[Q] Aiden Hale // Slidr Page of Mercury | Page 1 | Accepted Quests | Guild Forums

Shanyume

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Posted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 2:11 am

Name: Aiden Hale

Nickname: N/A

Age: 1920

Birthday: September 19

Sign: Virgo

Gemstone: Sapphire

Blood Type: O-

Fav. Food:Pot roast, hamburgers (from the BBQ... fast food is okay), potatoes (any form) and in the Summer - frozen lemonade

Hated Food: Ramen, he's tired of it.

School: Destiny City University - Junior, did running start in high school utilizing the bridge program at HITS before transferring to DCU.

Hobbies: Though he'll never admit to it he is an avid ballroom dancer and has danced competitively with his sister Jenna since they were children.

Parkour The world is his playground. As a kid the jungle gym was not big enough to contain let alone entertain him. Quite the monkey as his mother so frequently endearingly called him Aiden is quite literally all over the place. Once his parents learned of Parkour they signed him up for classes which taught him the safe way to go about interacting with your environment (climbing walls, leaping from one place to the next etc), how to identify dangers, proper way to fall etc. Since a kid this has been a large part of his life and will continue to be till the day he dies or becomes paralyzed whichever comes first.

Present day he partakes in Parkour on a daily basis from simple acts of climbing over retaining walls to the bus stop or jumping down flights of stairs, over rails in some cases, on his way to class. Usually at least once or twice a week he does go to a parkour specific gym (controlled environments and obstacle courses) during open hour, however, on occasion he has been asked to come help teach the new students a thing or two due to his level of experience.

Swimming As a kid when his parents told him to cool off they didn't think he would take them quite literally when he jumped into a pool, kids will be kids, boys will be boys. Regardless Aiden had been swimming since he was very little as he grew up this became his place to relax do laps or just have fun. He did join a swim team while he was in junior high and for a while was a part of a high school sister school team since HITS didn't have any sports. However this only lasted a year in High School as competitive swimming began to steal away the joy it once held for him.

Since graduating high school he has continued to partake in swimming as means of primary exercise as opposed to lifting weights at the gym. He's not at all too picky location wise as to where he goes to do laps or mess around; lakes, public pool free swim, or local private gym as a guest. Every so often he tends to ask his sister to come join him to time how long it takes him to complete 'an event' just to ensure he isn't slipping.

ReadingThere are only two genre's that Aiden refuses to read... Young Adult and Romance. Anything else is fair game though he gravitates towards classics, mystery, and science fiction. Generally speaking he reads a 300 page book every 3- 5 days depending on interest level and how chaotic life is at the time (school work and other responsibilities pulling him away from reading). Unfortunately his personal book collection is quite small and looks ratty from overuse but that's why he has a library card. As much as he would like to own a e-reader it's not the wisest option for him with his parkour. He knows himself enough that there would be a high probability he would accidentally break the digital device by landing on it should he forget it was in his backpack.

Virtues:
loyal Devoutly loyal to friends and family, unless given a reason to no longer trust a person he is there by their side to back them up without question. He is a person that people can trust to keep a secret and do everything in his power to uphold his promises.

Focused He is not the type to be easily distracted as he is fairly dedicated to the task at hand. Whatever he is doing at the time has his full and undivided attention. This is seen as a fairly good thing since it means he is not doing things half assed or haphazardly.

quick thinker In a pinch he's quick on his feet, though it may not be the best decision at the time, at least he came up with something. Weather it being quick to reply or quick to act (leap of faith style especially in parkour, plan your path, think fast, and go) hes not one to hesitate, though he will admit 'I don't know'.

Flaws:
over protectiveHe can be quite venomous toward people who speak ill or harass those he cares about or is loyal to. Whatever it is people want to say about him, he doesn't give a damn but the moment they start talking about people he's close to, they better be prepared for a good verbal lashing (or even a physical one if in powered form) Ever since his father walked out on them (mother and younger sister) he's picked up that role as 'the man of the house' and with that role he's accepted certain responsibilities much to the disdain of others. The closer he is to someone (ie long friendship, relationships, family) the more he mother hens.

risk taker What he sees as a leap of faith others tend to see as reckless or hazardous. Think of him as a real life Leroy Jenkins, runs in head first with little planning. If you take too long coming up with a plan well touch s*it he's already gone and you better catch up. He hasn't sustained multiple broken bones, sprained ankle (twice) sprained wrist and hairline fractures for nothing. Some people think he'd learn by now; but he refuses to stand idly or meandering from day to day with little else to do. Just the thought of it seems boring which is why he takes so many risks.

reserved/ seemingly asocial He is typically one to sit at a table by himself reading a book or working on homework. By doing so he may come off as unapproachable, that he would rather be alone but in reality that's not the case. Frequently, over time, friends have approached him saying 'I was actually intimidated as hell to talk to you' almost as if he gave off a vibe that says he'd rather be alone. It's not until the person gets to know him how wrong their initial reaction to him is (at least on the anti-social part).

