part, and very briefly, so it'd been a while since she last felt truly rested or recharged or well.

All of it made for a very miserable existence, both as a civilian and as a knight. She still tried, of course. Especially now that she had a bit more time on her hands. She couldn't just sit still, so she had done everything she could think would be enjoyable for herself and tried to drown out the discomfort, worries, and anxieties about her magic and the "what ifs" behind why it was happening at all. Cooking and baking between shifts, more adventures with Lulu, more yoga, more time at the gym (for as long as she could tolerate it...), more socializing and getting out with friends, more productivity somewhere in her life...

Just more. Somehow.

Which worked!

For a while, anyway, as very effective distractions. But it was like the symptoms were adapting to her attempts to overcome them, slowly but surely hitting her in stronger waves until everything eventually swept over her in a massive deluge of physical misery and mental strain.

Surprisingly, and also thankfully, that hadn't resulted in her collapsing, having some kind of a breakdown, or otherwise falling into another one of her escapist episodes that she was prone to whenever she felt so extremely overwhelmed by something. Rather, it brought her to a slightly more rational, more reasonable state of mind. She'd told a few people that she intended to talk to her Code Piece about it, and she still did! But honestly she hadn't expected to delay for as long as she had. Whatever valid reasons she had for doing it, whatever concerns about the "what ifs" and the dread around the answers to such questions that she had, now all seemed to pale in comparison to her need for answers, to understand what was going on with her, and for some relief from it all.

She had expected, when she opened her eyes, to be in her quarters. Whenever she visited her Wonder, it was the room she thought to go to first, not only because it made sense to start in a room where she could drop off Lulu if she brought her, offload whatever else she brought along, and make herself comfortable for whatever task she intended to get done before going off to go do it. And more often than not, it was where she wound up. On the few occasions that she didn't, it was because she had lost focus or otherwise had not needed to go there first and so didn't focus on trying to get there first.

Instead, she found herself face to face with the pillar in the center of the Primary Grid. Which was a first, not to mention unexpected given the security put in place to keep this room, and thus the Code Piece, well out of easy reach of anyone trying to access it. Granted most of her own struggle was the state of disrepair the Wonder was in, with more things needing to be cleared out of the way, set aside for repair or salvaging if it was beyond repair, but on further study she had found a number of things that likely served as lines of defense against intruders. Even with the vague and very splintered knowledge she had of what actually happened that caused the downfall of her Wonder, she felt she could confidently say that there was no way anyone but the Knight would have been able to access this room even if the intruders had successfully gotten past him.

There was a twinge of guilt at the acknowledgement of the previous knight. She knew full well how he must have been waiting for her, having likely witnessed the return of power to the Wonder. Now, over a year later, he was still waiting, and that was entirely on purpose, and thus—at least in her mind—entirely her fault. In that moment, as badly as she wanted to make excuses, valid or otherwise, as to why she had put it off, she reined in her thoughts and willed herself to focus on the room again, and what she was doing here.

The room itself was as dimly lit as it always was, with soft, diffuse lighting coming from the seams of the room and the quiet glow of the moving data lines of blue, white, and gold. The Code Piece sat quietly inside its glass enclosure, the frame of which was outlined by a white light that was in a sort of breathing mode, like a computer's sleep mode indicator light. The panels all around her looked seamless now, having made further repairs and some minor, strictly aesthetic, upgrades and adjustments to give it more of a sense of completeness. Whatever debris had been left over had since been taken out, and the room looked very well-maintained.

Because it was, and very intentionally so.

Ekstrom smiled at the Code Piece, her exhaustion marring the usually bright expression.

"I feel like that friend that's been rescheduling a catch-up sort of date for weeks," she said out loud, clearly at the Code Piece despite knowing that it wasn't likely to reply. She sounded tired and apologetic, then after a moment longer of staring started walking toward it. "Better late than never, though?"

She wondered what it would say to that. If it might chide her, or encourage her, or maybe one first before the other. Once it was within reach she reached up to touch the glass lightly, the movement almost absent in the way established habits could be. Her tone was one of familiarity as she started speaking, giving the Code Piece a general update since her last visit—she graduated school and adjusted her career track slightly, and was slowly working on longer-term career plans now that she was working full-time and establishing herself in her field.

