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[Shinigami] Revy Johnson - Divison Three Lieutenant P|A

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Izumi Clearwater

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 2:17 pm


User Image
Player Name: Izumi Clearwater
Character Name: Rebbeca "Revy" Johnson
Position: Division Three Lientaunt
Character Age: 268 // Early Twenties
Date of Birth: 03/24

Height: 5'9"
Weight: 195lbs
Eye Color: Deep Amber
Hair Color: Dark Red

Parentage: N/A
Siblings/Children: N/A
Sexuality: Hetero
Descriptive Markings: Tattoo of a black flame running down left shoulder to elbow. Tries to never wear a Shinigami robe but instead loves to wear the same clothes she wore when she first died. Which are a dark red low cut T-shirt and a dark blue pair of thight short shorts. Is known to carry dog tags she makes of fellow teammates and squad members who fall in battle.
Personality: uses the most foul language. She takes maniacal glee in killing anyone and everyone. Constantly living on the edge of life, Revy has developed a rather bleak, almost nihilistic outlook on life, relying only on her own prowess, skills, and money. She doesn't believe in god or emotions. However, she seems to respect and trust her companions. One of her funnier aspects being quite forgetful, implying that her brash attitude caters to her stupidity.
Character Strengths:Large stamina and while blood thirsty in battle she uses this to act on pure instinct. Her Zanpakuto allows her to fire off cero-like blasts allowing her to have long range attacks as well as close range.
Character Weaknesses: Is a drunkard, headstrong, tends to stop thinking during battle, very weak Kido

Likes: any alcohol, fighting, strong people, guns
Dislikes: smart asses, people who get in her way, people to weak to stand up for themselves, when people spill her drinks.
Favorite Food: None really, but loves alcohol.

Zanpakuto Name: Ikkyu Ite (Sharpshooter)
Sealed Description: In its sealed state Sharpshooter appears to be a basic Gunblade as revolver is located in the middle of the blade while the blade itself appears normal. The handle is covered with a black leather with a small chain at the end.


Shi-Kai:
[ ✖ ] Zanpakutō Release Command: Dual wield. Sharpshooter (Nitōryū. Sogeki-hei)

[ ✖ ] Zanpakutō Shikai Release Appearance: How this Zanpakutō is released into it's Shikai form is rather strange. By placing both hands on the hilt on her sword, Revy speaks the Command then moves a hand down. The hilt will slide and once her hand is out of the way, the second blade forms.
[ ✖ ] Zanpakutō Shikai Appearance:same as sealed form only she has a second blade.
[ ✖ ] Zanpakutō Shikai Ability: Revy's Shikai allows her to fire off a blast of Spirit energy like a cero from the ends of her swords. Even while Revy had little training in Kido since her abilites with it nearly got her class killed, her blast are more like actual bullets. The shots can change to match a rifle, shotgun, or submachine gun allowing certain flows to be allowed. The sharpness of the blades themselves are able to cut anything in their path and other Zanpakutōs so long as they are that of someone less than fifth seat.

[ ✖ ] Zanpakutō Shikai Techniques:

✖ Rapid Fire - By staying in one spot Revy can fire off a series of shots from either one or both gunblades. Each shot is equal in power to a normal Hollow's Cero however since she can fire off so many at once they built up in power. The downside to this attack is she can not move, and afterwards her blade must cool down like a normal gun.

✖ Driver- Revy takes both blades and rushes forward stabbing into whatever gets in her way. During which she can fire off shot after shot of energy, blowing away what ever she stabbed. This allows her to clear out rubble that tries to fall on her as well as allow her to stab an enemy and blast a hole through them after. The major problem with this is that if it is used for too long without blasting and not having stabbed something for the blast to go into, the blast will cause the Zanpakutō to blow up and send it back into its sealed form without a blade: only the handle.