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Blue with a gray ring around them here

Hair: Black feel free to add a dark blue tint here

Face: Face two piercings at the corner of his right eyebrow.

Clothes: Black hoodie with a blue fleece lining, simple t-shirt or long sleeve shirt, chain necklace with a ring on it (don't ask he won't tell) comfortable pants that are easy to move around in (not baggy pants), i-pod with ear buds.

Posted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 2:11 am

Knight Title: Page Slidr

Challenge: ((He has no challenge))

Uniform: ELEMENTS TO THINK ABOUT FOR UNIFORM

PLEASE THINK OF YOUR PLANET THEME(S) BEFORE GOING INSANE~!

(think leathery warm/ fur material all around despite pictures)
Top -- turtleneck shirt with a coat no cape, with a hood and like the boots fur trimmed similar to this with the fur and the lace up design up the sleeves
Bottoms -- here similar design with the lace up design on his top
Gloves -- here
Belt -- Might not need it but we'll see.
Shoes -- Shin high boots with fur lining on the inside / trim with black laces up the front. Pant legs should be tucked into them.
Shoulders -- See image for the top
Accessories -- Two eyebrow piercings above his right eyebrow.

Weapon -- Like the frozen waters of his wonder, his weapon takes shape of a frozen icicle to symbolize his wonder in weapon form.

Page: Fiber-optic Icicle "cane" (call it a cane and he'll beat you with it): 3' long organic in shape, Slidr weilds the staff mostly as a close-mid ranged weapon or throws it. It has the ability to take quite a few good hits but if he's not careful it will shatter.

Squire: Fiber-optic Icicle Bo Staff- 6' long organic shape like before. This staff not only has a bit more reach it is also a bit thicker around and more durable. When he makes contact either with a person or object he can channel his magic through it spreading ice over the area up to 3' radius area or up to 6' in a straight line along something. (~1' every 5 seconds - Total 35 seconds)

Knight: Fiber-optic Icicle (breakable) Bo Staff- 6' long organic shape like . This staff not only has a bit more reach it is also a bit thicker around and more durable. In addition he can break it in the middle and wield each piece individually. When he makes contact either with a person or object he can channel his magic through it spreading ice over the area up to 3' radius area or up to 6' in a straight line along something. (~1' every 5 seconds potential of two places at once - Total 60 seconds)

Primary color - Dark blue
Secondary color - Black/ Gray

Shanyume

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Posted: Mon Jan 20, 2014 8:55 pm

Shanyume

Hey Shan~ I come bearing crit~

ON THE CIVILIAN SIDE:

Virtues look good~

His "Overprotective" flaw isn't really reading as a flaw to me; I understand where you're going, but it seems like kind of a natural, if temperamental, reaction as written. Is he overprotective in other ways? Does he tend to be kind of obnoxious about it?

"Risk-taker" also is mostly reading as something that's just harmful to him; does he ever take people along on these adventures? Is he the type to ignore or brush off advice? (That can be frustrating!)

ON THE POWERED SIDE:

For the most part I think he looks good; however, much like Lieutenant weapons, Page weapons are generally kind of silly and trinket-y, so I think I'd be more comfortable with something like a fiber-optic baton rather than a proper staff.

Quote me once you've made changes and I'll be back for a second look!

Posted: Mon Jan 20, 2014 11:17 pm

Hey, Shan! smile I know that you're working super-hard on this quest, so I figured I'd stop by and give you some feedback? Anyway, this is nothing official, so if there's anything you disagree with, feel free to tell me that I'm full of s**t.

In general: You might want to go through and check your grammar and punctuation. There are some missing commas scattered throughout this profile that interrupt the flow, and your capitalization is a little inconsistent. It's just little nitpicks, but having a really neatly formatted profile has this weird effect of making everything in it read a lot better. If you have any questions, I'd be happy to go over it with you at some point and proofread.

Hobbies:

Parkour looks really good, and it's certainly a useful skill for a knight to have! If you wanted to expand it just a little, it might be useful to think about when and where he participates in this hobby - does he have a specific route or general area where he practices? Does he do it on his commute to school, or is it more of a days off kind of thing? Is he currently involved in any kind of parkour clubs? Hobbies are a big source of RP fodder, so try exploring the social possibilities.

