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 Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 3:33 am
Hi! My name is Felicia. I'm 19 years old and currently residing within the state of Texas. I'm hopefully going to start college this fall, and I will be studying either yoga instruction courses, or taking courses to become an art teacher! :3
I came across the term demisexuality when a few of my friends on a blog of mine posted about their experiences in coming out to their parents about their asexuality. I grew up with little to no libido and never felt too connected to anyone, so I wasn't sexually attracted to anyone. For the longest time I had believed that I was asexual because even though I was aesthetically attracted to men and women, I never felt much in the ways of sexual or romantic attraction. My friends often picked at me, saying I was an ice princess or that I was just prude and "needed to get laid." I learned to accept it. When I started dating, I found that after four years of dating one boy, I had fallen in love and after four long years, I had finally (for the first time) had sexual feelings for him. At that point I tossed aside my lifelong identity of asexuality and felt like I was normal. Yet when we broke up, and I tried dating again, I assumed I was heterosexual and was confused when I didn't feel any sexual tension no matter how many people I went on dates with. After a long time, I reconnected with a life-long friend and began dating. The life-long emotional connection that we had converted to romantic and slowly leading into sexual attraction.
After that I was confused. Because while I can be sexually attracted to someone, it felt complicated. It felt like if I didn't do a 5 year long emotional dance with this person, they weren't going to get anything sexual from me. Back on topic, I looked up the different kinds of asexuality, and demisexuality being one within the range of asexuality to sexuality. I read up on it, and looked up how other's felt before I even took it into consideration.
For the first time, I felt like all my relationships made sense. It wasn't a matter of being a prude, it was because I was a demisexual. Someone that, while they may find people aesthetically pleasing, doesn't feel sexual attraction based off of looks or what their exterior is like.
Tldr: How I discovered about my demisexuality.
Reply here with me and tell me how you found out about your sexual preferences! <3
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Posted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 7:48 pm
Loliimi Hi! My name is Felicia. I'm 19 years old and currently residing within the state of Texas. I'm hopefully going to start college this fall, and I will be studying either yoga instruction courses, or taking courses to become an art teacher! :3 I came across the term demisexuality when a few of my friends on a blog of mine posted about their experiences in coming out to their parents about their asexuality. I grew up with little to no libido and never felt too connected to anyone, so I wasn't sexually attracted to anyone. For the longest time I had believed that I was asexual because even though I was aesthetically attracted to men and women, I never felt much in the ways of sexual or romantic attraction. My friends often picked at me, saying I was an ice princess or that I was just prude and "needed to get laid." I learned to accept it. When I started dating, I found that after four years of dating one boy, I had fallen in love and after four long years, I had finally (for the first time) had sexual feelings for him. At that point I tossed aside my lifelong identity of asexuality and felt like I was normal. Yet when we broke up, and I tried dating again, I assumed I was heterosexual and was confused when I didn't feel any sexual tension no matter how many people I went on dates with. After a long time, I reconnected with a life-long friend and began dating. The life-long emotional connection that we had converted to romantic and slowly leading into sexual attraction. After that I was confused. Because while I can be sexually attracted to someone, it felt complicated. It felt like if I didn't do a 5 year long emotional dance with this person, they weren't going to get anything sexual from me. Back on topic, I looked up the different kinds of asexuality, and demisexuality being one within the range of asexuality to sexuality. I read up on it, and looked up how other's felt before I even took it into consideration. For the first time, I felt like all my relationships made sense. It wasn't a matter of being a prude, it was because I was a demisexual. Someone that, while they may find people aesthetically pleasing, doesn't feel sexual attraction based off of looks or what their exterior is like. Tldr: How I discovered about my demisexuality. Reply here with me and tell me how you found out about your sexual preferences! <3 Hello! I'm Hannah. I just turned 19 myself and I am attending college right now, and I was actually studying to be an art teacher but now I really want to do counseling so I am going to switch to Psychology. I'm from Missouri. I found out I was demisexual actually from Gaia (or at least that there was a term for how I felt). I had a thread about my sexual feelings and how i'd only ever had them for one person, ever. I have often thought if my partner and I broke up that I would never have sex again. We waited for over 4 years of being together before we had sex for the first time. My friends thought I was nuts, but I guess they don't understand the lack of sexual attraction. I remember being teased in high school because I didn't find shirtless male models "hot". I find women more aesthetically attractive then men, so for a while I wondered if I was a lesbian or bisexual, but I never had sexual feelings for any of the women I thought were pretty. I never really realized there was a term for how I was feeling. I assumed I was messed up from my experiences of sexual abuse when I was younger and that that was what was completely killing my libido. When I found out that how i was feeling was a recognized sexuality it made me feel much better. Someone on Gaia actually told me to research it and explained demisexuality to me, and it has helped me a lot in feeling more "normal". Also, randomness, I don't enjoy sex at all unless i am overwhelmed by emotional closeness at the time. It's not that I don't want to do it, but i have to be in a very specific state of mind to fully engage in the act. It doesn't so much matter that I am in love with my partner, I have to be consumed by the love in the moment, and when that is not the case sex just feels wrong to me. Do you ever feel that way? Anyway, that's my story, probably in more detail than you wanted to hear. Sorry about that lol. And I don't feel like I could only be attracted to males. I have only been attracted to one person sexually so I don't really know, but I think it is purely a matter of the person's character and our relationship, not a matter of gender. Anyway, you sound pretty similar to me in that regard, and that is why I started this guild, because I know how lonely it can be to not have anyone around who understands your sexuality. So many people think demisexuality is bogus or that it is just people seeking attention. That attitude makes me mad that people do not know anything about what demisexuality actually is.
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Posted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 9:57 pm
My name is Amber. I'm a 21-year-old panromantic demisexual. I've only experienced attraction to one person, and still have no desire to actually DO anything sexual.
I found out about asexuality in 2009-2010 on here (on an older account). I was browsing through the forums on here and found one about different sexualities. I decided to read through the first page, saw asexuality listed, and decided to look it up. When I did, I think I went into shock and stared at the screen for ten minutes. A few days later, I decided to stop being a coward and joined AVEN. I was an active member for quite awhile, but then I stopped going on because of trolls and the chatroom cliques.
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Posted: Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:28 am
Hello, I'm Jasia (pronounced as Yasha - similiar to one of japaneese demons which I always found rather comforting wink ), I'm from Poland, and I feel awfully old somehow since bodily I'm already near my thirties (27 to be precise). I guess my story is as anybodys in here. As a kid I found both men and women beautifull, and therefore considered myslef bi (not that I really knew the term then just though I could love man and women just the same), as a teenager I discovered mainly throug observation that seeing someone as beautifull and beeing sexually atracted to them are apparently two different things. And that I didn't feel any attraction what-so-ever. I thought I'm asexual then. And afterwards stupid things started to happen - I started to feel attraction towards people whom I should absolutely never feel any attraction for since they were my friends. It was and still is messy, and often I feel like I'm gonna explode... So yeah having some mental issues in here, and thought I feel that demisexual rather obviously is what I am, I would really rather remain asexual (in the meaning of feeling no desires at all) and get this craziness off of my head... Oh and as for the job it's just boring administrative paperwork that I ussualy find somehow soothing. Nice to meet You all smile !
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