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| What is true love to you? |
| The willingness to go out of your way for the one(s) you love... |
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50% |
[ 5 ] |
| I don't believe in love... (you poor soul...) |
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10% |
[ 1 ] |
| D'aww! <3 |
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40% |
[ 4 ] |
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| Total Votes : 10 |
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 Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 1:29 am
You start to realize how much you suppress old feelings for your childhood best friend...
My best friend and I have gotten back into each other's lives since Mid-February. It took us both some getting used to our new personalities, my sister's thought when she saw her and I both at work is "dear god there's two of them now." I've found it harder to suppress the old feelings I had for her. And I'll explain why...
She had met a younger woman who still has feelings for her to this day, whom she didn't run away from but she did break her heart because she wasn't ready for that kind of relationship.
She has recently fallen head over heels for another woman whom flat out rejected her and broke her heart, I've done all I can do to be there for her during a broken heart...I hate to see her in pain and I'd do anything to see her smile.
So she's come to a part in her life where she's to put it bluntly...torn. She wants to get back with the old one. But she's afraid of hurting her again, I encouraged her to try because I've seen the way she is when she thinks of her or talks about her. I've never stood a chance I know that.
Now I know what you're thinking "what about you Shiny?" Well...she'll always be in my heart and will always be my best friend. And that's all we'll ever be, I know and understand this. It doesn't hurt me to know that she's happy, that's all that I ever wanted for those closest to me.
And I bet you're still thinking, "What about you Shiny?"
In truth, I was always the lone wolf of our old group of friends...
they say to go out and find your love...I've tried that, all that ever happened is that I got hurt. I learned a lot in that time. Truthfully I'm done looking for "the next relationship." I'm done going from relationship to relationship, always being let down and hurt...
I'm ready for the next stage in life. Which is to settle down and have a family. So I seem fairly stand-offish towards people now. It's because no one has caught my eye or my fancy. No one has proved they're ready for that next stage. So to me, it doesn't matter if I'm alone. I'm perfectly happy just the way I am. Doing what I do best, helping those closest to me.
Wow, you're still reading this? I thought my wall of texts were boring...anyway, if you have advice for my friend, let me know. This was a post aimed more towards advice for her rather than me. It was a venting story that kept me awake...
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Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 11:19 am
If you don't mind me asking, why don't you tell her how you feel?
You're a very good friend from what it sounds like but whether you're just too humble or playing blind, it is about your happiness just as much as hers! Chances are that it is possible the other woman she likes will turn her down. You are not only ultimately setting yourself up to get hurt but the one you love as well. If you can really feel so much love to let her go for what you feel is her benefit than you should also know that you are cheating yourself AND her out of what could potentially be an amazing beautiful relationship; a giant step forward.
.....that's just what I believe.
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Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 11:59 am
Actually, she and the other woman are together now. And she DOES know how I feel and she can't return those same feelings. I told her my feelings the night I wrote this thread. She also knows I'm happy for her and it doesn't hurt me to know she is happy.
We've been best friends since we were 9, we've always been there for each other...she hurt me once when we were younger, the first time I told her my feelings, we were 18 and she ran away from me...We were out of each other's lives for 5 years...I recently told her that I have been suppressing my feelings for her and she didn't run away this time, but she did say she didn't share the same feelings for me. And I respect that. Oh and let me emphasize this once more SHE HURT ME ONCE WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER.
I'm moving in a couple weeks so it's not like we have much time to hang out around each other any more. She did say she'd stop by and visit me for my birthday while she was on her way up to Seattle where an old friend of ours lives that she's moving in with. It's better for me to let the feelings go again, so I'm not hurt AGAIN because I know if it were meant to be, she or whoever I'm supposed to be with, will come when the time is right.
I've learned to be patient and await what new adventure the goddess and the universe has in mind for me.
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