"I just can't imagine myself in the same place five, or maybe even ten years from now," she said, one arm across her chest and propping up the elbow of the other as she tapped her chin with her other hand. She blinked at the phrasing and glanced at the Code Piece with an almost guilty expression.

It hadn't moved since the day it was brought here, she imagined.

"Sorry," she said, knowing full well that it likely didn't take offense, if it processed anything she was saying at all. All the same, an apology felt...right. "Figure of speech."

She quickly went on to talk about her family updates, which were relatively few, to which she expressed her relief.

"As far as they're concerned, I think I'm kind of in the 'no news is good news' camp, because the last time there was news, my brother was in the hospital after some kind of work incident, so..."

And then soon after that she moved on to personal ones. She had a lot to say about her dating life, which she was sure the Code Piece probably didn't care to hear. But the venting helped, and since it never piped up to let her know to stop talking about it, she took that as free license to keep going for as long as she needed to.

"...and I'm honestly surprised he gave me his real name."

She was smiling, at least—weakly, but it was there—when she went on about how a very good friend had gone to bat for her after she had vented the same story to her, and that she, Mel, had also gotten an opportunity to take several swings (or rather, snowball shots) at him.

Talk of the holiday season came next, how it came and went with surprising efficiency this year despite how DC tended to celebrate the holidays. After that, having run out of civilian things of any real significance to talk about—even she had to admit that talking about miniscule adjustments to various recipes wasn't something worth telling the Code—she finally, and with some reluctance, moved on to some powered life updates.

She talked at length about the event held on Joy's Wonder and what she did while participating, then moved on to her own Wonder and the reports she'd been studying as well as those she'd been writing about the various things she'd found in this, that, or the other room. Eventually, and with still growing reluctance, she finally landed on the last bit she thought it might be interested to learn about.

Dagon's world.

She started slowly, on purpose, still wanting to delay finally talking about it despite herself. She knew why she was here, why she had to speak with the Code, what she ought to have been explaining, what she ought to have been asking. Yet for all that knowledge, her instinct was still to delay, delay, delay. To talk in circles, as she had been for the better part of probably an hour now, if she had to guess. It wasn't much longer before she was finally out of extra details she could expand on. Finally at the end of a very long rope she'd allowed herself given the length of time since her last visit, and there wasn't anything more that she could do or say—at least not now, now that she was finally there—to put it off even more.

So she sighed.

Then started with a somewhat small and shaky voice, "While I was there, my magic..." and went from there, describing the sensation of resistance when she tried to expand her forcefield. The way she was knocked off of her feet the next day and how she had to call off work because of it, and how long it took for her to finally feel rested afterwards. She explained how she was able to duplicate the effects of using her magic immediately after that, to minimal regret because that had been the point (even though she'd been hoping she was wrong). And then again one other time, after helping out a newly awakened Mercury knight (to which her tone brightened slightly, because she'd been ecstatic to be there for his awakening). She expanded on the ever mounting physical and mental symptoms she couldn't strictly attribute to spending too much time away because of her transcended connection to her Wonder, and how things were growing steadily worse and that, while those she'd shared this with expressed their concern and support and advised that she speak to the Code (or at least, two out of the three had advised this), none of them had been able to give her any real ideas or solutions.

"I essentially haven't been able to use my magic for weeks," she said, now sounding completely exasperated and at a loss. Once she got started, the floodgates sort of just...opened, and she laid the situation out as best she could, wanting to give the Code Piece as much information as she could manage so in the hopes that it would decide to speak to her again to give her some kind of insight.

"And I just... I'm so tired, and honestly I'm scared about what this could all mean..."

She chewed on her lip, face contorted with the anxiety that had been welling inside of her and was now almost fit to burst—ready to plunge her down into the depths of her own unraveling, an inward, hopeless spiral that she might never escape.

"But I need help," she said, far too quietly that she doubted it heard her at all. It didn't help that her eyes were now cast down at hands, which she was keeping busy by fidgeting with her signet ring. "I need some answers. Even just... one... answer."

She paused again, feeling the bridge of her nose prickle despite doing her best to keep herself composed.

"What's happening to me?"

"Nothing to worry about," the Code answered with little delay. "You aren’t doing anything wrong. So breathe, first. Relax your shoulders. It sounds like you’re misaligned. Which isn’t always a bad thing."

It waited, but not for long. She was to have time for the words to sink in, not to drown in.

