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 Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2025 11:08 am
It was 20 Years ago today, that I lost my only sister and nephew to an insane car wreck.
Every day since has been a different journey.
Some days better than others.
Life changes so much when someone you love so dearly leaves you so unexpectedly.
Nothing has been the same. It never will be.
Wondering what life would have been like if it had not happened is a constant thought in the back of my mind.
You would honesty think such a tragedy would bring the rest of the family closer.
I guess my family didn't get that memo.
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Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2025 7:14 am
I feel for you, Pookynators Mom & I'm really sorry you lost your sister & nephew, especially in such circumstances. A sudden, tragic loss of such close loved ones is so hard to deal with. It changes you & affects the whole family. Everybody deals with the loss differently & I don't know of a lot of families that are closer after the event, actually. But it would be nice if that happened.
We lost our 4 year old grandson in 2017. His dad, an alcoholic, had been drinking & took him out on a 4 wheeler & didn't belt him in or put a helmet on him. We still don't know exactly what happened (his dad said he "couldn't remember") but the dad wasn't hurt & grandson was killed.
We had just seen our grandson that morning. Every morning our daughter brought him & his sister to our house on her way to work because she had to be at work before they could be at school. Grandson had just started preschool & granddaughter was in 2nd grade. So they would come & eat breakfast at our house & get cuddles & then my hubby would take them to school. We had a wonderful time together every morning, then that night, out of nowhere, grandson was gone. It was hard to even wrap our heads around that he was gone, let alone adjust to it. So I do understand a little of your feelings about your sister & nephew.
I think at times about how things would have been different if grandson was still here. But I have a strong faith in God & believe He sees all things & knows the reason grandson passed away, even if I don't. That has helped me so much & continues to give a lot of comfort. But we still miss him every day. *hugs*
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Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2025 6:35 pm
Thank you so much for responding to my post. Sometimes it's just nice to know that you aren't alone when you are hurting. And that someone else does actually understand and can relate to how you feel. *hugs*
I can't imagine the pain that you must be feeling at the loss of your grandson.
My nephew was just a year older than your grandson when we lost him. And my sister was just 35. Like you, I had just been with my sister and nephew the day before. I was helping to move them into a new house on that Saturday and Sunday. And then Monday morning rolled around and they were both gone.
My sister and I worked at the same primary school and the wreck happened just down the road. So someone drove me there to find out if they were okay. But there was no good news waiting for me. That was the absolute worst day of my entire life. I immediately had someone drive me to my parents house so that I could be the one to tell them. (They literally lived less than 10 minutes from the accident scene.) That was the hardest thing I have ever done.
That one specific day has made me question pretty much everything in my life.
I believe if affected us in so many different ways, that it's not even possible to track them all. But you are right, everyone deals with loss differently and with my family, it just made us grow apart.
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Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2025 10:06 am
Hello my friend! I am so sorry for the hurt and pain you are dealing with. Hugs you my friend. I am sorry your family has never grown closer through this horrible loss.
I know the anniversary of their deaths are passed but I know you miss her daily. heart
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2025 12:33 pm
You are not alone (HUGS). I lost my sister 26 years ago this August. We were so close, like best friends, inseparable. After her passing, my family fell apart. The aftermath was devastating. I felt like I was the only one who ever cared about her (except her own kids, of course). She and I were the black sheep of the family, unloved by our mother. I let go of those who brought misery into my life, for the better. My husband has been, and will always be, my rock. I don't know how I would have survived without him during those times. I still have my brother in my life - he also abandoned the rest of our family. No parents, no younger sister (they actually deserve each other).
Anyways .... even to this day, my heart aches. All I have are memories I will cherish forever. I might not cry as often as I used to, but there are days when a song plays on the radio that hits me hard. She is missed dearly and will never be forgotten.
Pookynators Mom & mistymountaingirl, I am sorry you didn't get to say goodbye. I think that makes it harder.
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2025 11:10 am
My apologies for not posting back sooner.
Thank you for your response and your kind words.
I really appreciate them. My sister and I were close like that too the older we got. Not so much when we were younger though.
In my situation I've been made to feel like it should have been me, not her. I guess that's what caused a lot of the mixed emotions surrounding losing her.
But thank you so very much for sharing with me about your sister. My heart goes out to you for your loss. *hugs*
I know all too well that it's a "one day at the time" type thing. And our past memories are definitely something to hold onto and cherish.
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2025 11:12 am
Crystal Snow Faerie Hello my friend! I am so sorry for the hurt and pain you are dealing with. Hugs you my friend. I am sorry your family has never grown closer through this horrible loss.
I know the anniversary of their deaths are passed but I know you miss her daily. heart
I appreciate you my dear friend. I know that you'll always be there for me when I need you. *hugs*
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