Unexpectedly Lesbian (Kind of?) | Page 1 | ♥ Athena's Temple [Advice Giving, Dirty Little Secrets, & Personal Stories] | Guild Forums

Seraphina Crimsonrose
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Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 7:02 pm

Alright, so this is an interesting story, but I wanna get it out.
6 years ago, I met the love of my life. Here. On gaia. Funny huh?
Well, I've known that.....he felt like a she. I accepted that, but he decided to stay male, because I loved him.
Recently, a friend asked if he wanted to become a woman and if I was okay with it. I said "It's his choice."
This set off the reaction of him deciding to do it. My Gabby is now going by Luna and figuring out the steps to transitioning.
You'd think I'd be supportive.
I'm not.
I'm scared. I fell in love with a man. Now my world is on it's head. This is sort of why I joined this guild. To make my emotions towards it better.
I'm still scared, worried that she won't want me anymore. That I might not want her. We fight a lot. I mean, a lot. We both have depression, so that doesn't help. But I can't live without her.
I need some help figuring out what to do. Because I'm so scared that I'll either lose her, or become bitter and resent her.
How do I learn to accept this, when it scares the crap out of me?

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 5:56 pm

The best thing you can do is support her. You say that she struggles with depression. Going through transition will make her so much happier. It's not really a want to transition but rather a need to transition. Also you have to know that you are not losing the person you love. A person is the exact same person after they transition except that their body finally matches their gender. I think the biggest difference is that she will be a lot happier but she will be the exact same person you fell in love with. You did not fall in love with a man because Luna was always a woman. You fell in love with a woman, you just didn't know it at the time. I understand that you're scared but please be there for her. She needs all the support she can get. This is a difficult time for the both of you and it's best if you are there for each other.

Flickering Hope
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Seraphina Crimsonrose
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Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 8:00 pm

Flickering Hope

The best thing you can do is support her. You say that she struggles with depression. Going through transition will make her so much happier. It's not really a want to transition but rather a need to transition. Also you have to know that you are not losing the person you love. A person is the exact same person after they transition except that their body finally matches their gender. I think the biggest difference is that she will be a lot happier but she will be the exact same person you fell in love with. You did not fall in love with a man because Luna was always a woman. You fell in love with a woman, you just didn't know it at the time. I understand that you're scared but please be there for her. She needs all the support she can get. This is a difficult time for the both of you and it's best if you are there for each other.

This is all the same things Luna told me. However, it didn't click when from her.
However, hearing it from someone else, it just makes it click for some reason.
I'm trying to support her. It kind of helps that I don't really have any female friends, so it makes me smile to think of us shopping together for clothes, or just going out.
Thank you. I needed to hear all this from someone else besides Luna, because hearing it from her just didn't make it make sense in my mind.

Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2016 2:46 pm

Kind of late to the party here, but I'd like to comment on the "didn't click from Luna" thing. It's often the case that when it comes to personal topics which are sewn deep into our emotions, we become a lot less eloquent in our speech. It can be difficult to convey one's thoughts on a topic unless in a neutral point of view, such as with Flickering Hope's post. Luna's explanation was most probably (I cannot say with certainty, as I did not hear it, and I do not know her.) filled with emotion, which would have forced you to put together a puzzle with extra pieces.

Now, with that in mind, it's important that you keep negative emotion out of your discussions on the topic. It can be so easy to say something that can be construed as something entirely different in the heat of the moment. My suggestion would be to remain supportive, ask questions, and keep yourself informed. Give Luna your unconditional love as you always have, and everything will work out.