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New enemies worry an ancient entity. How do the Shinigami face beings as old as faith? 

Tags: Bleach, Shinigami, Roleplay, Soul Reaper, Zanpakuto 

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Sonoko : Snake katana hopefull [ Awaiting approvel ]

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JadeRabbitEmperor

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 9:11 am


± : . : ± : . : ± : . : ±Personal Information± : . : ± : . : ± : . : ±

User Image

Katana Name: Sonoko.
Nickname: Year of the snake
Human Name: Saweka Takamoto
Actual Age: UNKNOWN
Appearance Age: 19
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Bisexual.

Blood Type: No testing has been performed.
Medical Conditions: She is deaf to some extant, Able to hear in thuds. Her ears while unable to near sounds normally convert then into a verity of pops thuds and bangs she has come to understand. She is how ever able to rear lips though she does sometimes get words mixed up in translation.

Likes: Sweets, Warm weather and the feel of a cool breeze on a hot summers day.
Dislikes: Being disrespected and underestimated simply because shes not the most powerful of the Katana's.
Fears: The Dragon Katana
Relationships: N/A

Personality: She can can very shy, even in the heat of battle. Seemingly a total clot's at times but this is mostly due to a problem with depth perspiration cased by her deafness. Some times air brained and somewhat naive but always honest and upfront. Though this all hides an extremely cunning and quick thinking second layer to her. She tends to revel this side of her to very few opting to allow others to think of her as an idiot which she then uses to gain the upper hand in combat b shocking her enemy's. Though even despite this though she trys her level best to avoid fights when ever possible. She believes that drawing blood should be a last resort reserved for when nothing else will work between her and those shes dealing with.


Quote: "I really don't want to have to fight you, Can't you just give up ... please ?"

± : . : ± : . : ± : . : ±Appearance Information± : . : ± : . : ± : . : ±
Eyes: Neon ice blue.
Hair Length: About 2.8 feet at max.
Hair Color: Snow white to metallic silver.
Height: 4.9
Weight: 95 pounds
Marking(s) / Tattoo(s): N/A

± : . : ± : . : ± : . : ± Back ground± : . : ± : . : ± : . : ±
This is my story:
Sonoko is only able to remember small parts of her life before being sealed away. Nothing that make sense to her on any level though shes never shared any of these memory's with anyone else. Shes a bull headed girls who once has made up her mind nothing is going to stop her short or combat. Willing to die for those she loves she will go doing fighting with every once of energy she can muster to move her body with.
Despite her small stature compared to others her fighting skills have proven her value time and time again.

After the creation of the reapers she began to self medicate her body to hone a resistance to all types of poisons she could find. Most of which being human world poisons. After only a few short years she was able to take the most lethal poisons known from the human world with no side effects at all. This influenced her Zanpakuto's growth greatly.
When Shinigami began to appeared she had already proven her worth to the other Katana by killing many an arrancar level hollow who other wise would have been beyond normal combat tactic's.

When the war between the Katana and the Shinigami broke out she was the first to try and find a peaceful resolution to the issue. Meeting at least on five separate occasions to talk to the Shinigami in the hopes of convincing them to fall back and allow her to talk to her fellow Katana's. When this failed how ever she refused to take part in the battles that then followed until the soul king stepped forth and her live was then threatened as a direct result.

When finally sealed by the soul king she felt her ability's had feel short of the other Katana's. Proving little to no real value in the battle, and her action's may have in fact lead to their down fall. Had she joined the battle before hand she may have escaped.

Though unlike the other Katana she not then nor now wants to fight to gotie elite or the soul king again. As she was released from the binding seal she fleed from the other Katana's in hopes of finding a peaceful place to rethink her past actions and find a solution to what she knows is to come. War. But if need be she will fight for her follow Katana's, This time reserving peace for a time when her kind are at least free to be alive with out the threat battle.


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± : . : ± : . : ± : . : ±Katana Information± : . : ± : . : ± : . : ±
Reiatsu Color: White

Kido List / Way of Binding

9. Geki - Engulfs a target in red light, completely paralyzing them.
26. Kyakko - Hides the target from sight, presumably by bending light.
39. Enkosen - Summons a shield of condensed Reiatsu to block opponents' attacks.
62. Hyapporankan - A rod formed of energy is thrown towards the target before it disintegrates into numerous short rods which are used to pin the target to the surroundings and render them immobile.
63. Sajo Sabaku - Binds the arms of a target. It’s virtually impossible to break this spell on physical strength alone.
75. Gochūtekkan - Summons five incredibly tall and thick pillars to pin a target to the ground.