✖ Good Girls can't have fun like this- Unlike her other attacks this one doesn't let her fire off blasts, but instead is pure sword work. Rushing forward Revy will take any attack coming at her in order to throw the enemy into either a state of shock or of overconfidence. Just before they can finish a reaction however she flash steps into point blank range. By the time people get over this she has already begun to attack wildly. A major weak point of this is she will take damage to get to the enemy if needed and shows no fear of getting hit while up close to the enemy and attacking.
Ban-Kai:
[ ✖ ] Zanpakutō Release Command: Open Fire ()


[ ✖ ] Zanpakutō Bankai Appearance:User Image

[ ✖ ] Zanpakutō Bankai Ability: When Revy enters Bankai, she goes through several changes, and yet they are rather small. First is the fact her Zanpakutō is abosrbed into her body through the chest. Next her skin becomes a pale ghostly white and her hair darkens to jet black. Finally her eyes become a deep blue and the right glows with a pale flame. This flame acts as an aiming device, thus allowing her to see weakpoints in her enemies. The main ability of this Ban-Kai is that it allows Revy the power to summon any size, shape, and type if gun from everypoint of her body. Each of these weapons fire off the same type blast as her Shi-Kai only slighty stronger making them more deadly. The blast are able to break Shi-Kai of anyone lower than third seat unless hit by a barrage then any. They can normally tear through Kido easily under level sixty for normal ranked Soul Reapers. Anyone higher than third seat she is only able to tear though those of level thirty and below.. Yet the weakness in this is that the technique greatly reduces Revy's speed, thus making a Meele fighter who is able to get up close can easily over come the girl.

[ ✖ ] Zanpakutō Bankai Techniques:

✖ Piss off- Creates two large Gatling guns out of both arms. Each gun has three large sections that hold six barrles each. The weapons are so large that Revy has to normally has to position her body to aim the weapons long enough for the guns to fire. As such she is able to fire off a barrage of blast from each barrelin no time flat. Since there are a total of thirty six barrels all firing t once and spinning to increase their power, this ability normally will tear anything in its range to shreads.




Kido:Very little
Bakudou: None
Hado: Uses the energy in her blast doesn't know any spells.
Path Specialty: Hado since she uses it in her blasts.
Abilities/Special Training:

Hoho:
Revy is a highly skilled Hoho expert. She has learned two moves that go with Hoho which are: Senka and Way of Onmitsu, 3rd of the Shiho
However Revy's speed is also her weakness as during Ban-Kai she is seen being much slower do to all of her guns weighing her down.

Hakuda:
Revy loves hand to hand combat as much as she loves her guns. Do to this her skills in both Hakuda and Zanjustu are her best skills.
Revy's Hakuda mostly involves a large amount of strength behind each blow amking them somewhat slower yet each is cabaple of turning a full building to rubble with a single strike. She normally says this as a response to such power. "Just because you've hit me more than I've hit you doesn't mean you've won. See how you got ten hits to equal the same damage I gave you in one."

Zanjutsu:
Revy's most trusted strength lies in her ability to use a sword. Ever since she got Sharpshooter, Revy has trained her body how to use a sword besides just a gun. While her skills aren't perfect she is seen able to hold her ground against most enemies. However since her sword attacks are mostly long range based she still needs to work on Zanjustsu otherwise after a while she is able to be easily over come.

Kidō:
Kidō is both Revy's best and worst ability. While her skills with spells are terrible her Cero like blast are strong enough to even over power level sixty spells. This is also the reason why she was not placed in Squad Eleven due to the fact they didn't like ranged weapons that could use Kidō.
Biography:
Childhood in the Seireitei:
Was a major tomboy who loved to pick on the other kids in her district however would always stick up for them in case bullies from other districts tried to beat them up. Yet even then she never had friends and never showed emotions to anyone around her. Born in the slums she looked down on the Soul Reapers for letting the rich in more than the poor, and in this showed them no respect in any form. One day she snuck inside the Armory and stole a Zanpakuto, or so she thought. But the truth was once she was in the Armory looking for something to take her soul called out to create a Zanpakuto for her. She did not learn of this until later and taking the sword ran off proud she had been able to show the Soul Reapers she was better than them and couldn’t get caught, yet this was untrue. The moment she walked into the Armory a silent alarm went off in Squad nine’s barracks and the Squad arrived just as she was leaving. Days passed and the 13 court guard squads kept a close watch on the girl to see what she planned to do with the sword. Bored she would train slowly getting a feel for the blade. It was after two years with the blade that she used it in a real fight. A lone hollow had appeared in the district and killed several of the people there including a few unranked Soul Reapers. In a rage brought on by the attack Revy fought against the Hollow just as Squads Three and Nine appeared to take it out. They watched as the girl fought in pure rage dodging attacks and landing her own. Finally the demon tried to eat her and once it opened its jaws to bite down on her she fired one of her Spirit bullets blowing the monster's head clean off. Yet she soon fainted having used up to much energy in the fight. When she awoke she was in the Shinigami Academy enrolled as their newest student.

