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 Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 12:26 am
Zephy here and I guess I'll start off with a bit about myself. I'm 20 and still attending college. I haven't started on transitioning yet, I haven't come out to my parents yet, but I've told my closest friends and my sister. I currently have a boyfriend who loves me very much and we're in a long distance relationship
Feel free to post in the thread about your views, insights, resources to help me on my quest x3
Current objective: Go apply for a part-time job and maintain it for a week, find a cheap apartment and visit it and finally go tell my parents about myself.
I don't really know if my parents will accept me or not ' x ' It's kinda ripping me apart not knowing, but at the same time I feel like I don't want to know or I might end up being rejected, but I know I still have to do it anyways. Also feel like leaving home because my sister seem to grab the attention of my parents more and I feel like I'll bring them lots of trouble and stress with my transformation x . x
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Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 4:22 pm
are you afraid of coming out to your parents?
at first i was afraid that telling my parents about me transitioning but it turns out sometimes they can be very supportive
but u always have to have a back up plan
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Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 5:37 pm
Sugar Rush OC are you afraid of coming out to your parents? at first i was afraid that telling my parents about me transitioning but it turns out sometimes they can be very supportive but u always have to have a back up plan I know, but Chinese culture generally involve more emphasis on having male offsprings than female ones x . x Of course my parents can be supportive, but at the same time parents can be unsupportive at the same time which is why it's scary x ~ x
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Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 6:02 pm
`Zephyra Sugar Rush OC are you afraid of coming out to your parents? at first i was afraid that telling my parents about me transitioning but it turns out sometimes they can be very supportive but u always have to have a back up plan I know, but Chinese culture generally involve more emphasis on having male offsprings than female ones x . x Of course my parents can be supportive, but at the same time parents can be unsupportive at the same time which is why it's scary x ~ x what i did was i dressed up for halloween to see what their reaction would be like
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Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 6:42 pm
Sugar Rush OC `Zephyra Sugar Rush OC are you afraid of coming out to your parents? at first i was afraid that telling my parents about me transitioning but it turns out sometimes they can be very supportive but u always have to have a back up plan I know, but Chinese culture generally involve more emphasis on having male offsprings than female ones x . x Of course my parents can be supportive, but at the same time parents can be unsupportive at the same time which is why it's scary x ~ x what i did was i dressed up for halloween to see what their reaction would be like I haven't dressed up for halloween since I was like 8 years old. That and Halloween is almost half a year later so I ain't doing that xD
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Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 7:04 pm
`Zephyra Sugar Rush OC `Zephyra Sugar Rush OC are you afraid of coming out to your parents? at first i was afraid that telling my parents about me transitioning but it turns out sometimes they can be very supportive but u always have to have a back up plan I know, but Chinese culture generally involve more emphasis on having male offsprings than female ones x . x Of course my parents can be supportive, but at the same time parents can be unsupportive at the same time which is why it's scary x ~ x what i did was i dressed up for halloween to see what their reaction would be like I haven't dressed up for halloween since I was like 8 years old. That and Halloween is almost half a year later so I ain't doing that xD ya i didnt really either lol they were like really im like why not and i did it when i was around your age.....not like im much older lol im gonna be 25 this year T__T
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Posted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 11:41 am
Hi Zephy,
I'm glad you started writing about your transition too. I'm sorry that your parents value sons more than daughters. My family is Hispanic so there's a double standard between men and women and it drives me crazy! I haven't come out to my family either and I've tried with my sister, but no one seems to understand (maybe I'm not saying it right). Anyways you can always stay up late and dress how you want late at night. I do this from time to time because I still can't find the courage to dress how I want. It's a small step, but it brings me great happiness when I'm dressed how I want. Hope this helps a little.
