Welcome to Gaia! ::

Q. Describe your self. What do you think about yourself and do you think people perceive you in the same way?

A. "Pretty much the most bombastic son of a gun Weapon X ever spawned. Everybody knows it, everybody's accepted it."


Q. Which is your most favorite book ever?

A. "Books? Who needs books when you're living an action movie?"


Q. Which is the one television character that you simply adore?

A. "Scooby Dooby Doo, Where Are You? Hahah, gotta love 'im!"


Q. What kind of music do you like?

A. "Who's got time to be picky with that sort of thing? I sure don't."


Q. Which is your favorite genre of movies?

A. "Action and comedy, duh! That's basically me in a nutshell."


Q. What do you do when you feel very sad or depressed?

A. "Easy! I stop feeling that way."


Q. What makes you angry? Are you short-tempered? How do you overcome your anger?

A. "I hate when people can't take a joke, I mean, c'mon! Everyone's gotta laugh a little. I'm only short-tempered all the time, but punching something out usually solves that problem."


Q. Which is the best vacation you've ever had?

A. "Ever been to Fiji? Fiji's great, you should try Fiji."


Q. If you could have a luncheon with any three people, real or fictitious, from any time period, dead or alive, which three people would you choose and why?

A. "Who cares who it's with as long as they're paying! I could be eating lady fingers with Logan for all I cared, as long as he picked up the check!"


Q. Which is your most cherished childhood memory? What kind of kid were you, naughty or nice?

A. "Definitely naughty. Favorite childhood memory has to be that one time I... oh wait, a fly, I'll get it!"


Q. If given complete freedom to start afresh, what profession would you choose and why?

A. "Doctor-slash-carney-slash-Super Saian."


Q. What is your idea of fun? If given a chance to skip work for a day, how would you spend the entire day?

A. "My fun is my work. Can't lie, I love what I do, heheh."


Q. Which is your favorite time of the day?

A. "Lunch time!"


Q. Are you a morning person or a night person?

A. "Night person, since it's a lot easier to get caught do what it is I do during the day."


Q. What is the craziest thing you've ever done?

A. "You can't handle the truth! And by that I mean I've lost count of all the crazy stuff I've done."


Q. Name one person you love the most and one person you hate the most.

A. "I love Spiderman. His costume's like mine, except not as cool. As for hate? Well, let's just say Mister "I'm The Best At What I Do" is sorta up on that list."


Q. If we were a couple and we had a fight, how would you try to patch things up?

A. "I would serenade the hell outta ya."


Q. What is the funniest prank played on you or played by you?

A. "One time I replaced Spidey's web shooters with silly string. He didn't think it was very funny."


Q. If given a choice, which animal would you want to be? Why?

A. "I'd be a koala. Everyone loves koala's!"


Q. Who was your first crush? Did you ever tell him/her about your feelings?

A. "Alas, The Webslinger rejected my most earnest affections"


Q. Which is your most favorite place in this earth?

A. "Did I mention Fiji? I think I mentioned Fiji."


Q. If you were stranded on a lonely beach, what are the five things that you would want, to survive?

A. "Internet, cable, a couple'a guns, a tv guide and a bed made'a money."


Q. If I gave you an elephant where would you hide it?

A. "Why in the hell would you want to hide such a majestic creature?"


Q. What is your favorite color of socks to wear?

A. "Neon green. They bring out my eyes."


Q. Do you wear boxers or briefs?

A. "Neither! Cheetah-print speedos all the way!"


Q. If you were a biscuit, which would you be?

A. "Why be a biscuit when you can eat a biscuit?"


Q. What's your favorite place to eat?

A. "Taco Bell."


Q. Name one actor/actress you would love to get naughty with.

A. "Angelina Joli and Toby Macguire just for laughs."


Q. All those fraud cases against your brother, are they true?

A. "What fraud cases? You know nothing! Forget whatever you heard about that!"


Q. Do you suffer from sleepwalking?

A. "Sleepwalking or sleep strutting?"


Q. Did you ever do drugs?

A. "What was your first clue?"


Q. Were you bullied as a kid?

A. "Noooo, don't be ridiculous! Hahah, I did the bullying."


Q. What is your favorite daily wear attire?

A. "You're lookin' at it."


Q. Women, Men, or Cars?

A. "Is there an all of the above option?"


Q. Who according to you is the best dressed man in the school?

A. "What school? I haven't gone to school in years! And you said I was on drugs."


Q. Who according to you is the worst dressed woman in the school?

A. "Yeeeaah, stiiiiill not following."


Q. Name an infamous accident of yours. Does it still haunt you?

A. "I don't have accidents, nuh-uh! If I did, I wouldn't let 'em get me down though."


Q. How does it feel to be the most desirable man/woman on the earth?

A. "It feels fantastic, of course!"


Q. What is Eskimo ice?

A. "Ice made by Eskimos? Oh wait, no, I know this! It's ice made from Eskimos, isn't it? Yeah, it's ice made from Eskimos, I'm like 300% sure."