Shinigami Academy:
Still not trusting the other students Revy stuck with being a loner and a bit of a brute. When it came down to her studies she was one of the worst in nearly ever subject besides combat to a point. Not one for caring what happens to her enemies she would destroy training dummies and put several other students in the Hospital after breaking bones and leaving major bruises. There was talk of just kicking her out since they thought she was just bloodthirsty and wouldn’t listen to orders. Only during a training session in which she had to show leadership skills against a Hollow and get her mission done at the same time, was she able to prove them wrong. The mission was going well until the Hollow appeared and just before anyone could move they could tell something was off. Three more Hollows appeared and the Captains who created the test ordered them to retreat once they found this out. However one of Revy’s squad mates had twisted their ankle while they ran and forced them to hide out. Knowing her squad members wouldn’t be able to handle the Hollows she made them swear that no matter what to leave their hiding spot in the next five minutes and finish the mission. Afterwards she went out to face the Hollows thinking she was going to die protecting her squad. This was almost true as she was only able to defeat one of them before blood lost and fatigue started to take affect. Holding onto her Zanpakuto with both hands, Revy wished nothing more than to protect the squad as long as possible. However one sword wasn’t going to do the trick she realized and her hopes of winning slowly died. It was then that she heard a male’s voice telling her to repeat after him and pull on her swords handle. “Dual Wield! Sharpshooter!” She cried as the man spoke and ripped her Zanpakuto in two, thinking she had broken it. But then she saw it, in each hand she held a gunblade thus granting her the ability of dual wielding the blades. Still covered in her own blood she managed to slaughter the two Hollows before the Captains could take in the fact she had some how performed Shi-Kai. Yet the drain of her energy caused her to black out and she slept for the next two full days. Once she awoke her squad was in the room smiling at her and telling her that they had great news. She had been appointed to Squad Three after the exam due to her ability to use Shi-Kai and how well she did during the exam. At the moment she would not be a seat member but over time she would grow. Nodding she told the others to stay safe then beat the crap out of them for being in her room this early in the morning to make sure they didn’t think she was getting soft.

Vice captain stage:
Revy showed no one in the Squad any mercy the moment she stepped foot inside the barracks. All it took was the third seat to tell her that she was late to a meeting to have thrown her over the edge and break his nose with a single punch. Nearly everyone in the Squad soon tried to stay away from her, but she tended to hunt them down. Only the Captain liked her attitude and watched with great interest as she whipped the other members including the Third seat into shape. Since the spot was open the captain,gave Revy a shot at becoming Vice Captain. They told her take all the time she needed to train and once she was ready to come to them for the test. Knowing she would have to fight a Captain or another Lieutenant, she trained to reach Ban-Kai. For ten years she fought Hollow after Hollow, and would spend all of her time with her Zanpakuto listening to it. Finally the night before she told her captain she would take her test, she reached it. After ten years of training and nearly every point of her body covered in blood at one point, she unlocked her Ban-Kai. Knowing she had this secret weapon she promised herself only to use it when needed since the effects slowed her down quite a bit. The next day during her test, she was to fight Zaraki and last for ten minutes to become Vice rank. Once it began however people knew it was going to be a long fight. Neither Revy or Zaraki used their Shi-Kai or Ban-Kai but just when toe to toe with their swords still sealed. The fight lasted all night as they clashed and locked blades over and over. Finally however the next morning Revy felt herself in a hangover as by the third hour she had started drinking her special stash of Rum that she kept in her robes. Once this happened Zaraki was able to attack the drunk more easily and finally cut her from the shoulder down to the hip. While the cut wasn’t fatal alone, both the Captain and she were covered in each other’s and their own blood. Revy fell to the ground with a smile and a minute later so did the Captain.