Hado List / Way of Destruction
1. Shō - Pushes the a target away from the caster.
4. Byakurai - The user fires a concentrated, powerful lightning bolt from their finger.
11. Tsuzuri Raiden - Electric current flows through any object the user touches and is able to lead electricity, damaging any target that is in contact with the object the current runs through.

± : . : ± : . : ± : . : ±Extra Information± : . : ± : . : ± : . : ±
Personal Skill: N/A

Theme Song:
Path of Duality
The day i die  
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2013 12:44 pm


Zanpakuto:

Zanpakuto Name: Stheno
Translation: Stheno
Zanpakuto Type: Gorgon / Reptile
Zanpakuto Weapon (Sealed):
User Image
Length: 2.7 feel
Width: 1.3 centimeters
Weight: 3.9 pounds.
Description: Sonoko used her sword's sheath as a sort of shield in hand to hand combat.

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Shikai:

Name: Yūriaru
Translation: Euryale
Description: The sheath turns into a spartan styled shield while the sword become an 8 foot long lance.
Restrictions: Unable to use Hado or kido. speed is reduced as well.
Release Command: Parusu to sono hiza ni sorera o motarasu.
Translation: Pulse, and bring them to their knees.
Unreleased form
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.
Length: The lance is 8.3 feel long while the shield is 3.2 feet wide.
Width: The lance is 1 inch around at the handle and 4 inch's wide at the blade.
Weight: The lance is about 15 pounds while the shield is about 12 pounds.

Name: Dokusei
Translation: Toxic:.

Abilities:

Name: Gorugon no gyōshi
Translation: gorgons gaze : Zanpakuto's that make physical contact 2 times with the shield revert to Shikai form for 3 posts. This counts for all releases of Bankai with a physical embodiment.
Cool down: 4 post



Name: Maidasu wa fure
Translation: The midas touch:.
If the lance gets a clean cut on the target the enemy that part of the body is then marked with a large X. If the lance ever cuts the enemy in the same place again while the shikai is active in this battle that part of the body's skin is turned to stone. Unable to move but also unable to be broken. Giving the enemy a shield of sorts. If the lance does not draw blood this effect does not happen.
Cool down: 1 post
Duration: Effects lasts until the shikai is released or the battle ends. Stones body parts revert to normal after words.

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Bankai:

Zanpakuto Weapon ( Bankai ):
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

Height: 5.9 foot.
Width: 1 inch
Weight: 8 pounds
Description: A long bow with a quiver of 36 arrows. Arrows have a rang of 130 meters and a speed of 62 MPH with am impacting power of about 15 pounds. Each arrow in of its self is 3.5 feet long with a 2 inch long arrowhead. The bow sports a set of 5 inch long spicks that all hold the same Neurotoxin effects as the arrows. Sonoko herself sports a reptile like scaled armor that is able to resist most piercing attacks as well as helps to regulate her temperature. This armor helps to buff damage from both fire and ice attacks. This armor comes with a 7 feel long tails she is able to fully control as though it was a snakes body, able to strangulate a foe and regrow if cut off.

Name: Kurage
Translation: Medusa
Restrictions / Draw backs:
Release Command: Fukai kamu chikara no chiwohiku
Translation: Bite deep and draw force blood

Appearance:
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

Abilities

Name: Toripuretto ya
Translation: Triplet arrows:
Each arrow shot turned into 3 arrows.
Rang 13 ward max most only travel 60 wards.
Cool down: 0 posts ( stagnant effects )

Name: Mamushi kōshō
Translation: Vipers bite: Each arrow is tipped with a Neurotoxin: that slowly burns its way through the body.

While a single arrow's poison in of its self in not powerful enough to kill three arrows can cause a list of side effects more then able to kill. Arrows hit with enough force pierce clean through a cinder block.

Side effect may include.
Increased heart rate that can lead to a heart attack if the effected does not rest or retreat from the battle.
Nerve damage that prevents proper use of a body part or full body paralysis.
Full blown nerves system show down. leaving the enemy unable to flee or in some rare cases breath.
Cool down: 0 posts ( stagnant effects )

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Kochaku

Katana Appearance:
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

Length: 26 feet long
Width: about to 3 feet
Weight: 389 pounds
Description: Sonoko sheds her skins and cloths and turned into a giant blue snack with snakes for hair. She comes with all the advantages and weaknesses of a snake.

