Welcome to Gaia! ::

I remember these days. I used to go on the internet and talk to whoever was willing to talk to me - didn't matter who. My parents were always so concerned that I'd meet the wrong person and put myself and my entire family into peril because I did this often as an outlet since I didn't get out much at that time.

Now a days, I don't search out people to talk to like I used to and try to keep important info to myself (I used to give out my state, gender, and age although later on - that would come with a name and not too long after, if someone wanted, they could have probably pieced together all the information and tried to find me if they truly wanted to). Luckily, I hadn't run into such people although I realize I could have and been in a ton of trouble. I gave out my number to a couple online friends after a few years as well, but it never lasted long because they have lives as well and I had hoped at times that no one else got a hold of that number or anything like that. I hardly ever give out my first name anymore and if I mention where I live, as an example something like: Eastern Europe. Not one specific area.

I will say that the internet can be an addiction in itself if we are not careful.

So, I will ask you this rhetorical question: "Did you know that there will be no computer in Heaven?"

Now, if your first thought was, "Yes, I know - I won't need it." Then that is excellent! If your first thought was (like at one point in my own life), "What?! No computer in Heaven? What am I going to do in Heaven without a computer?!" If you can't think beyond life outside of the computer - especially when one day you will not have it then there is a problem. In this sense, the computer can become a false idol to us because we put it before everything else and it's the only thing we want to do, and in essence we are wasting time. Time is precious, we must not waste it because every second that passes we cannot get back. I used to be addicted to the computer so heavily that it's the thing that took up most of my time and it was on my mind all the time and I was that way for years and those are years of my life that I can never get back so I had wasted so much time on the computer when I could have gotten to learn about God.

In a way, I wish I would've listened to my parents because time would've been spent better going out with them to eat, shop, etc. than to sit at home on the computer (basically doing nothing). When I was in your position of being torn between computer and family time - hands down I'd choose computer because that was my addiction so I did not care how everybody else felt about it even though they made comments about it telling me, "When you die - I wouldn't surprise if you were on the computer when you did."/"Man was not made to compute, but to work and do physical labor throughout the day."

I would say to put God first - read His word, pray to Him about your situation. Imagine Jesus being right next to you while you're on the computer - what would He tell you to do? If Jesus was here, how would He handle this?

She is nice enough to allow you into her home while you look for a job and go to school - the best you can probably do is respect her rules.

Perhaps it's not only the safety concerns she has, but perhaps if you spend more time on the computer than with her, it makes her feel isolated like you don't want to be around her when she does so much for you. A lot of us go through things like this with our parents/guardians, especially in today's culture because there is so much technology like computers, televisions, handheld tablets, cell phones, etc. - it's so easy to access the world in that way. Although, these things can be one of Satan's finest distractions to pull you away from God and the morals that He wants us to have.

I would personally say to plan a time to spend quality time with your mother. Only do what's necessary on the computer (checking e-mail, homework, perhaps checking your other accounts and then logging off as to not spend so much time). Perhaps set a time limit for yourself for 1 hour a day. Then the rest of the day - do something productive! The quality time with your mother could be helping her with cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc. Perhaps you could both take a class together to learn a language, do some art, or something else that's exciting to both of you!

Perhaps you alone can pick up a hobby that's more worth your time, or a hobby you can do with your mother. Here's a few ideas:

~Gardening
~Hiking
~Scrap-booking
~Photography
~Painting/Drawing
~Volunteer somewhere you're interested in
~Baking
~Dancing
~Hunting
~Archery
~Fishing
~Swimming
~Camping
~Go on a picnic
~Sit outside in a peaceful spot and jot down what's on your mind
~Go to the spa together (even if it's just for a manicure or a haircut)
~Go for a car ride around town

Humans only have so much time to live on this Earth so we need to make it count. Other people in our lives have a time limit, too, so we should cherish the time that we do have with family members and friends because no one wants to be crying at a friend or family members funeral and thinking or saying, "I wish I would've spent more time with them." because more time is something that other person will not be able to offer. The computer will probably be on this planet as long as it's here, just in newer advanced forms as the years go by. So would you rather spend time on the computer that's so easily accessable and will always be around or your mother who won't be around forever?



Why I posted the last one was not because of the money, but because anyone who tries to serve God and perhaps the computer, drugs, and other addictions or ungodly things is going to have to serve one or the other. If we are spending all of our time thinking about the computer and spending time on the computer, perhaps even ignoring our own physical needs - we are not honoring God.

In the end, the decision is only yours to make whether you create a balance between computer and other activities, or ignore the computer, or ignore your mother. Choose what God would want is the best advice I can give you.

It sounds like what your mom is really upset about is you not protecting yourself in cyber space. What you /can/ do is create an online nickname for others to call you, and keep your location and birthday and such a secret. That way it'd be nigh impossible for someone to find and harm you. I do agree with Aqua that spending time with your mom might help a lot of the tension she's feeling now; you said she's going through a hard time, and it sounds like she's taking a minor worry and amplifying it because she's so stressed out. Maybe she's really worried about losing you, along with everything else she's lost or is losing (I don't mean to assume anything). Definitely try to show her that you love her and you don't intend to hurt her.

What I don't agree with Aqua and Ohana on is you spending too much time on the Internet. I don't think they really addressed the issue here at all. You really wanted to know if roleplaying is wrong, and I don't believe it is. If roleplaying is wrong, then watching TV is wrong as well. I roleplay all the time, but I never do anything ungodly in the forums, and I don't believe you do either. My stepmom (a huge Christian) recently started letting my 14 year old sister watch Harry Potter (she used to be super strict about keeping us from watching anything related to magic), and she said that as long as a person can keep separate what is the truth (God) and what isn't (like fiction), it's fine. Keep on roleplaying if that's what you enjoy. Tell your mom that it's a creative outlet for you, and what it means to you to continue it. There has to be a compromise; I don't think you RPing while keeping your personal information private is too much to ask for.

I will pray for you. Definitely pray to God too, and ask Him what He wants you to do. Let me know if your situation gets better, or if you talked to her, and how it went. I'm here for you!