Now:
As Lieutenant it is Revy’s job to keep the other Squad members in line while the Captain is busy. Her drinking life is still an all time high and when not on missions she follows the code of, fun first/work second, she if often seen drinking and (or often when drunk) picking fights with her other Squad members. Since she still wants to be stronger she openly tells any Captain she wants to fight them to take their spot, thus giving her a private section in the Hospital which she is in nearly every week. Only once has she used her Ban-Kai in a fight against her fifth fight against her own Captain. They swore to keep it a secret for her as she had still lost anyway. It is unknown when she started smoking but in the recent years that is one thing she is normally seen doing. At one point she owned an Mp3 player which she would listen to during fights and just when ever, but it broke a few months later. One thing she has learned to do fully is fight while drinking but only while her Zanpakuto is sealed. Problem is should anyone make her spill any of it, they tend to be sent to the Hospital as she unleashes both her Shi-Kai and her seal.
Theme Song: Red Fraction- Mell

Roleplay Example:

Revy yawned as she glanced at the five Hollows before her each as ugly as the next. Drinking down the last bit of her private stash of Sake she waited for the moment of attack. In the next second the first of the Hollows tried to slash at her with a claw only to mix as she used Shunpo to dodge to the right. Aiming Shāpushūtā at its head she fired off a single shot which bore through the creature’s skull. Thick black smoke poured out from the large hole as the Hollow fell off finished, its skin burning from where the blast had entered its brain. Turning to face the others Revy couldn’t help but lick her lips. “Come on then pussies. Show me those pretty faces under them masks.” She cried out as she darted forward. One of the Hollows tried to stop her by using what appeared to be an ability to create a barrage of blades that could be fired from its fingers. Bored Revy darted around most of the blades and knocked others away from her body. Some however found a mark and when she was finally up to the demon her body had been cut on her right cheek, left arm, and a small gash on both legs. Feeling no pain Revy let out a blood thirsty laugh as she grabbed the Hollow’s leg and tore it off. The creature cried out in pain only to be silenced as Revy fired a blast point blank at its face.
The final three all looked at her and let out roars of anger. Unlike the last two these ones were much larger than a human so she would need to be creative. The third was like a large ape and as she tried to think it brought down on of its fist. Pain racked the Soul reaper’s body as she was flung to the side and then she heard it. The sound of glass shattering broke through her ears louder then any of these Hollows roars. Looking down at her leg she saw both her own blood and a thick brown liquid running down her leg where she kept her stash of Rum. A sudden darkness passed over her as she took into account what had just happened. Like the beast it was the third Hollow swung again only to cry out in pain. It held its bleeding stump as the hand it had tired to crush Revy with lay on the ground spilt from the wrist. Revy looked at the creature her eyes filled with hate and bloodlust. Placing both hands on her Zanpakuto she held her gaze with the beast as she screamed out. “ Nitōryū. Sogeki-hei!” Ripping her hand across the hilt she felt her second blade’s hilt appear in hand. Rushing forward across the cold pavement she jumped up until she was level with the Hollow’s head. Firing off two shots she watched as the blast tore through both the heart and skull. Yet before it could fall over fully, Revy landed on the falling body and launched herself at the fourth Hollow. Spinning as she flew she fired off blast after blast. As she landed, where the fourth Hollow had been was nothing more than a cloud of smoke as she had fired nearly a thousand blasts into the demon. Now it was her and the last of them all. This one she wanted to save for last because it looked like a giant bull.
It gave a snort as it charged toward her. Using Shunpo again she was able to appear on a building behind the creature. Placing both blades on her chest she sighed. “Meishu. Hitotsu no guntai.” The blades slowly began to sink into her body as the skin turned a ghostly pale white. Her dark red hair began to darken to a powerful jet black. Her eyes grew brighter until they were a pale blue only the right had something else. A bright flame seemed to flow from the eye acting as an aiming device for her. The transformation had only taken a matter of ten seconds and the beast was still in the process of turning around to charge once again. Moving into a crouched position Revy watched as her arm changed into a sniper rifle. A small stand was attached and she quickly set up the legs as the beast turned around. Her left eye closed she looked into the scope with the help with her right eye. As the beast charged she waited until it was halfway there before firing. The blast tore through the right knee causing a large cry to escape the beast as it fell forward a large pool of blood leaving the stump. Nodding Revy watched as her hand returned to normal before changing both arms into a large set of heavy machine guns. Without another word she unleashed a barrage of blasts at the downed Hollow tearing its body to pieces.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 3:29 pm


Overall, this profile does not show the writing potential of a a Vice-Captain ranked character. The Shikai and Bankai abilities need to be placed in the correct areas, instead of lifted underneath Shinigami abilities for ease of reading.

