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 Posted: Sun Sep 15, 2019 7:33 pm
I hear stuff like it's harder.
The baby can have autism or trisomy.
Ok.. There are ''scientific'' stats and studies on this...
Yes I want to have a family, I'm 29. However, because I do not have a secure job, and I need to study 1 year more to obtain a professional title CPA. Then find a job and if my first job isn't good enough , I will have to search for another one...
I just can't have a family right now.
I will probably spent money in the future like IVF treatment to get pregnant.
It just hurts when people reminds me of that. Or that, it is BETTER to have children conceived naturally.
Anyways, everyone has an opinion right?
Of course, I'm afraid of the future, to not be capable to conceive and that there are higher risks for in the pregnancy both for the mom (me) and the future baby.
Some of my friends had baby unplanned. They deal with it ... It's harder financially. Some travelling plans got cancelled...
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Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2019 3:19 am
I don't know if I've ever heard about there being a hire chance of issues with the pregnancy from being in your 30's confused I have heard that the chances of you getting pregnant decrease by like 1%, but that's it. I'm about to be 27 and I don't have any kids yet either for similar reasons. I don't think it's a bad thing to hold off on having kids until your financially stable. In fact having kids when you're not can make things way worse. My husband is in the military though so we're considering trying soonish. There's other reasons for that too though sweatdrop
I would say to do what you feel is best. As long as whatever you're doing isn't harmful to you or someone else it's fine. It's your life after all and you only get one so do what you're comfortable with. 3nodding
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Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2019 7:05 am
I don't like to contradict you, but perhaps you meant to say 40, instead of 30? Because having a child in your 30s is usually the best time; you are more likely to have a stable job/relationship/done most of the travelling you wanted to do etc.. well, that's what "they" say.
However, I know in some Asian cultures, the minute you finish eduction (college or university) it is expected of you to have a child with your partner. My mum (Filipino) was like this a few years after I started working and I was with my [now] ex. Thanks goodness, I never got pregnant with him...
My mum had me when she was 42. I will admit that I have a predjudice against older women who get pregnant because there will be a sort of disconnect with them and their child. I experienced this with my mum. All my other friend's mum were more younger/had modern ways of thinking/were more relaxed with their children and allowed them to make their own mistakes etc to learn...
My mum was from "another time" (as it were) and also from a different culture so we clashed many times whilst I was growing up. Now that I am 31, and my mum is in her 70s, I often worry about her and my stepdad (also elderly) because my partner and I moved away. My partner and I decided not to have children, for our own various reasons, but imagine if we had a child or children now, and then suddenly I would also have to look after both my elderly parents if they needed it. That would be very difficult indeed!
It is irresponsible to have children when you are already "old."
Sorry about the story book. I just have very strong views on this subject. sweatdrop
I think you are doing just fine. Your education and career should come first. When you are comfortable enough to support yourself and then a little extra, then you can start a family. No use starting a family too early and then relying on the state to provide everything for you. And when I say the "state" I mean people who are working hard and paying their taxes - like me. neutral
I HATE people in my country who have multiple children and get everything handed to them through benefits... don't get me started on that kettle of fish...
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Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2019 1:00 pm
n o i r i s t I don't like to contradict you, but perhaps you meant to say 40, instead of 30? Because having a child in your 30s is usually the best time; you are more likely to have a stable job/relationship/done most of the travelling you wanted to do etc.. well, that's what "they" say.
However, I know in some Asian cultures, the minute you finish eduction (college or university) it is expected of you to have a child with your partner. My mum (Filipino) was like this a few years after I started working and I was with my [now] ex. Thanks goodness, I never got pregnant with him...
My mum had me when she was 42. I will admit that I have a predjudice against older women who get pregnant because there will be a sort of disconnect with them and their child. I experienced this with my mum. All my other friend's mum were more younger/had modern ways of thinking/were more relaxed with their children and allowed them to make their own mistakes etc to learn...
My mum was from "another time" (as it were) and also from a different culture so we clashed many times whilst I was growing up. Now that I am 31, and my mum is in her 70s, I often worry about her and my stepdad (also elderly) because my partner and I moved away. My partner and I decided not to have children, for our own various reasons, but imagine if we had a child or children now, and then suddenly I would also have to look after both my elderly parents if they needed it. That would be very difficult indeed!
It is irresponsible to have children when you are already "old."
Sorry about the story book. I just have very strong views on this subject. sweatdrop
I think you are doing just fine. Your education and career should come first. When you are comfortable enough to support yourself and then a little extra, then you can start a family. No use starting a family too early and then relying on the state to provide everything for you. And when I say the "state" I mean people who are working hard and paying their taxes - like me. neutral
I HATE people in my country who have multiple children and get everything handed to them through benefits... don't get me started on that kettle of fish... Your story is interesting smile ! It wasn't too long to read no worries. I'm soon in my 30s but my career isn't set yet. I would like to have children in my mid 30s... and probably my second child near 40s.
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Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2019 1:03 pm
Shikka Kuragari I don't know if I've ever heard about there being a hire chance of issues with the pregnancy from being in your 30's confused I have heard that the chances of you getting pregnant decrease by like 1%, but that's it. I'm about to be 27 and I don't have any kids yet either for similar reasons. I don't think it's a bad thing to hold off on having kids until your financially stable. In fact having kids when you're not can make things way worse. My husband is in the military though so we're considering trying soonish. There's other reasons for that too though sweatdrop I would say to do what you feel is best. As long as whatever you're doing isn't harmful to you or someone else it's fine. It's your life after all and you only get one so do what you're comfortable with. 3nodding It's true it's my life but I get worried over things like... Women are less fertile blablaba.. gonk There are video on youtube about woman in their 30s freezing their eggs.
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Posted: Sat Sep 21, 2019 4:25 am
Miss_XxAriaxX It's true it's my life but I get worried over things like... Women are less fertile blablaba.. gonk There are video on youtube about woman in their 30s freezing their eggs. I'd still say look into some article and see where those YouTubers get their information from. If it's a reliable source they should tell you where they obtain their info 3nodding
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Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2021 11:42 am
I married young (16) had my first child when I was 18, I didn't have the rest (4 more) until I was in my 30's . My 2nd I was 31, my last I was 39. The first one happened easily, it took 12 yrs for the 2nd, once I hit 30 getting pregnant was easy. Thank goodness all healthy. Doctors tend to freak out about older women having children. At least that happened to me a little over 20 yrs ago. lol
It seems more women today are having children in their older yrs.
Good luck & best wishes.
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Posted: Sun May 23, 2021 9:40 am
Any pregnant woman having a baby over 35 is considered of "advanced maternal age," meaning her pregnancy is considered high risk for complications. You got quite a few years to go. With advances in healthcare and treatments, women in their 40s-60s are even giving birth to healthy babies. Don't paralyze yourself in fear. You have time.
Having a kid in your 20s doesn't mean you'll have perfectly healthy children either. There are a lot more factors in play. Speak to a doctor so these rumors and myths don't poison your mind.
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Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2021 11:58 pm
I know that this was posted a while ago but reading this has given me a peace of mind. I'm about to be 35 and my partner and I aren't actively trying at the moment but hope to conceive sometime next year if a goes according to plan. It's always bothered me that I'd be starting so late (especially when many of my friends started having kids around 16-25). I was born to parents who were closing in on their forties but there's always some article or another claiming that anytime last 35 will bring about a slew of health issues or defects for baby.
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