Kōchaku Name: Hebi
Translation: Snake

Restrictions / Draw backs:
Kōchaku Release Command:

Abilities

Name: Hada no koya
Translation: Skin shed: When afflicted by a mental of physical condition she can shed her skin to cure her self of the conditions. This can also be used to escape binding spells.
Cool down: 5 posts


Name: Shimetsukeru
Translation: Constrict : Wrapping her self around her target she squeezes the livfe from her enemy. With each breath they take the tighter she becomes. Her inner scales help to lessen any ability of escape as each ones acts like a razor blade all its own.
Cool down: 1 posts
Duration: 3 posts max

Name: Shinkei doku
Translation: Neurotoxin: Sprayed from the mouth to cause blindness. Kept in a poison sake under he tong. Is harmless until it makes contact with the oxygen.

This poison is a highly corrosive acidic poison able to burn clean through most objects within a matter of minuets. Metals and glass are resistant this this effect how ever.

The spray can be done as ether a single stream or as tiny droplets spread across an area of about 3 feel.

Rang 6 feet max.
Can be removed with water
Takes about 2 posts to eat through cloths and light armor
3 posts for heavy armor
4 for stones and 5 for anything else.
Cool down: 4 posts  

JadeRabbitEmperor

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iChan-Chan
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Tricky Informer

PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 4:04 pm


Ohhmaru-Concoo-Tanoweichi

Starting from the top, I'll be listing each issue with the profile.

For starters, her Personality and Bio conflict rather heavily. According to her Personality portion, the girl is hair brained, klutzy, shy, and naive. In contrast, the biography states rather explicitly that she's cunning, able to think quickly on her feet, and an incredibly dangerous combatant. These two sections paint polar opposites.

That being said, that isn't the only problem with her biography either. The first thing, aside from the conflict within the profile's different sections, is that it slids in the fact she's "immune to most lethal poisons." Firstly, something like that should be in a separate section on its own, rather than her bio. Secondly, in most guilds where this would be allowed, it would work on normal poisons, such as snakes, Human World Poisons, and perhaps several spiritual ones, it would not work on the Poisons created by zanpakuto (other than her own).

Furthermore, her details are a tad out of order. The Katena were the original beings, so unless she just down right neglected her zanpakuto for thousands and thousands of years before the Shinigami appeared, she would already know the name of her zanpakuto long before the Shinigami showed their faces. Continuing on that same issue, it seems as if you misinterpreted or did not fully read the back story. At no point in time have the Shinigami and Katena worked together. Almost as soon as the Shinigami appeared, war broke out. The two sides were engaged in genocide against each other. Going even further, her biography states she killed three of the acting Captains of the Seireitei, which is inaccurate in two ways. Firstly, the Seireitei wasn't created until after the defeat of the Katena. Secondly, none of the Captains, which they weren't at the time, were killed. They were all captured and used to gather information on the Soul King, who then rose up and defeated the Katena single-handedly. This also leads me to point out, that because the Soul King defeated and sealed the Katena, their seals would be equal in strength, although they wouldn't necessarily last the same amount of time, and more importantly, the Captains didn't seal anyone.

As for the remainder of her bio, hatred of the Shinigami is not required, but it is a key motive in the Katena's actions, so keep that in mind, especially when dealing with the others who will almost certainly seek out Sonoka.

Moving on to the zanpakuto:
The Description states the lance drips Poison. That needs to be converted into an ability in some way, shape, or form.

Gorgon's Gaze is incredibly over powered, especially when an opponent has to fight two people at once, as they find themselves pretty much unable to do anything, not to mention the ability in and of itself is virtually unavoidable. On top of that, no technique, with the exception of passives (and then, they need to be plausible ones) can have a limitless duration.

Midas' Touch is the same way. While more restricted, only being struck once can immediately turn someone on their allies until broken. However, because only Sonoka would know how to break it, most opponents would be helpless against such a technique. On top of that, it can afflict any number of victims, and puppeteers an person's RPC, which is directly god modding. Also, like Gorgon's Gaze, it has a limitless duration. My only suggestion for this technique is to change it entirely.

As an aside, the zanpakuto seems very illusion/mind control oriented, which will rarely every be allowed in any Bleach guild. This guild in particular will not allow such a zanpakuto of such a sort, as illusion and opponent mind altering zanpakuto are extremely tricky and incredibly over powered by nature. I'm saying this simply because it may give you a reason to look over it again.

Viper's Bite needs to be toned down at the very least, as well as being more descriptive than it currently is, as it's hard to tell just how many arrows it would take to cause any amount of problems.