As a sidenote, the zanpakuto abilities you have given do not showcase a Division Eleven type bundle of abilities. Guns are ranged weapons, instead of the required melee-based abilities. Even if it's a gun blade, they are primarily ranged, not primarily melee-based. I suggest changing squads to one more range or mix-combat oriented.

YummyBiscuits
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Izumi Clearwater

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 3:31 pm


YummyBiscuits

Okay sorry. I'll edit it. But i have to say that making it were you have to write a certain way is kind of bad. I understand you want someone who can rp well but still you have to remember most people want to put what is needed into their profile and get to the actual role play to show off their real skills.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 3:45 pm


Izumi Clearwater
YummyBiscuits

Okay sorry. I'll edit it. But i have to say that making it were you have to write a certain way is kind of bad. I understand you want someone who can rp well but still you have to remember most people want to put what is needed into their profile and get to the actual role play to show off their real skills.


It's not only guild, policy, but my personal policy as well. I'm not only the Vice Captain who watches over Shinigami actions, but I also have the Division Eleven Captain's seat. I require a certain amount of detail in profiles, and a certain amount of detail for higher ranks as well.
This is to ensure there are no discrepancies with abilities, attacks, and things of that nature. If you were to engage in a battle, small things like a lack of detail might cause various issues in said battle. I'd like to avoid that.

Quote me again when you have finished editing, please.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 4:00 pm


    there is a large amount of grammatical errors in this profile, as well as a lack of description and the pictures are too big.

    they are stretching my page.

    what else, oh yes.
    just because you're trying to put together a decent profile does not mean much, you still have to show off your skills as a roleplayer. it's an inevitable fact of writing.

    why would you want people to belittle you until you actually post?
    people get their first impression of you through your profile, so i would get your act straight before trying to argue with the person who may or may not accept it.

    Thank you, and have a nice day.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 7:54 am


YummyBiscuits

Finished again.

Izumi Clearwater

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YummyBiscuits
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 2:08 pm


I've noticed something here. You used the organization from my character's profile, without asking my permission. Something about the world of writing, you will learn, is not to take things from other people. That get's into copyright infringement things that Gaia has set up for all author's in it's various forum's and guilds.
I hold only a slight grudge at this. You should have asked, as I would have very easily allowed you do copy-paste the format. I would have even added some nice coloring to it, so that it made the profile look that much better. Next time you use someone else's things, make sure to ask, or Gaia Admin's might come after you.

Onto the profile now.

For a Vice-Captain, the age seems somewhat high. That sort of age is seen in Captain-class characters, and VERY rarely anywhere else. I suggest you lower this age, as there is no reason for such an age in the rest of the profile.

In the Bankai abilities, you state that your character's bullets can tear through Kido and Kido-based Bankai. You will need to either limit this, or remove it entirely. Some Kido will be incredibly powerful. Instead of stating it tears through Kido, make a point of Kido is weak to the bullets, and could possibly tear through normal kido. As for tearing through Kido-based Bankai, you will need to remove that portion of the ability entirely.

I must make a point about your character's Sword skill.I understand the meaning you are trying to get across with the sword skill, but you will DEFINITELY need to tone it down somewhat. Captains, specifically the Division Eleven Captain, have had much more training with their sword that your character would have. Specifically, the Division Eleven Captain would have a level of skill that not even the Head-Captain could match. That is simply because his life is dedicated to the use of his blade, and no other skill, such as sharpshooting.
This is for dual reasons. Your character is a Vice-Captain shinigami. Captain's have both more time to train, and they are expected to have certain level's of skill. Secondly, your character has to spend time both working on her shooting, and with swordplay. Time for training is split between both, somewhat limiting her ability in both fields.
List this as a mastered ability, with room to continue improving.

You did a much better job, this time around. I commend you for that, yo.
PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 3:35 pm


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YummyBiscuits
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