Name: Senzir
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Role/rank: Candidate, previously Holdbrat
Origin: Fort Weyr, previously Nabol Hold
Appearance: Malnutrition as a child has left Senzir with a gaunt appearance, no matter how much he works his body. He has trouble building muscle and keeping weight on, though what muscle he does have is strong. He also has high cheekbones with large, black eyes that have deep, permanent shadows underneath them. His eyelids tend to droop and his thin lips naturally curl down at the corners, making him look exhausted all of the time. Night black hair frames his face, and he tends to keep it long to hide the sunken in appearance of his cheeks. It's completely straight, so he tends to part it to the side to give it some shape. His growth was somewhat stunted, so he only stands at about 5'4". His pale limbs are crisscrossed with even paler scars.
Senzir likes to wear long clothing that covers him up well. He is prone to sunburn so he usually wears long sleeved clothes even when it is hot, and he likes to wear flowing coats and loose trousers. He also likes to pick darker shades of brown, blue, or black, even though it makes his skin look even paler than it is. If he wears any jewelry, it usually consists of simple silver rings or a chain around his neck. He prefers the freedom of open toed footwear unless it is cold.
Personality: Observant, friendly, charitable - Private, apprehensive, pessimistic
Senzir is the type of guy who can smoothly insert himself into many social situations. His observant nature allows him to pick up what interests a person and repeat it back to them, until he has a natural conversation going. His naturally friendly demeanor, despite his weary look, tends to make it easy for him to befriend many different kinds of people. He shows interest in everything, but does not impose if his presence isn't wanted. He can withdraw from a situation just as quickly as he gets into it, as silently as a shadow.
Despite his sociable personality, the smiles he gives others never quite lights up his face. He may try to be genuinely kind and involved with a person, but he skillfully avoids talking about himself as much as he can. His past has made him reluctant to share much about himself or to get truly close to another person, in case he gets too emotionally invested in them. He fears that if he gets attached to someone, they will disappear and he does not want to feel that hurt. Therefore, Senzir may appear to have lots of friends but in reality, he keeps everyone at an arm's length and does not seek deep and meaningful relationships.
Yet, he believes that other people are good and should be treated well, and if they are in rough shape, he doesn't hesistate to lend them a hand. Whether it's a couple of marks or just a shoulder to cry on, Senzir will often willingly come to someone's aid, even if he's never met them before. He will try to be supportive in any way he can, so that others do not have to suffer alone.
When things go wrong in Senzir's life, on the other hand, he has trouble seeing the bright side. Deeply pessimistic about his own life, he doesn't even try to see the positive of something, or to see that a situation might not turn out as terribly as it may first appear. He feels that nothing good every happens to him, so he doesn't allow himself to feel any hope. He tends to live in an anxious state, just waiting for the next terrible thing to happen. If someone tries to help him in return, he will push them away.
Senzir also believes that the best way to make one's life useful is through hard work. He spent too much time tearing down the efforts of other people as he grew up, so he tries to make it up to the world by throwing himself into any task he is asked to do. With the tragedy of the plague, he believes that it is more important than ever for Pern to stand together and fight for survival, even if that just means making the lives of people who outrank him more comfortable. He wouldn't let himself be pushed around, but he's also not opposed to doing tasks that other people would find demeaning. After all, he's done much more demeaning things in his life than just some simple chores. A part of him also believes that it is punishment for letting horrible things happen in his life, so he thinks that he should keep his head down and his mouth shut.
History: Senzir was born in a very poor and unkempt brothel at Nabol hold. His mother, while not cruel, had very little experience with children, so he was often fed and then left to his own devices while his mother worked. The child learned how to walk and talk early, despite the seemingly neglectful way he was raised, from his mother's co-workers and the occasional sympathetic client. He was a smart child regardless of his circumstances and even learned basic reading and numbers from watching the brothel's manager as he wrote and calculated expenses and profits.
When Senzir was 10 turns old, his mother gave birth to his brother, Zipan. The boy was immediately infatuated with the baby and personally vowed to take care of him so that he would be comfortable and safe. Senzir took on more of a motherly role than his own mother had and carried the baby everywhere, making sure that he didn't want for anything. He even tried to provide Zipan with toys, and the child's favourite was a little wooden dragon that Senzir had made. It barely looked like anything but an old lump of wood with lopsided wings, tiny legs, and a crooked face, but Zipan loved it dearly and took it everywhere. Zipan grew into a sweet, loving child that idolized his brother completely. No one in the brothel could recall a more devoted pair of brothers.
Still, life was hard. When Senzir reached his 14th turn, he began to run with other poor holdbrats. It wasn't because he wanted to - although he did enjoy the company of those his own age and having more freedom - but because he was more than old enough to start supporting himself, and it was the easiest way for him to get what he needed. He wiggled his way into a particularly bold but violent group and took his brother with him. Zipan, being only 4 turns old, was often the butt of bullying and jokes, yet the child still tried to be happy and friendly to everyone. Senzir could only watch helplessly as his brother was picked on, since he did not want to be rejected from the group if he interfered.
Things only escalated as a turn went by. The bullying became more violent, which left Zipan in tears and Senzir trying to tell him not to worry about the older children. However, there was only so much Senzir could do, and a rift became to form between the boys. Senzir even began to blame Zipan for the teasing he got as well, and when his frustration got the better of him, he agreed to leave Zipan behind when he and the other holdbrats went out to steal and vandalize. Senzir knew leaving a 5 turn old alone wasn't a good idea, but he no longer cared. He wanted to become one of the popular teenagers in the group, and if that meant breaking his promise to Zipan, so be it.
It would take something drastic to bring Senzir back to reality, and one evening, life hit him hard. He had left Zipan at the holdbrats' hideout and come back much later than ever before. While he was gone, Zipan had disappeared. He searched all over the place until he found a tiny, abandoned sandal and a very familiar wooden dragon, dropped carelessly in the dirt.
Senzir pocketed the makeshift toy, walked away from his so-called friends forever, and entered a long period of mourning. Guilt absolutely destroyed Senzir. If it hadn't been for his carelessness, Zipan would still be with him. He searched for a long time without finding a trace of Zipan and had no choice but to assume the boy was dead. Life no longer had meaning for Senzir, and he stopped trying to care for himself at all. He spent his time crouched against a wall, his face buried in his arms. He was wasting away and would not do anything about it.
He was in such a state when a visiting searchrider from Fort Weyr came to search the hold. Nabol was never this rider's favourite place, but duty was duty. The pair were doing rounds by air when they noticed Senzir. He had withdrawn to a less populated part of Nabol and was in his usual, listless position. The dragon insisted on checking on him, though no one was quite certain if it was because the creature felt Senzir was a Candidate material, or if he just felt sorry for him. At that point in his life, Senzir didn't really care what happened to him, or where he was when things did happen, so he agreed to go with the dragonrider just out of pure carelessness.
Senzir spent a couple of Turns working with mindhealers before he was healthy enough to begin Candidate training. Seeing the results of the plague up close seemed to bolster him, since he suddenly had more of a purpose as a Candidate. However, since he is just a few turns away from aging out, he doesn't have much hope that he will Impress, or thoughts about what he would do if he did. He's gotten to the point that he wants to have some sort of future with the Weyr that took him in and helped him, but he isn't certain that he is worthy enough for a dragon.
Other: Zipan will belong to Revel1984!
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