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Posted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 2:08 pm
Raving Dapper Hi Zephy,
I'm glad you started writing about your transition too. I'm sorry that your parents value sons more than daughters. My family is Hispanic so there's a double standard between men and women and it drives me crazy! I haven't come out to my family either and I've tried with my sister, but no one seems to understand (maybe I'm not saying it right). Anyways you can always stay up late and dress how you want late at night. I do this from time to time because I still can't find the courage to dress how I want. It's a small step, but it brings me great happiness when I'm dressed how I want. Hope this helps a little. Well the problem for me is that I have no skirts and stuff to dress myself up xD My sister doesn't really have any either and we're not really in good terms with each other at the moment. After I come out to my parents I was thinking of buying a bunch of clothes to wear ' w '
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 2:34 am
 So basically 2 months has passed and I have done nothing. Each day I curse myself at how pathetic I am to be unable to get things under control. I KNOW I want to do this transition, but I dunno, I guess just this life right now is not that bad. I know once I start then these problems will rush out to me as well. I'm hoping I can get a job and start after my birthday (within 3 weeks).  However, being bombarded by 3 project (one of them is finally completed), 2 weekly quizzes (these take so much time to make notes for...), a stream to upkeep, and my BF who is kinda lazy and doesn't really understand what I go through sometimes (I tell him I want a job and he asks me why I don't get one while he watches videos and plays games all day and not going to school). Sometimes I just want more time, but knowing me i like finishing it at the last minute anyways. I've also started to get a lot of back pain lately, but tried many things to counteract it like stretches, deep breaths, and more sleep. I hope I can get started on transition for my birthday present from myself.
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 3:35 am
 My birthday is tomorrow and hopefully it won't be the last one I celebrate with my family. I'm thinking about coming out as soon as I finish my first final exam (April 10th) and just deal with what happens next.  Originally I wanted to get a job first and everything completely planned out. I decided that this was eating me from the inside a bit too much and if I don't take that step now I'll just keep delaying it like before. I'm sure that even if I end up out of the house I'll be able to do fine so I don't need to worry too much.  I hope my parents accept me though. I know it'll be rough for them so I really don't expect them to, but I'll really miss them.
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 10:51 am
I know it'll be difficult, but my main advice to you will be try to stop worrying about it so much. Your parents (and others) will pick up on it, and automatically assume that something is wrong. Try to hope for the best. If I were you, I wouldn't make a big thing about 'coming out' as once again, people will think you're bracing them for bad news.
Personally, I'd go about this in a more subtle way. Don't just come out and suddenly change, because that will upset someone. Try introducing little changes every now and then, and that way it'll be less of a shock for people. If someone asks you about it, just mention it in conversation. Try not to fixate on it.
Hope I've been of some help. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 2:38 pm
Bluetabbycat I know it'll be difficult, but my main advice to you will be try to stop worrying about it so much. Your parents (and others) will pick up on it, and automatically assume that something is wrong. Try to hope for the best. If I were you, I wouldn't make a big thing about 'coming out' as once again, people will think you're bracing them for bad news. Personally, I'd go about this in a more subtle way. Don't just come out and suddenly change, because that will upset someone. Try introducing little changes every now and then, and that way it'll be less of a shock for people. If someone asks you about it, just mention it in conversation. Try not to fixate on it. Hope I've been of some help. 3nodding  I guess that is a better idea. A bunch of people have tell em to try to do it subtly, but I have no idea how to get it to work.
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 3:11 pm
ZephyAlurus Bluetabbycat I know it'll be difficult, but my main advice to you will be try to stop worrying about it so much. Your parents (and others) will pick up on it, and automatically assume that something is wrong. Try to hope for the best. If I were you, I wouldn't make a big thing about 'coming out' as once again, people will think you're bracing them for bad news. Personally, I'd go about this in a more subtle way. Don't just come out and suddenly change, because that will upset someone. Try introducing little changes every now and then, and that way it'll be less of a shock for people. If someone asks you about it, just mention it in conversation. Try not to fixate on it. Hope I've been of some help. 3nodding I guess that is a better idea. A bunch of people have tell em to try to do it subtly, but I have no idea how to get it to work. Well, for a start, I would suggest growing your hair out if you have short hair. And if you have chunky man-eyebrows, you could try plucking them into a more shapely, feminine style.
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 4:31 pm
Bluetabbycat Well, for a start, I would suggest growing your hair out if you have short hair. And if you have chunky man-eyebrows, you could try plucking them into a more shapely, feminine style.  Well my hair is already around shoulder length and my parents have been bugging me for a while to cut it now. I'm sure they know my name since they've called me Zephy a few times and it's part of my signature and I refer to myself as Zephy at times. I dunno about the eyebrows though. I haven't really looked into eyebrows and I don't really notice the difference between them too much.
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Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 10:48 pm
So I finally got enough courage to say it to my parents and they kinda just denied it, but at least they were more understanding of it. They said stuff like "I don't really find you like a girl" or "You just need to be around more people"  To me that's kind of fine. They don't really think that but I feel like In due time they'll start to realize it. I'm just glad it's not anywhere near the nightmares I've been having the past few weeks and the thing eating away at my sanity is gone.
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