"You’ve been working so hard. But weeks? Ekstrom, when something doesn’t feel right, don’t wait that long. Come talk to me. I could have saved you a lot of grief. We can fix this. What were you afraid this would mean?"

Her head snapped up so fast at the sound of the Code’s voice that she might have gotten whiplash, though if she had managed to throw her neck off bad enough to cause her any kind of pain it certainly didn’t show. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she looked on with an expression of mixed surprise and relief.

"Misaligned?" she asked, quietly and still with a trace of the anxiety that had mostly gone in the instant that she heard its voice and it had reassured her that she hadn’t done anything wrong. It even went so far as to try and get her to relax, which was new but no less comforting. She took a breath as advised but couldn’t quite fully relax. In fact, she actually puffed up slightly at the notion that whatever was going on wasn’t bad.

"But what do you mean it’s nothing to worry about? And how could this not be bad?" she demanded, worry and the teeniest bit of frustration now creeping into her voice, strengthening it just enough that she was back to speaking at normal volume. She was about to say more when it spoke again, elaborating and, to her relief, assuring her that it was fixable.

It was only then, at those words, that she relaxed her shoulders, and she closed her eyes.

This was fixable.

Her lip trembled as she repeated the line in her head half a dozen times. It was fixable. She hadn’t done anything wrong, except maybe that she waited too long to talk to it.

"I thought," she said, voice thick and a little shaky, but strong, "because I haven’t been able to complete the task you gave me about my ancestor, that I might have failed and was being punished for it. I got my powers so suddenly, I figured they could get taken away just as easily…and I thought if I asked, that you would confirm all of this, take my powers away, and basically kick me out."

"Do you think your loyalty and effort is so easily disregarded? I’ve seen how hard you’re working. These halls have been empty for a millennia. I do not expect you to resolve everything in the blink of an eye."

The Code sounded patient, but not patronizing. It spoke to her gently, but with the appreciation she deserved.

"Just because you have a task does not mean it is your only one. I understand you have other priorities, and trust you to know where your limits are. Balance is important. You know what needs to be done, and it is within your hands and your power to do it. When time allows."
Spoken with insistence, because she needed to know that this was not a race to the finish line.

"For you to be stripped of your power, you would have to commit a crime so egregious that I cannot even think to name it, and I certainly cannot fathom you involved in such a thing. If you have a problem, come to me and ask. We will solve it together. You and I are allies. I am here to support you. Tell me, have you been stressed lately?"

The Code’s reassurances, and the patient tone it had taken as it spoke them, helped her to finally, fully settle. She gave a slow, quiet sigh of relief just as it asked her about her stress levels, and on the question she looked up and gave a little smirk.

"Yes," came the very simple, but honest, answer. "I’m close to finishing school, but also trying to balance work, my personal life and interests alongside it. Paired with trying to figure out what’s going on with my magic and worrying about what it could mean and thinking the worst possible case—"

She took another slow breath, and then, "Yes, I’ve been a little stressed lately."

"I can imagine," the Code hummed. "...That sounds like it must have been quite a lot to deal with."

On top of whatever Knightly duties Earth demanded of her.

"Most of that is outside of the realm of my influence. But I can help with at least one burden. Present your weapon, bring it close. Let me see what I can do for it."

And then, before she might be stricken with doubt or trepidation, the Code assured, "You will leave here with functioning magic. We just need to stabilize everything. Relax, if you can. Have faith in yourself, and me, and Ekstrom."

She wondered if her expression had given her hesitation away, but again the Code’s reassurances helped to shunt aside the unfortunate knee-jerk reaction of worry and doubt. "Sorry," she said as she took a few steps back to get clear of the pillar, then reached up to take hold of her shield. She wanted to say more, but it felt like whatever she said was just going to sound like an excuse. So she focused on getting her shield from its holster and presenting it, as requested.

The motion of doing so was a smooth and well practiced one, as was the way she slipped it right onto her arm immediately afterward. It only occurred to her that the last step wasn’t needed in this case as she wrapped her fingers around the handle, and she flushed a light pink as she slipped it off of her arm again and stepped toward the Code.

"Is this close enough?" she asked, holding the shield upright and bringing it as close to the glass as she could without actually touching it. "Or— um…"

She glanced around for some kind of platform.

"I can work with that, thank you." The closer she was, the better. And, the Code was resourceful, anyway.