Q. Do you like dogs or cats?

A. "Chinchillas! That's a kind of dog, right?"


Q. If I came to your home and looked inside the refrigerator, what would I find?

A. "Probably some leftover pizzas and a misplaces time-bomb or two."


Q. Tell me how many hats you have in your house?

A. "Who needs hats with this kick-a** mask?"


Q. How many pairs of shoes you own?

A. "Only need one."


Q. Is it true that you have a house in every country on this planet?

A. "Yes. Yes it is."


Q. How can you lift a polar bear with 1 hand?

A. "I dunno but I'll be damned if I'm not gonna go and find out!"


Q. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

A. "Nah, can't risk bringing a poor damsel into such a dangerous, swashbuckling life as mine. Now a Spiderman, maybe, but not a damsel!"


Q. What's your worst quality?

A. "I have none, I'm just kinda great all around. Wouldn't you agree?"


Q. If you were a t-shirt, what color would u be? Why?

A. "Red, duh."


Q. If you were a tree, what would you be?

A. "I'd be the mighty mahogany tree that breathes fire and eats your babies! ...Wait, you're telling me mahogany's don't actually do that?! I've been lied to all this time?!"


Q. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

A. "Sliced mahogany."


Q. Do you speak with your dog?

A. "I don't have a dog, but if I did I totally would. That'd definitely be some fun conversations."


Q. Why am I asking you these questions?

A. "Because you're as bored and lonely as I am? Heheheh, nah, I'm just messin' with you- I have no idea!"


Q. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

A. "Ahh, that made my brain hurt."


Q. Do you know how to drop an egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

A. "Yeah, throw it so hard it doesn't just crack, it just shatters completely!"


Q. What are you wearing?

A. "What am I, a phone-sex company?"


Q. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced as onety one?

A. "I don't know but it should be!"


Q. What is your favorite fruit flavor?

A. "Pineapple on pizza."


Q. Which two friends can you see together as a couple?

A. "Don't know, don't care. Too busy kickin' a** and takin' names."


Q. What was the happiest moment in your life?

A. "My first paycheck."


Q. If you knew that this was your last day on earth, how would you spend it?

A. "Like every other day because, yeah, I kinda can't die."


Q. Rate all your friends on the basis of their sense of humor on a scale of one to ten (10 being the highest).

A. "Logan's probably a steady two, Spidey's a twelve -dude's hilarious-, and Sabretooth's probably a strong negative five."


Q. If you were granted three wishes, what would you ask for?

A. "Chimichangas, unlimited wifi, and enough money to buy the Soviet Union."


Q. Name one annoying habit of any of your friends', which you would really like to change?

A. "Logan has this bad habit of trying to slice me up anytime we see each other. It's a serious hazard to his health, heheh."


Q. How many Languages do you speak?

A. "I speak one universal language- AMERICAN. Wait, no, CANADIAN."


Q. What are your pet peeves?

A. "Running out of ammo and losing an arm for it. See, that's just irritating."


Q. Where do you see yourself five years from now?

A. "I don't even know where I am right now, are you kidding me?"


Q. What would you do if you won the lottery?

A. "What I do with my money now- use it on whatever I want."


Q. If you were born a boy/girl, how would things have turned out for you?

A. "If I were a girl I think Spidey'd be a little more interested."


Q. Would you be brave enough to spend an entire hour alone in a cemetery?

A. "Been there done that. Hell, I've filled cemeteries."


Q. What is the one thing you wish you could do if given the chance?

A. "Make fire-breathing mahoganies a real thing."


Q. Do you believe that there is life beyond our planet?

A. "How do you know I'm not from beyond our planet, hmmm?"


Q. Got a phobia you want to share?

A. "Can fearing the internet going out be classified as a phobia?"


Q. What is the weirdest thing you've ever done?

A. "If I thought long enough on that one to come up with a good answer, we'd be here all week."


Q. If you could be anyone, who would you be?

A. "Let's just say "I'd be the best at what I do." Which I already am, but you get the reference I'm making."


Q. How long can you hold your breath?

A. "As long as it takes."


Q. Have you ever tried bungee jumping or paragliding?

A. "Yeah, and it's awwwwsommmme!"


Q. How do you think the world is going to end? In flames or an ice age?

A. "Both."


Q. What is your definition of an incredible weekend?

A. "Every weekend of my life because I'm Deadpool."


Q. What are the five things you cannot do without?

A. "Comics, weapons, cash, food, internet."


Q. Give us an idea of your hopes and dreams.

A. "Who needs hopes and dreams when you make as much money as I do?"


Q. What is your favorite day of the week?

A. "St. Patrick's Day. Oh. day of the week... nah, still gotta say St. Pattie's."


Q. If you had to choose between world domination or world peace, which one would you pick?

A. "World domination of course. Peace is boring, plus I'm already halfway to the first thing."


Q. What is your favorite breakfast meal?

A. "Pancakes!"


Q. Who or what inspires you?

A. "Mind-rotting horror movies."


Q. What is your favorite color and why?

A. "Red because I said so."


Q. If you could live on any other planet, which one would it be?

A. "Pluto, because I bet it's lonely. I don't care what NASA said, it's a planet to me!"


Q. How many places have you traveled to? Name them.

A. "Dude, I get sent out on so many missions to pretty much everywhere, I've lost count. Let's chock it up to everywhere and anywhere."


Q. Do you regret having this interview?

A. "Not really, I mean, I got a new buddy out of it! Yeah, you, who else?"

((That's funny, because I totally read this in his voice from that Ultimate Spider-Man episode. XD You used the same sarcasm he did in that.))