Constrict, like both of your Shikai abilities, lasts indefinitely, which is a huge no. I understand that the ability is purely physical in nature, but no ability should have such a duration, aside from passives.

Neurotoxin needs more details, most notably a range, any ways to cleanse oneself of the poison once it's landed, along with a post count for the time it takes to eat through a material.
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 11:52 pm


iChan-Chan
Ohhmaru-Concoo-Tanoweichi

Starting from the top, I'll be listing each issue with the profile.

For starters, her Personality and Bio conflict rather heavily. According to her Personality portion, the girl is hair brained, klutzy, shy, and naive. In contrast, the biography states rather explicitly that she's cunning, able to think quickly on her feet, and an incredibly dangerous combatant. These two sections paint polar opposites.

That being said, that isn't the only problem with her biography either. The first thing, aside from the conflict within the profile's different sections, is that it slids in the fact she's "immune to most lethal poisons." Firstly, something like that should be in a separate section on its own, rather than her bio. Secondly, in most guilds where this would be allowed, it would work on normal poisons, such as snakes, Human World Poisons, and perhaps several spiritual ones, it would not work on the Poisons created by zanpakuto (other than her own).

Furthermore, her details are a tad out of order. The Katena were the original beings, so unless she just down right neglected her zanpakuto for thousands and thousands of years before the Shinigami appeared, she would already know the name of her zanpakuto long before the Shinigami showed their faces. Continuing on that same issue, it seems as if you misinterpreted or did not fully read the back story. At no point in time have the Shinigami and Katena worked together. Almost as soon as the Shinigami appeared, war broke out. The two sides were engaged in genocide against each other. Going even further, her biography states she killed three of the acting Captains of the Seireitei, which is inaccurate in two ways. Firstly, the Seireitei wasn't created until after the defeat of the Katena. Secondly, none of the Captains, which they weren't at the time, were killed. They were all captured and used to gather information on the Soul King, who then rose up and defeated the Katena single-handedly. This also leads me to point out, that because the Soul King defeated and sealed the Katena, their seals would be equal in strength, although they wouldn't necessarily last the same amount of time, and more importantly, the Captains didn't seal anyone.

As for the remainder of her bio, hatred of the Shinigami is not required, but it is a key motive in the Katena's actions, so keep that in mind, especially when dealing with the others who will almost certainly seek out Sonoka.

Moving on to the zanpakuto:
The Description states the lance drips Poison. That needs to be converted into an ability in some way, shape, or form.

Gorgon's Gaze is incredibly over powered, especially when an opponent has to fight two people at once, as they find themselves pretty much unable to do anything, not to mention the ability in and of itself is virtually unavoidable. On top of that, no technique, with the exception of passives (and then, they need to be plausible ones) can have a limitless duration.

Midas' Touch is the same way. While more restricted, only being struck once can immediately turn someone on their allies until broken. However, because only Sonoka would know how to break it, most opponents would be helpless against such a technique. On top of that, it can afflict any number of victims, and puppeteers an person's RPC, which is directly god modding. Also, like Gorgon's Gaze, it has a limitless duration. My only suggestion for this technique is to change it entirely.

As an aside, the zanpakuto seems very illusion/mind control oriented, which will rarely every be allowed in any Bleach guild. This guild in particular will not allow such a zanpakuto of such a sort, as illusion and opponent mind altering zanpakuto are extremely tricky and incredibly over powered by nature. I'm saying this simply because it may give you a reason to look over it again.

Viper's Bite needs to be toned down at the very least, as well as being more descriptive than it currently is, as it's hard to tell just how many arrows it would take to cause any amount of problems.

Constrict, like both of your Shikai abilities, lasts indefinitely, which is a huge no. I understand that the ability is purely physical in nature, but no ability should have such a duration, aside from passives.

Neurotoxin needs more details, most notably a range, any ways to cleanse oneself of the poison once it's landed, along with a post count for the time it takes to eat through a material.
Please review when able.

JadeRabbitEmperor

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iChan-Chan
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Tricky Informer

PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:35 am


Ohhmaru-Concoo-Tanoweichi
.

Firstly, I apologize for the delay, I wasn't feeling well last night or this morning or I would have reviewed sooner. It's been rather cold and I think I came down with a 24 hour bug. But, now that I feel better, onto the review.

I'm going to actually start at your Bankai, move down to your Kochaku and then back up to Shikai, so bear with me.

Your Bankai is perfectly fine now, save I'd like for triplet arrows to have a short (say 1-2 posts?) cool down period, simply to avoid the problems of a massive barrage of arrows akin to the Battle of Thermopalye (sp?).

