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 Posted: Tue May 28, 2019 12:19 pm
Has anyone been married, or is married, where they lost all emotional trust in their spouse and felt terribly alone? How do you fix it and make things different?
My hubs knows but neither one of us knows what to do to get past this except to just keep moving forward (that's my own thought on what to do)
If anyone has any advice or been thru something similar that would be great. My mom's advice was to go see a therapist, which we are, so kind of lost
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Posted: Wed May 29, 2019 8:56 am
Cheshire Echos Has anyone been married, or is married, where they lost all emotional trust in their spouse and felt terribly alone? How do you fix it and make things different? My hubs knows but neither one of us knows what to do to get past this except to just keep moving forward (that's my own thought on what to do) If anyone has any advice or been thru something similar that would be great. My mom's advice was to go see a therapist, which we are, so kind of lost Not married but in long-term relationships. First things first, what lead to this situation? When I read I "trust lost", I think about the usual suspects: hidden information regarding health, finances, bad habits and, of course, infidelity. Once trust is lost, there is little left to do besides ending the relationship. Not only in marriage but in every human bond such as family, work, and friendships. If there's no such issue, maybe you should think about your expectations. While a loving partner helps in sharing the burden of some hardships, your SO is not a therapist. Some things in life are meant for each individual to work on. Has he mentioned feeling overwhelmed? It could be he is detaching because he feels this way.
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Posted: Wed May 29, 2019 10:00 am
Donna Cecilia Cheshire Echos Has anyone been married, or is married, where they lost all emotional trust in their spouse and felt terribly alone? How do you fix it and make things different? My hubs knows but neither one of us knows what to do to get past this except to just keep moving forward (that's my own thought on what to do) If anyone has any advice or been thru something similar that would be great. My mom's advice was to go see a therapist, which we are, so kind of lost Not married but in long-term relationships. First things first, what lead to this situation? When I read I "trust lost", I think about the usual suspects: hidden information regarding health, finances, bad habits and, of course, infidelity. Once trust is lost, there is little left to do besides ending the relationship. Not only in marriage but in every human bond such as family, work, and friendships. If there's no such issue, maybe you should think about your expectations. While a loving partner helps in sharing the burden of some hardships, your SO is not a therapist. Some things in life are meant for each individual to work on. Has he mentioned feeling overwhelmed? It could be he is detaching because he feels this way. So the reason I put emotional trust is because I've lost trust that he has my back and will be there when I need him. I've been in situations in the past year where I've been verbally attacked, singled out, and have had people throw slander against me and he has sat on the side lines doing nothing. When the first situation arised he was still talking to the friend doing everything (they were childhood friends) and wouldn't end the relationship with her, even though she was attacking me on fb and posted a personal add on Craigslist. It took his mother saying exactly what I I was saying, for him to do something. That was extremely bad and he didn't try to stick up for me at all. Then there have been multiple situations since then where he hasn't done anything. That's why I've lost trust in him bc I don't feel like we are a team and it's on me to have my back bc no one else will. (let me know if any of this doesn't make sense. I'm on my phone responding)
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Posted: Wed May 29, 2019 10:26 am
Cheshire Echos Donna Cecilia Cheshire Echos Has anyone been married, or is married, where they lost all emotional trust in their spouse and felt terribly alone? How do you fix it and make things different? My hubs knows but neither one of us knows what to do to get past this except to just keep moving forward (that's my own thought on what to do) If anyone has any advice or been thru something similar that would be great. My mom's advice was to go see a therapist, which we are, so kind of lost Not married but in long-term relationships. First things first, what lead to this situation? When I read I "trust lost", I think about the usual suspects: hidden information regarding health, finances, bad habits and, of course, infidelity. Once trust is lost, there is little left to do besides ending the relationship. Not only in marriage but in every human bond such as family, work, and friendships. If there's no such issue, maybe you should think about your expectations. While a loving partner helps in sharing the burden of some hardships, your SO is not a therapist. Some things in life are meant for each individual to work on. Has he mentioned feeling overwhelmed? It could be he is detaching because he feels this way. So the reason I put emotional trust is because I've lost trust that he has my back and will be there when I need him. I've been in situations in the past year where I've been verbally attacked, singled out, and have had people throw slander against me and he has sat on the side lines doing nothing. When the first situation arised he was still talking to the friend doing everything (they were childhood friends) and wouldn't end the relationship with her, even though she was attacking me on fb and posted a personal add on Craigslist. It took his mother saying exactly what I I was saying, for him to do something. That was extremely bad and he didn't try to stick up for me at all. Then there have been multiple situations since then where he hasn't done anything. That's why I've lost trust in him bc I don't feel like we are a team and it's on me to have my back bc no one else will. (let me know if any of this doesn't make sense. I'm on my phone responding) This whole situation is a glaring red flag for me. If she went to such lengths to attack you, I'd consider the possibility of infidelity. Have you tried shutting her down by yourself in front of him? Doing so will clear your doubts for good. If he defends her, let him go. And wish him good luck with his crazy b***h of a childhood friend.
