I knew love.

From the moment I laid eyes on him, I felt love.
Heart heavy in my chest, beating rapidly, as if it were trying to climb its slippery way back out of my stomach and into its rightful place. Mouth dry. Eyes unblinking and steady, unlike my knees, which shook at the sound of his voice. I was promised to another, but it didn't stop his chase. It was a playful one at first; getting to know me, learning how to make me smile, or getting me to unravel a story for him of my life before he woke me up. There was an empty place inside me for a long time, and he'd slowly started filling that space. As much as I loved Kin, never before had someone looked upon me in such a way that made me feel as if my soul were bared; naked, before him. Beauty had a name... Selwyn. In an act of betrayal I would regret the rest of my life, our first child came to form. Fearful as I was, unknowing to whom it belonged, I soon learned that was the last of my worries.

He took me away, at the loss of our first child, and to his kingdom we traveled.. Though beautiful, it was... Everything I couldn't tolerate. Much of my time was spent indoors, especially while pregnant, and Selwyn... Selwyn was called away often. He was one of the most important men in his territory, and duty often called. Called him to miss the second loss, and the first birth. Our son, Kindred. He was strange since birth, and the moment I saw him, though much earlier than we had expected...he was breathing. He was breathing, and his small mouth opened and he cried such a tiny, incomplete cry and I shook. I shook and I held him as I'd never held another being in my life.. My son... Even as I felt I was finally over the guilt of my decisions, and happy as I could have ever been... Those golden eyes burned into my very soul.

All the others...died long before their time. I could feel their souls leaving their bodies, and often, I damned my brothers and sisters. I had love, but my past still haunted me. For hurting Kin as I had...I had cursed myself. Selwyn and I would only have the one child. Our one sweetly imperfect child, who always hoped for a brother or sister...someone who would play with him, or smile at him, or talk...to him.

...

I still do not know how he died..
But my Selwyn was taken from me not long after our young boy turned into a man. I waited for him for five years, hoping.. Hoping one day, I would see him on that horizon, but I knew it wasn't right, and I knew Kindred deserved to live in a place that wouldn't leave him so alone. Slowly, and with the help of my son, we crossed the desert, finding the ocean. My son had accompanied me here a few times throughout his life...always to cleanse after the loss of a child. To teach him about himself. This time to cleanse the loss of his father. I felt it, then. I felt him.

I looked to Kindred, and I ran.

I ran, and I dove into the water, swimming as fast as I could transform and kick my tail. Kindred could not swim. He could not follow, but he ran alongside the water's edge, climbing and finding me so that he might see what I was chasing. He hid up among the rocks as I came to the surface. I could feel him.. Changing once again, I walked to the shallow waters, a couple of figures catching my eye. I would know him anywhere, from miles away, after a lifetime apart... But the other. I did not know him.. I looked up to the rocks, my son watching us closely, and I heard my name...in that voice. It brings me pause in the same way as any fear does, and I run from it. I head toward my son, and as much as he wants to ask...Kindred leads the way inland, both of us very tired, and in search of food.

There were three great loves in my life, you see... But none more than my child.