I am not that great at writing threads. Heck, I am so terrible at making forum posts, I am failing my all-too-easy online college class. I don't even know if this is the right thread to post in. I guess that it is really a little of everything: I am in need prayer, help, and comfort.
I am in a panic. My heart is racing, I have been coughing up in a way similar to vomiting, and my mind is restless. I have been depressed for much of this weekend and I have been having intrusive suicidal thoughts, although I would never consider them. I just want to throw punches, break things, scream and cry. I feel sick.
I love a woman immensely. I met her several months ago, and she has turned my life around. I consider her to be my girlfriend and she calls me her 'boyfriend', however she is also seeing someone else, and this is the root of my distress. I don't want to lose her to him. I am always afraid of this. Always afraid that I will wake up one morning and she won't be there to greet. I am afraid that she'll tell me that it is over between us. I am afraid of so much more than just this, too.
So I am reaching out. I am reaching out to here because I feel like I cannot bring this up to anyone else. I am in need of help and prayer. I need guidance and I need to be reassured. I love this woman more than anything or else I wouldn't be this hurt over even just the idea of losing her. Please, my Gaian Christian family, I am in need. Help me to find my peace.
Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 7:01 pm
Hello! to say that you're in a rough spot would be an understatement. It sounds like your emotions are going topsy turvy over a potential loss of a relationship you treasure. I'm not very experienced in relationships myself, but I'll try to offer encouragement in God's Word:
For starters, know that who ever gets placed in your life, they may only be there for a season and we are never to put things or people in our life that we treasure more than we do God. In fact, the first commandment found in Exodus 20:3 says we're not to have any gods above God. This doesn't mean that you worship little statues, but rather that there isn't supposed to be anything that preoccupies you more than God, or to put it another way, you're not supposed to be consumed by anything other than God.
I've done this before with other friendships where I've treasured that person and have forgotten God myself. Then, when that person started to mistreat me or they moved on in their life with me behind, I was at a loss. I may not feel the depth of what you may be feeling right now, but I have come within ear shot of it.
Here's some encouragement: "Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascent to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, 'Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,' even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for the darkness is as light with you" Psalm 139:7-12 ESV
In other words, in your darkest hour or the time you feel most alone God is with you! Satan is using this situation as an opportunity to steal your joy and get your focus off of God. Just like he fooled Eve in the Garden of Eden and tormented Job, his goal is to keep your focus off of God and put you in despair and bondage. But I encourage you this day to cast all of your sorrows on God, because he cares about you (1 Peter 5:7)!
Also keep in mind that nothing can separate us from the love of Jesus: "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rules, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" Romans 8:37-39 ESV.
Focus on Jesus and His love for you in this heart breaking time. At the end of the day, your sins are forgiven and you get to spend eternity with the being who sent Himself down to take the punishment for your sin on the cross so you can have fellowship with God forever, face to face. The pain of this life can overshadow the joy we as Christians have in Christ Jesus.
First of all, thank you very much for your uplifting words. I truly found comfort in them. And second of all, thank you for responding. I was afraid that no one would here and that I was going to be left to the attacks of unbelievers. And thirdly, have you, or anyone reading this, seen the movie Catching Fire? If not, here are some slight spoilers to it:
In one scene of the movie, our band of Tributes are running through the woods of the arena, chasing after the screams of their loved ones. Two of the Tributes run farther and faster than the others and are ambushed by a murder of jabberjays----birds that can perfectly mimic the human voice. The jabberjays taunt them with the scared cries and calls for help from their loved ones. They are flying all around and the two Tributes run back to the rest of the group, only to be separated by an invisible force field. They are so closed to their loved ones, but they cannot touch them or hear them. So, they are left with the relentless mocking cries of the birds, until the force field is lifted and they are reunited with their group.
I feel like that to a tee right now and it is terrifying and tormenting to me. I hear everything that everyone says, but none of it sticks. None of it sinks in.
Posted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 6:23 pm
There are key words here such as "afraid". Trust God in everything! Jesus did not die on the cross for us so that we can feel suicidal and afraid. With God, there is nothing to be afraid of. God is our light in the dark and is always there with us. Allow God to work into your life.
If this woman calls you her "boyfriend" and she's seeing someone else while having a boyfriend - it's cheating behavior. Ask yourself, "What makes me stay with her if she is cheating on me?" "Why is something I cannot control the root of my distress?" "What is God telling me to do?" "Does she truly have the love of God in her heart?" "Do I truly have the love of God in my heart?"
Why be afraid when we have a God that has spoken so many words about not being afraid?
Matthew 10:28 NIV
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
1 Peter 3:13-14 NIV
Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.”
1 John 4:18 NIV
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
Pray to God about your situations and most of all, listen! God says important things so it is important to listen and go in the direction that he wants us to go.
God is the one that provides peace - His peace is perfect. He has peace that we don't understand. If you let God work in your heart, pray to Him, study God's word every day, then you will feel God's peace - that will reassure you.
God has plans for your life. Don't act as if this was inflicted upon you and thinking, "My life is horrible..." God won't give us more than we can endure (1 Corinthians 10:13). Times will be tough, but as a Christian - suffering is guaranteed and is part of living a life in God. Satan wants to win and the ultimate question you need to ask yourself is, "Am I going to let God help me out of all of this or am I going to sit around and allow Satan to laugh in my face?" The choice is up to you.
First of all, thank you very much for your uplifting words. I truly found comfort in them. And second of all, thank you for responding. I was afraid that no one would here and that I was going to be left to the attacks of unbelievers. And thirdly, have you, or anyone reading this, seen the movie Catching Fire? If not, here are some slight spoilers to it:
In one scene of the movie, our band of Tributes are running through the woods of the arena, chasing after the screams of their loved ones. Two of the Tributes run farther and faster than the others and are ambushed by a murder of jabberjays----birds that can perfectly mimic the human voice. The jabberjays taunt them with the scared cries and calls for help from their loved ones. They are flying all around and the two Tributes run back to the rest of the group, only to be separated by an invisible force field. They are so closed to their loved ones, but they cannot touch them or hear them. So, they are left with the relentless mocking cries of the birds, until the force field is lifted and they are reunited with their group.
I feel like that to a tee right now and it is terrifying and tormenting to me. I hear everything that everyone says, but none of it sticks. None of it sinks in.
Hey, I"m glad to have helped. Being around unbelievers can especially get you down in your spirit. I was actually waiting for your response, but it turns out you had responded some time ago! glad God's word and the prayers I sent your way gave you peace smile
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