Moving onto your Kochaku stage, the edits you've put into it are quite well, especially for Neurotoxin (a stream or a three foot cone is very nice), but it's still a bit strong in that multiple layers of it can be applied on the same object, so you should raise it's cool down by a couple of posts.

Now back up to Shikai. Your Shikai still seems simply too strong. Even with a cool down period, with the threat of force sealing leaves them little room to actually fight back aside from dropping everything that have nearly immediately. It's an interesting move, but just a tad too strong.

On top of that, Midas' Touch, which is arguably weaker, is in actuality much stronger. Two blows to the torso or the head would immediately kill any opponent. I'm sorry, but I have to ask you to change this move up some.
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 7:02 pm


iChan-Chan
Ohhmaru-Concoo-Tanoweichi
.

Firstly, I apologize for the delay, I wasn't feeling well last night or this morning or I would have reviewed sooner. It's been rather cold and I think I came down with a 24 hour bug. But, now that I feel better, onto the review.

I'm going to actually start at your Bankai, move down to your Kochaku and then back up to Shikai, so bear with me.

Your Bankai is perfectly fine now, save I'd like for triplet arrows to have a short (say 1-2 posts?) cool down period, simply to avoid the problems of a massive barrage of arrows akin to the Battle of Thermopalye (sp?).

Moving onto your Kochaku stage, the edits you've put into it are quite well, especially for Neurotoxin (a stream or a three foot cone is very nice), but it's still a bit strong in that multiple layers of it can be applied on the same object, so you should raise it's cool down by a couple of posts.

Now back up to Shikai. Your Shikai still seems simply too strong. Even with a cool down period, with the threat of force sealing leaves them little room to actually fight back aside from dropping everything that have nearly immediately. It's an interesting move, but just a tad too strong.

On top of that, Midas' Touch, which is arguably weaker, is in actuality much stronger. Two blows to the torso or the head would immediately kill any opponent. I'm sorry, but I have to ask you to change this move up some.
Sorry about to wait iv been busy ill get to fixing those asap.

JadeRabbitEmperor

High-functioning Garbage

19,525 Points
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JadeRabbitEmperor

High-functioning Garbage

19,525 Points
  • Bookworm 100
  • Married 100
  • Risky Lifestyle 100
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 7:12 pm


iChan-Chan

Your Bankai is perfectly fine now, save I'd like for triplet arrows to have a short (say 1-2 posts?) cool down period, simply to avoid the problems of a massive barrage of arrows akin to the Battle of Thermopalye (sp?).
I wouldn't be able to do that any way due to only have 36 arrows total. Id run out of arrows trying for a barrage attack. Plus id also need to draw an arrow natch it, aim and release for each arrow. IRL i can fire an arrow once every 10 seconds that's 6 arrows a minuet tops for me any way and that was the speed i based the power on. I could do a cool down if you really need me to but i kinda feel most people will just side step the arrow any way as i can't auto hit and i kinda think everyones going to just say they rolled to the side to dodge the attack unless im like right in their face with it.

iChan-Chan
Now back up to Shikai. Your Shikai still seems simply too strong. Even with a cool down period, with the threat of force sealing leaves them little room to actually fight back aside from dropping everything that have nearly immediately. It's an interesting move, but just a tad too strong.
What if i made it so what if i go into bankai the power is released ? i was trying to focus the idea of a seal or limitation of so sort any ideas ?

iChan-Chan
On top of that, Midas' Touch, which is arguably weaker, is in actuality much stronger. Two blows to the torso or the head would immediately kill any opponent. I'm sorry, but I have to ask you to change this move up some.
Sorry about to wait iv been busy ill get to fixing those asap.Any idea's how i can make a power based around Midas work then ?
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 7:45 pm


Ohhmaru-Concoo-Tanoweichi

It just needs a one post cool down. Aside from passive abilities, abilities in this guild require at least a one post cool down. I'm not asking for a long one, just a very brief one.

As for the Gorgon's Gaze, I just simply won't allow it to reseal the foe's zanpakuto. It could be a piercing laser for all intensive purposes, however, it's the fact that once Sonoka enters Shikai, she can be extremely difficult to beat due to the fact all she needs to do is shield bash repeatedly to win. She can seal Shikai and Bankai, and even then sealing other Shikai is far too strong an ability.

As for Midas, considering his legend involved turning everything to gold, I would surmise a dispelling or countering technique of sorts, abducting pieces of land or barriers into forms of reiryoku to be used as a projectile. Just a thought.

iChan-Chan
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Tricky Informer

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