I know a woman who is having a lot of trouble motivating her 14 going on 15 year old daughter to do anything at all... Her daughter is very lazy and most of the time just seems bored, listless, and depressed like she has no joy or zest for life, but when she gets to watch anime, play video-games, listen to music, go out to sing karaoke, or gets candy or a doll or some other nice thing that she likes she just brightens up like a wilted sunflower perking up when it's watered and brought into the sun! She seems to be much more motivated when given a reward then when punished as proven by her older brother who got her to improve her grades in order to earn herself a new boom-box that only she would be in charge of using.. but her mom was to blind to notice and continues the same failing methods of punishing her for what she doesn't do with no reward for what she does do, when having talked to her I know that that's what she's really looking for.
The poor girl doesn't see the point if she gets no reward and not even praise or a pat on the back and she's the type that gets easily discouraged and gives up on things if they are "too hard" or "too boring" and don't seem "worthwhile" to her... What her mom is doing is all wrong for her personality type... but she keeps beating her head against that same immovable wall of failing and expecting different results just because her methods worked on her son (who happens to be my fiance) and her oldest daughter who were born self-motivated perfectionist types. The worst part is she doesn't trust logic, reason, common sense, or scientific studies, only the bible, so
I would like to know:
Is there anything in the bible that actually supports the benefits of using positive behavioral reinforcement through rewards over negative reinforcement through taking things away?
PS
I know that her mom isn't made of money and can't afford a new gadget or a DVD or CD or toy everytime she needs to motivate her daughter, but she could at least take her to McDonald's to use the laptop on their free wi-fi (since they don't have internet at home) or let her go to a friends house, or give her permission to borrow a game or a movie from a willing friend, or rent a movie, or go to the dollar theater, or get something cheap from an everything's dollar store, or just go some place to sing karaoke as a reward now and then when she does something right & pick and choose what reward for what out of those.
The fool just doesn't realize what powerful tools she has at her own disposal and I fear she won't until her daughter becomes a teenage drop-out and goes down the wrong path in life just because she didn't have the right motivation to cut the mustard... it really is sad cuz this girl has potential if her mom could realize that the very simple pleasures of life that she's denying her daughter to keep her from getting "distracted, obsessed, or corrupted", could be just the enticing cheese that guides this lazy apathetic mouse threw the maze of life to success!
+ It just never occurs to her that the things she shielding her from (anime and video-games mainly) aren't even what led her other daughters who weren't even into them to become the rebellious sluts they are today and that having hobbies and interests might spare her youngest daughter that fate. I honestly hate this woman and want to prove her wrong by raising any children I bare with her son "my way" and having them excel and outperform hers in every way.
Saving Christianity from Christians
a Guild for teh eBil liberals
![]() |
|
|||||
|
||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
//
//
//
//
//
Have an account? Login Now!
