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 Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 3:54 am
Day 1?
Word Count: 605
This is exactly the kind of game he plays.
Let me explain from the beginning. My name is Ochre. If the people here get their way, then these pages or memoirs or whatever you call it will be the only thing left of me. I don't know anything about you, whoever you might be, so I'll explain from the basics. I'm a Negaverse senshi - basically I work for the shitwipes that are screwing Destiny City into the ground. I decided, a little while ago, that I didn't want to go along with their awful s**t anymore. I wanted to get out of this awful Mafia ripoff and go my own way with the power I've got, and I met this guy who told me about purification (and don't count on any name other than mine being present here). I decided I'd do it, but my brother, who is also in the Negaverse, didn't
This isn't going right.
I'll boil it down. I'm in a s**t place. I used to just be a slave, but now I'm a prisoner. I did something that screwed up my chances for freedom, but it wasn't stupid. It just didn't pan out the way I wanted it to. Now someone else is a slave, and I'm worse than a slave. So much for slipping the proverbial yoke.
It was my brother's idea to give me a journal. Thought it would help me pass the time, I guess. He didn't exactly do anything to stop me from getting tossed in this shitpit. And that's the way he's always been - out for himself, not so much other people. He's manipulative too, but not in ways that you'd recognize right off. Like throwing me this journal to use - I bet there's some ulterior motive behind it, even if I don't know it yet. He probably just wants me to think that he cares, even though I know he doesn't. I can't even say for sure. It feels like my brain's been slowed down or something - like not knowing the date or time is somehow screwing my ability to process information.
With my luck, it's gotta be the machinations of some youma around this dump. I haven't seen any since they put me here, but occasionally they're around. Captains' new toys, I'm guessing. Some of them like to come by and snarl at me, like it's somehow gonna do something. They can teleport through the bars, though, even if I can't. I bet they want me to think I'm lucky that they aren't letting their new pets devour my starseed, but that beats the s**t out of rotting here.
Or I like to tell myself that.
I don't know how long they're gonna keep me here. My guess is it's been half a day, maybe. I fell asleep for a while. I don't know how I can keep track of the time. There's no windows or clocks or anything. It's always gonna be a guess.
So far no one has visited me though. I haven't seen my brother since he gave me this thing, or Laurelite since I got tossed in here. Laurelite seemed pretty disgusted to even look at me, so I doubt I'll have to worry about her for a long time. With my luck I'd just spit in her face and she'd turn me into a youma or something. Talk about a shitty way to go.
I try not to think about it, though. I don't want to panic. not in front of them. I hope someone kills me quick if I turn into one of those things...
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 3:55 am
Day 7?
Word Count: 581
I've been thinking about biting off my own tongue. I remember reading about it during my history unit. It's supposed to be this great way to go if you're gonna die defiantly, and you have no other way to do yourself in. So I started with just chewing on my tongue for a while, and I guess that's where the idea came from - I was hungry, and I thought maybe chewing would help - and then it came into this idea. Maybe it's overdramatic. I don't know.
I've been working at it for a while. I don't know how long. Maybe days, maybe a week. No one has visited me yet. Yet? I don't know if they will. Maybe not. This could be intentional.
But tongues.
I can bite it and bleed a little. It hurts a lot. I've tried to just bite the whole thing off but it hurt so damn bad that I started kicking the bars just so I could tolerate it. How can anyone do that? Felt as bad as getting corrupted and I didn't make much of a scratch. It's sore now, and if I roll my tongue I can feel the lacerations. Maybe it'll get infected. Wouldn't that be nice? Death by sepsis. Sepsis? I don't know. Diseases. I should lick the floor.
I should ******** do something.
I should also say that I started a routine. Somewhat. I always write before I sleep. It doesn't matter when it is. Just always write before I sleep. It's something. It's company. Did you know the people who come here won't respond to me if I yell? I tried talking to the guy who brings me food too. Nothing. It's like I don't exist. I don't get what I'm supposed to do. Do they want me to swear allegiance to the Negaverse? Or corrupt someone? Or kiss Laurelite's feet? I don't know. I just have to get out of here. Anything to get out of here. Anything at all.
Sometimes I try to escape but there's no way to get out. The bars don't budge, and even if they look old they don't break out of the cavern wall or anything. Nothing budges, even with senshi strength. And there's these creepy crystals growing out of the wall but they don't seem to do anything. I'm not sure what to do. I can only sleep for so long. When is this gonna end?
I won't give in to this. I don't want to be a part of their organization. There's nothing for me there.
I just tried it again. Can't get farther than a bleed. It's so hard just to keep up will. My tongue is so sore. I've been thinking about trying a hunger strike but I'm worried. They'll notice when none of the food gets eaten. I thought about digging holes behind the crystals and just burying it there. But how long will it take to smell? If I don't overpower it - I haven't bathed since I got here. And they're gonna notice when I start dropping pounds. Will they know how to force feed me? Will my tongue be infected by then? Everything feels like it's too slow. I can't stop worrying.
I guess I'll call it a night.
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I just woke up and it felt like someone was watching me. I tried calling out but no one was there. I didn't feel anything.
Something is so ******** wrong here.
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