It took a moment longer, and a bit more effort, but slowly–surely–a pale, glittery mist began to spread across her shield. Wherever it touched, her shield began to glow–a bright, vibrant light..

"This is normal," the Code explained, though its voice was slightly warped during the process. It didn't want her to worry any more than she already had.

And then–the mist settled. The air was heavy with energy, but it wasn't unpleasant.

Just excited.

"There, try that."

"Oh, okay." She stopped looking around and refocused on the Code, taking care to hold the shield steady because she wasn’t sure what to expect but she imagined it was probably delicate work that required a good amount of focus and stillness. And then, while slightly nibbling at her lower lip because it was all she could afford to do, she watched in quiet fascination as it...did whatever magical thing that it did, even managing to slip in another brief reassurance as it went about its work.

Probably a good thing that it did, too, because almost immediately after it spoke she watched—wide-eyed and worried still despite its words—as her shield, now fully covered by the glittery mist and glowing a brilliant blue-white, changed.

When the mist cleared she took hold of what was left in the wake of her shield—a pair of gauntlets, open along an inner seam and a square opening on the outer side of each with a small metallic stub sticking out of it. It looked... weird, was the first thought that came to mind. Like it wasn't complete, somehow? Still, it reminded her very much of her shield—it had the same cool shades of metal, the same glowing blue sections and data lines, and even the warmth that she sensed from it was the same.

Calm and comforting, a curious and distinct reminder of belonging and home.

The longer she stared, the more the worry and anxiety slipped away from her. Traces of a smile touched her lips, eventually reaching her eyes as she moved to put them on—the left gauntlet first, and then the right.

She watched the inner seams close and, with a series of metallic clicks, seal as though there had never been a seam at all. Once sealed, the gauntlets began to glow again, and she watched the stubs extend up, over her arms, threading through and tacking onto her uniform as if by impossibly strong magnets, over her shoulders and finally meeting in the middle and snapping together with another metallic click. The glow faded away quickly after that, and she felt that familiar hum of energy coming from her hands once it had gone.

"Whoa..." was all she managed to say as she opened and closed her hands to see how it felt.

And then she paused, a mix of curiosity and the tiniest bit of worry coming back to her. It was the most normal she'd felt in weeks, she realized, but despite the relief that brought it was hard to ignore the fact that her shield was...gone.

Ekstrom looked up from the gauntlets and, after a brief pause to consider how to go about her question, began to ask. "Um. I mean, not to be ungrateful. Because I feel... uh. Great." She looked mortified at what might have possibly sounded like a bad attempt at a joke, but carried on. "But is this supposed to replace my shield?"

"No," the Code answered simply–softer, like it was far away. Faded, tired. "If you focus, you’ll have your shield back. This is not a replacement. It’s an option."

The swirling mist sluggishly churned in a slightly lopsided sphere, but it seemed to be recalibrating. A little dimmer, a little less enthusiastic, but determined.

"This happens sometimes. Ekstrom was trying to give you a gift. A Knight’s weapon represents them, and their bond with the Wonder. Sometimes, your Wonder recognizes that you have grown, and you need more tools. So…"

The word hung in the air. If the Code had hands, it would have gestured towards her new weaponry. Somehow, without form, it seemed to do the same.

"I recommend practicing some before taking it into battle. Just get a feel for things. I don’t want you surprised in an inopportune moment. Things should come naturally to you, but give yourself leniency all the same. And if something like this ever happens again, come to me sooner. Sometimes magic just needs a little fine tuning."

Her expression softened some when the Code spoke next. She wondered briefly how much energy it must have just spent on her to suddenly sound the way that it did. Guilt hit her first, but gratitude swiftly after it, and she thought in passing that, if she could, she probably would have given the Code a hug if it had an actual physical form. Like she would an old friend, she imagined, who had just bailed her out of a tight spot.

"Thank you," she said after a beat, because after everything she wasn’t sure anything else was more appropriate than those two words. Her eyes fell back to the metal gauntlets now fit snugly around her hands. "Practice," she went on, turning her hands over and taking in the look and feel of her new weapon. "And trust."

Looking up again at the slowly swirling mist that was her wonder’s Code Piece, she smiled fully and genuinely, as bright and as confident as could be, like a light suddenly shining through a slowly clearing fog.

"I can do that."

Fin~!
Backdated to 1/1/26.