For swimming, I'm sort of confused about how he participates in this hobby in the present. You say that he stopped swimming competitively in high school, so now he's just a hobbyist - does he participate in an intramural club? Does he just jump in the pool when he goes to the gym? It's great that you've thought about how this hobby shaped his development, but you might want to clarify what he's doing with it now.

Reading: This looks good and balances his physical interests. Food for thought: Is he the kind of person who will read his favorite books over and over, or is he more keen on reading as many stories as possible? Does he like to sit down and get lost and finish a whole book in one afternoon, or is he more the kind of person who likes to carry around a paperback and read it a bit at a time on the train and in coffee shops? How does he feel about e-readers: way of the future, or abominations.

Virtues:

I think that you might want to expand all of these a little bit and make them more specific to Aiden.

For example, with Loyal, you say that Aiden is dedicated to his friends and family unless he's been given a good reason not to be, but you don't specify how people earn and lose his trust. Does he make friends easily, or is he slow to trust? Is he hard work, but worth it? What does he expect from his friends in return for his loyalty, and what kinds of actions does he find unforgivable? You mention that he's really good at keeping secrets and promises, which is great, but there's more to being a loyal friend than just keeping secrets and doing what you say you will. Is he dependable? Is he the guy who you can count on to come over and keep you company and do chores for you when you're so sick you can't get out of bed? Is he a good listener? Is he there when the going gets tough? This is the beginning of a really great trait, but it would be even better if you fleshed it out more.

Focused: Like with Loyal, this trait has great bones but also some wide open spaces in it. What about Aiden makes him so great at focusing? Does he find some kind of zen in repetitive tasks, or does whatever he's doing have to be interesting? Does focusing make him a quick worker, or is he a perfectionist and therefore slower than he could be? Does focusing so completely on one thing make him bad at multitasking? I don't think you need to qualify him not half-assing s**t as a "fairly" good thing - it is a good thing, and you don't need to diminish your character's virtues, because he's nowhere near overpowered.

PS, how does this interact with his reading habits?

Quick thinker: This is great! I love how it ties in to his lifelong parkour hobby. I don't think there's much to do here, in all honesty.

Flaws

Over-protective: I really like that you've structured this to balance out with loyal, but like loyal, it might be improved with some bulking up. I'd be curious to know what form his verbal lashings take. Is he clever? Is he snide? Does he insult people with wordplay that might go right over their heads, or is he more brusque? I guess what I'm getting at is would he rather coyly insinuate that someone is an idiot, or flat out tell them to "******** off." Both of these are verbal altercations that could go with this trait, but they're the behavior of very different characters. Also, does this trait take any other forms? Is he jealous if his friends become close with other people? Does he mother hen anyone - "okay, but be sure to text me when you get there, and who are you going with, and will there be alcohol or boys or both at this party, and do you have a sweater" - ?

Risk taker: Again, I love how you're tying his traits into his hobbies. But I wonder - is he only a risk taker when it comes to parkour, or does it seep into other areas of his life? Is he a scary driver? Does he do weird experiments in his kitchen like deep-frying turkeys? Like Song suggested, how does he respond to advice? Is he the kind to take a warning as a challenge?

Reserved: First, I don't think this flaw needs two names. Secondly, would you mind going more in-depth about how his behavior contributes to giving people this impression? Just sitting alone reading doesn't really come off as aloof unless he's doing it in situations where it's sort of strange. Does he read at parties? Is he an introvert? Does he do something in his body language that gives other people the cold pricklies? I think you've got a really interesting start to this flaw, but you might want to think more about how it affects his overall personality and not just how it impacts people's first impressions. Right now you've suggested that he's slow to warm up to people and make friends - that might be an interesting lead to follow.

Appearance
What color is his skin?
Although it wouldn't show up in art, how tall is he and what's his build like? Is he tall? Short? Lanky? Stocky? Does he have broad shoulders like an olympic swimmer, or does he look more like a gymnast?

Powered
Song hit on pretty much everything I have to say about his weapon.

For his magic, you might want to think about Mercury's power themes: Technology and intelligence. (From the faction info thread.) Can you tie his current magic into either of these, or think of a different power that would?

Furthermore, what is the combative advantage of his ice? Does it make the ground slippery? Does it make things easier to break? Can it freeze things in place?

Anywayyyy, You've done some really great work here already and I look forward to playing with Slidr once you get him. If you have any questions at all about any of my notes, you know where to find me.