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Posted: Wed May 29, 2019 12:54 pm
Donna Cecilia Cheshire Echos Donna Cecilia Cheshire Echos Has anyone been married, or is married, where they lost all emotional trust in their spouse and felt terribly alone? How do you fix it and make things different? My hubs knows but neither one of us knows what to do to get past this except to just keep moving forward (that's my own thought on what to do) If anyone has any advice or been thru something similar that would be great. My mom's advice was to go see a therapist, which we are, so kind of lost Not married but in long-term relationships. First things first, what lead to this situation? When I read I "trust lost", I think about the usual suspects: hidden information regarding health, finances, bad habits and, of course, infidelity. Once trust is lost, there is little left to do besides ending the relationship. Not only in marriage but in every human bond such as family, work, and friendships. If there's no such issue, maybe you should think about your expectations. While a loving partner helps in sharing the burden of some hardships, your SO is not a therapist. Some things in life are meant for each individual to work on. Has he mentioned feeling overwhelmed? It could be he is detaching because he feels this way. So the reason I put emotional trust is because I've lost trust that he has my back and will be there when I need him. I've been in situations in the past year where I've been verbally attacked, singled out, and have had people throw slander against me and he has sat on the side lines doing nothing. When the first situation arised he was still talking to the friend doing everything (they were childhood friends) and wouldn't end the relationship with her, even though she was attacking me on fb and posted a personal add on Craigslist. It took his mother saying exactly what I I was saying, for him to do something. That was extremely bad and he didn't try to stick up for me at all. Then there have been multiple situations since then where he hasn't done anything. That's why I've lost trust in him bc I don't feel like we are a team and it's on me to have my back bc no one else will. (let me know if any of this doesn't make sense. I'm on my phone responding) This whole situation is a glaring red flag for me. If she went to such lengths to attack you, I'd consider the possibility of infidelity. Have you tried shutting her down by yourself in front of him? Doing so will clear your doubts for good. If he defends her, let him go. And wish him good luck with his crazy b***h of a childhood friend. Oh heavens no. She was married and there was no way that she and him had anything together. Like I'm gonna be rude and say if you saw her, you'd know. But that was last March. We just had another friend confront me and then his other childhood friend (who was the best man) turned on me and basically sh-t talked me infront of my hubs and while he did do something and shut him down, I just found out about it. Then the hubs dad crossed a line with me and verbally attacked me and it took me saying something for my husband to confront his dad, even though the hubs claimed that he was going to do it on his own accord
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Posted: Thu May 30, 2019 3:09 am
im happily married and sometimes feel disconnected to him ...
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Posted: Thu May 30, 2019 7:10 am
This is what I would call a spineless husband.
Not sure how long you actually knew each other before you were married, but he really pulled the wool over your eyes. I don't recommend staying in it. It's not healthy and is going to make life worse for you. A happy less marriage is just as bad as a loveless marriage.
