|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:38 pm
I don't know who to talk to so I'll put it here. I don't have doubts about who I am, at least not much anymore, but I do have doubts on whether I should transition or not. There are so many people against it when I hint at changing and many other confused as to why I would want to change. I'm confused as to why I want to change too. What if my old case worker was right that I'm confused about my gender because of what caused my PTSD? I know in my heart she was wrong about a lot of things, but I have wondered if PTSD affected me more than I originally thought. I was so young (too young to remember specifics about what I thought about my gender & my mental illness has affected my early memory recall).
A good friend tells me it could be 50/50 in my case. My gender identity can be caused by the events of my PTSD or this is how I always was with or without those events taking place. I wonder, does it even matter anymore? I am who I am now so does it really matter who I am now and just accept that this is who I am right now and continue forward?
I know when I dream and I dream about myself it's always split between what I look like now or a male version of me. I think my subconscious can't make that decision either. Just before I open my eyes in the morning I pretend that I've gone through top surgery and that I've had years to heal. That my clothes fit me how I feel they should fit me and I feel just right in my body. Once I open my eyes and realize that I'm not even close to being there I get sad and frustrated.
To one day wake up and know that all the obvious gender markers are not on my body anymore. That finally the image I have in my dreams and in my head are finally in front of the mirror staring back at me. That I no longer feel this huge amount of distress in having to cover up just right. Well off to my happy place.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 11:35 pm
There are many theories that are in favor of it being neural development, and then there are many theories in it being something in the psyche.
Regardless of the reasons or causes, the only one who can truly know if they are transgender in any way shape or form is yourself. It's not a race, and every one comes to different conclusions about their identity at different times in their life.
My best advice is to take your time, think about what would make you happy. There are always going to be nay sayers, no matter what you do, but in the end, you have to do what's right for you. Maybe it's to transition, maybe it's not. Just remember, the only right answer is the one that makes you happy, and that feels right for you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 9:55 am
Stranded][Lotus There are many theories that are in favor of it being neural development, and then there are many theories in it being something in the psyche. Regardless of the reasons or causes, the only one who can truly know if they are transgender in any way shape or form is yourself. It's not a race, and every one comes to different conclusions about their identity at different times in their life. My best advice is to take your time, think about what would make you happy. There are always going to be nay sayers, no matter what you do, but in the end, you have to do what's right for you. Maybe it's to transition, maybe it's not. Just remember, the only right answer is the one that makes you happy, and that feels right for you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:50 pm
I agree with him, take you time and really consider what makes you happen in the long run. I'm the same I have doubts about transitioning or not also. I know it's not easy sometimes but it really helps having people to talk to.Were all here for you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:12 pm
GlubbingTuna I agree with him, take you time and really consider what makes you happen in the long run. I'm the same I have doubts about transitioning or not also. I know it's not easy sometimes but it really helps having people to talk to.Were all here for you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:19 pm
Alex Sakuragi GlubbingTuna I agree with him, take you time and really consider what makes you happen in the long run. I'm the same I have doubts about transitioning or not also. I know it's not easy sometimes but it really helps having people to talk to.Were all here for you. Ive done all the same as well. My doubts go with the fact that I have some pretty serious health problems both physical and mental and i'm concerned with how being on T and such would affect the ones I have. So I am not sure if I should Transition or not.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 6:29 pm
GlubbingTuna Alex Sakuragi GlubbingTuna I agree with him, take you time and really consider what makes you happen in the long run. I'm the same I have doubts about transitioning or not also. I know it's not easy sometimes but it really helps having people to talk to.Were all here for you. Ive done all the same as well. My doubts go with the fact that I have some pretty serious health problems both physical and mental and i'm concerned with how being on T and such would affect the ones I have. So I am not sure if I should Transition or not.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 10:44 am
Alex Sakuragi GlubbingTuna Alex Sakuragi GlubbingTuna I agree with him, take you time and really consider what makes you happen in the long run. I'm the same I have doubts about transitioning or not also. I know it's not easy sometimes but it really helps having people to talk to.Were all here for you. Ive done all the same as well. My doubts go with the fact that I have some pretty serious health problems both physical and mental and i'm concerned with how being on T and such would affect the ones I have. So I am not sure if I should Transition or not. I plan to, I want to have top surgery badly, my chest just kills me on the inside. As for nay sayers I try my best to not let them get to me, it doesn't always work but I just remember who I am and that their words are only words, I remember that the people that matter are the people who love and support me like my Fiancee and my cosplay friends
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
![Stranded][Lotus's avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/a4/8d/422806f0d8da4_flip.png?t=1639802264_6.00_01)
