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 Posted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 6:32 pm
Howdy all. I figured that it was about time that I make a journal thread in here, since I've been feeling like rambling about stuff lately. I'm a 21 year old lesbian. Pretty much just coming out of the closet, after having recently broken up with my d**k (a*****e of a man) ex of almost 5 years. I'm just now really able to explore my sexuality, and in the process affirming my sexuality. I've really noticed my lack of attraction for men in these past 2-3 years, but wasn't 100% sure that I was really a lesbian until after meeting my current lover and her husband. I mean, like I said before, my ex is an a*****e. So I worried that, "Maybe I'm not a lesbian. Maybe I just don't find him attractive anymore." But that isn't the case, and in my heart I've known that for two years. So, hello world. I'm Res, and I'm gay and proud! smile 
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Posted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 6:50 pm
So last night I spent the night at my lover's place. We were both on our periods so nothing sexual happened, but even so, it was really nice. I wasn't expecting to sleep so well. I mean, I'm used to wanting to keep my distance when I sleep, but with her, she was there by my side all night and it was wonderful. smile Best nights sleep I've had in a while (which is surprising because you'd think I'd sleep even better in my own bed), and definitely, DEFINITELY best night sleep I've ever had with another person (and I lived with my ex for 3 years!). And it was so nice waking up and seeing her face right there next to mine. And I found we were holding hands. smile I've never had that sort of experience before. It just made me so happy. And so happy thinking about it.
I don't think that I'm going to fall in love with her though. At least... I'm going to try not to. I like her a lot. But she is married, so really I'd have no hope in the long run, and I'm not about to let my heart get broken. I will however still enjoy my time with her. smile We entered this with a friend's with benefits sort of deal. So I'm going to keep that mindset, even if we do develop feelings for each other.
Actually. (Really going to start rambling now.) I have the feeling that she has developed feelings for me. I feel sort of bad, because I'm being so cautious and am not allowing myself to fall for her. But I think she's already falling for me. She asked me to be her girlfriend already. And this confused me some. For one it seemed really fast. But then after talking to her and her husband more, I found out just how much she really likes me. And I think it's beyond the friend's with benefits sort of way. I mean, I find her very attractive and like her a lot, and would love to have a girlfriend like her, and would love to see her for the long term (going on vacations, to clubs, on dates, and such - all of which they've said they want to do with me), but the husband thing is keeping me at a distance still. I like the guy a lot too though (although not in an intimate way). They are just both really awesome people. Hm. Hopefully as I get to know them more I'll feel less confused. razz
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Posted: Thu Jul 11, 2013 3:34 pm
Random rambling about LGBT jewelry! So, I've been buying a lot of stuff lately to try to make it clearish to other lesbians, that I am one as well. Stuff like necklaces, bracelets, and earrings with the female symbol, infinity symbol, triangles, and all things rainbow (all of which are lesbian/gay symbols, that mostly only gay people know the meaning behind). Well, I've bought some pretty awesome stuff! From Etsy, Spencers, and here's the surprising one that I have gotten most of my stuff from: Claires. I never would have expected that Claires would have so much very lesbian stuff. Like a Rainbow Infinity symbol, necklace. Infinity symbol on a rainbow bracelet. Rainbow infinity rings... and more. It's so obviously gay (to me at least). The people who made them MUST have known the meaning behind it. There's no way that they would have paired up rainbow + infinity otherwise, I feel. A part of me thinks this is very awesome (I mean... I did buy all of them). But then I think about the poor young straight girls who buy these things without knowing the true meaning behind them. After Claires (and Etsy of course), the second best chain store to find gay stuff at is Spencers, it seems. I was surprised by this too. But I've found quite a few rainbow things there, as well as a lovely pair of ladies panties that says, "I really <3 girls" on it in rainbow. smile Now... on my quest for all things gay, I went to Hot Topic first, thinking it would be the most LGBT store, since it's been very colorful lately (more so than a decade ago). And boy, was I ever wrong. I couldn't find a single rainbow thing there other than socks, a tutu, and My Little Pony. =/ Nothing openly gay. And I found that their online store isn't much better either. Shocking!  Summary: Claires + Spencers = good for gay accessories. Hot Topic = bad.
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Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 12:36 pm
Woosh!
So yesterday I got seriously checked out by a girl. whee I was so happy. ^^ It's rare for me to get checked out by the ladies. I mean, men check me out all the time. And I get hit on all the time by them. But I guess there just aren't a lot of Lesbian or Bisexual women in my area. But this girl... this girl definitely was. It's a shame she wasn't my type though. sad I would have totally asked for her number if she was.
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Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 12:44 pm
Favorite Yuri / Shoujo Ai
I've been having a hard time finding good shoujo ai. u_u But I have found some stuff! It's not much... but here I go! So here is my list of my favorites.
Anime:
- Revolutionary Girl Utena
- Aoi Hana (Sweet Blue Flowers)
- Sasameki Koto
- Sailor Moon (at parts)
Manga:
- Girlfriends
- Kisses, Sighs, and Cherry Blossom Pink
- Strawberry Panic (I also have the anime, but I prefer the manga more)
- Kashimashi ~ Girl Meets Girl
Ero-Game:
- Yin Yang X-Change Alternate
Like I said, it's not much. sweatdrop I've tried to watch some other shoujo ai stuff, but just couldn't get into them. Like Blue Drop & RIN ~Daughters of Mnemosyne.
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Posted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 9:35 pm
Happy day! ^^
Not sure how today turned out so well! But I've got two dates lined up, and heard back from another girl that I'm interested in! Like... all of this in one day. @_@ It's amazing!
It's looking pretty good that I'll be going out on at least one date this weekend with a pretty lady~♥ Hope it goes well. Even if I just end up with a friend, that would be awesome!
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Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 11:49 am
O_O Two dates this weekend! Holy crap!
One tomorrow at the park, playing board games, with a super cute girl. ♥
And one on Sunday. Hibachi and seeing Kickass 2. With another cute girl. ♥
I've been actively searching for dates for 3 months now (you could make that 4 years if you count when I was with my ex and he let me date girls - just couldn't sleep with them *sad face*). And I find it amazing that in just one week, I've managed to get two girls to accept my proposal. smile It makes me incredibly happy! I hope at least one of them works out. If I could even just make a new friend, that would be a huge success!
And omg. Now I'm nervous. Realizing I haven't gone on a date in so long. @_@ I've met up with girls to have sex with, so those situations weren't awkward to me. I knew what was expected, so it was easy to make moves and know that it was okay. But these dates are not with sex in mind. redface Omg. Butterflies! Nervous. >_<
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