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Posted: Thu May 30, 2019 8:20 am
Cheshire Echos Has anyone been married, or is married, where they lost all emotional trust in their spouse and felt terribly alone? How do you fix it and make things different? My hubs knows but neither one of us knows what to do to get past this except to just keep moving forward (that's my own thought on what to do) If anyone has any advice or been thru something similar that would be great. My mom's advice was to go see a therapist, which we are, so kind of lost Hi =) was reading all the replies, and to give you advice maybe just suggestions, *talk to him first, tell how you feel, most of the time, men are disconnected from our feelings, you have to explain over and over again, which makes us women just angrier,! * personally I find, men think it's not matcho, manly to share their feelings, so you have to work @ it lol! unless of course you speak to a homosexual man, which in that case, well they understand our points well xd heart and as for *chikdhood friends* you can never change their opinions about them, even though, through out the yrs they may very well have changed! everyone changes , rem this xd My bf and I sometimes have trouble communicating, see he's more French Canadien than I, I lived out west Canada for over 30 yrs, so well let's just say my French isn't as great lol but he tries, so at least he's got that going for him =)
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Posted: Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:28 pm
Azure Shell This is what I would call a spineless husband. Not sure how long you actually knew each other before you were married, but he really pulled the wool over your eyes. I don't recommend staying in it. It's not healthy and is going to make life worse for you. A happy less marriage is just as bad as a loveless marriage. who are you referring to hun?
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Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2020 11:49 am
strider rose Azure Shell This is what I would call a spineless husband. Not sure how long you actually knew each other before you were married, but he really pulled the wool over your eyes. I don't recommend staying in it. It's not healthy and is going to make life worse for you. A happy less marriage is just as bad as a loveless marriage. who are you referring to hun? This wasn't for you if that is what you are trying to ask? This was posted in May.
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Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2020 12:24 am
Azure Shell strider rose Azure Shell This is what I would call a spineless husband. Not sure how long you actually knew each other before you were married, but he really pulled the wool over your eyes. I don't recommend staying in it. It's not healthy and is going to make life worse for you. A happy less marriage is just as bad as a loveless marriage. who are you referring to hun? This wasn't for you if that is what you are trying to ask? This was posted in May. sorry .. politely leaves
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Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2020 3:45 pm
strider rose Azure Shell strider rose Azure Shell This is what I would call a spineless husband. Not sure how long you actually knew each other before you were married, but he really pulled the wool over your eyes. I don't recommend staying in it. It's not healthy and is going to make life worse for you. A happy less marriage is just as bad as a loveless marriage. who are you referring to hun? This wasn't for you if that is what you are trying to ask? This was posted in May. sorry .. politely leaves It is alright, I can understand the confusion. smile
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Posted: Wed May 05, 2021 8:27 pm
heart heart heart heart I'm about to get married, and I had the same issues both of you already.... kinda, my fiance is kinda really "dense" and quiet so I always do all the work, it took me telling him what kind of male lead I like in manga for him to open up to me LOL OH an also the fact that I'm from Chile in Latin America, he is from the USA, and my family kinda pushed him to be more talkative LOLOL
Besides that I had an issue with one of his friends too (a female as well as the main post talked about) and she was kinda r*cist.... I tried to talk to him a bunch of times about it and he would defend the chick. I finally just gave up and acted cold af when he would go see her or else. And because of my personality I would go all sassy like "OH dont talk to me about that B u know what I think, IF I SEE HER IN MY WEDDING I WILL SCRATCH HER FACE AND KICK HER SKINNY a**"... and then I added "but love if u want to hung up with ur friends u do u smile LOL after that she threw a party during the worst time of COVID so I proved my point that she was an a**. He stopped hanging with her and even unfollow her in social media. (I noticed that afterwards doe he didnt tell me, my FBI self checked lol) so yeah.... but communication is keyy and letting ur partner kinda "walk in your shoes for a bit"
I'm just a noob here maybe I'm wrong but I hope my experience helped someone.
we are not perfect (: noone is, it's about working on it, both, if one doesnt, it's time to let go. I guess... heart
xoxo heart
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