Dear Professor,

This is the fourth letter I started for you. I learned with the first one that it wasn't exactly a good idea to write with a gel pen after I accidentally smeared half the letter away with my hand as I was writing it. The next two letters were filled with enough scratched out sentences that it looked like some sort of weird top secret document that was leaked to the public but had all the juicy bits censored out but not too much in order to make it still look legit, y'know?

Anyway. I landed a job at a PokeMart! I guess my old boss kept her word about hooking me up with one. She called it a transfer, I think? Anyway, I... actually wrote her a thank you letter. I mean, I moved around Sinnoh a lot as a kid (thanks Parental Overlords!) but moving completely out of the country to somewhere new was just... Wow. I mean. Seriously?! I never thought I'd be happy a job that killed my free time would be how I met my friends.

Even if they do call me Green Chansey. Jerks. <3

Oh yeah! I should probably explain that huh? Baraz -- that's the egg you guys are having me eggsit. Hatch? Gave me? It's kind of hard to think of it as an it when it's going to be a pokemon and oh Genesect did I just call it an it several times AUGH I NEED TO STOP but -- well. Let me try again.

I've been keeping Baraz close. Keeping it-him-egg in a locker didn't seem all that... great so I got clearance from my boss to keep him in my apron pocket. At the PokeMart we all wear aprons, y'know? I usually stuff a pen and some reading material in there but I've had to dump it and a bunch of paperclips and change I never knew I picked up out in order to put him in (wow that sentence looks so wrong but there's no English teacher here to correct meeee wait Professor are you an English teacher ohgosh I'm so sorry!)

Augh! I keep getting side-tracked! This is exactly what happened to the previous letters!

Anyway. Egg into apron pocket. Baraz has been hanging out with me at work and in a way I think he's single-handedly convinced everyone of how awesome I am. Or at least he's as much of an attention whore as I am. "Aww honey how's your egg doin' today?" "What a cute egg!" "You're like a Green Chansey!" Chelsea I swear I'm going to get you one of these days.

I should probably talk more about Baraz instead of calling it an "it" huh? I've actually gone into my school's library for once to learn a bit more about the pokemon he's apparently fused with. Did you know that a Finneon isn't an eeveelution despite its name ending in "-eon"?! Oh wait, you're a professor duh of course you know wow I look stupid now can we just pretend I never wrote that?

WELL finneon apparently glow in the dark. Bioluminesquent? Bioluminbiscut? Their pink markings absorb light and glow in the dark. Baraz' egg does that too! He doubles as the most adorable night-light! It's awesome until I want to go to sleep, then the glow makes it a bit hard but it's a glowing egg how cool is that?!

Hey hey Professor, do you know if eggs are aware of what's going on around them? I had a bunch of leftover bright-a** makeup that I wore for a bit before realizing how ridiculous I looked. I kind of... decorated Baraz' egg with it for a bit by drawing all over him and practicing my make-up technique.

Don't give the paper that look I washed him off! Finneon are fish so I figured he'd like an excuse to take a bath more often. I'm kind of worried and maybe a bit paranoid that I might accidentally cook him so the water's more luke warm than not, which means depending on the type of makeup I used on him it can take a bit of scrubbing to get it off... But he just looks so cute!

I've held off on buying accessories for him right now. I mean, what if what I get him something that he doesn't like? Or doesn't fit him? Or doesn't look good on him? I have no idea what he looks like or what his size will be or even if he'll tolerate it or oh man oh man I'm getting very nervous EXCITED AND PUMPED!

Right! I need to go catch a Pelipper to go send this off to you. I hope this finds you well and that you're looking to Baraz as much as I am! We're going to be the talk of the town IN A COMPLETELY GOOD WAY STOP LOOKING AT THE LETTER LIKE THAT.

Faithfully Being Fabulous,

Joan Archer